Wednesday, October 13, 2010

The Mental Lifecycle Of Special Music

Every few months I am asked to sing a song during the main church service.  Typically the song takes place during the offering portion of the service which is after the normal, congregational singing and announcements but before the actual sermon.  The early service (which we have been attending of late) does not have an official offering portion or any place for special music so whenever I am singing, we have to flip around our normal Sunday routine and attend the main service.  There are less men than women who perform in our church (and based on the churches I have attended in my life this is the norm).  If you add the fact that I am a male (low pressure as people are just happy to have a male up there singing) and that the first half of any song sung during an offering is slightly interrupted by people passing the offering plate then you can quickly see that the amount of scrutiny put on my actual performance is quite low.  I think I prefer it this way.  Given this, it does make it particularly difficult to gain the full attention of the audience when you want to drive home the point of the song.

With the exception of the time we spent in Texas, I have sang every few months for the past 6 or 7 years.  I am not the type to get nervous when speaking or performing in front of people (the congregation runs anywhere from 100-200 depending) but there is a definite cycle of emotions that my mind goes through between the time I am asked / scheduled to sing and the time that the performance is completed.

  1. Surprise (2 months to go):  I am always surprised when someone asks me to sing.  Growing up I was not much of a singer.  I finally got the courage to sing in the same church that I met my wife and even though I have done a few dozen songs I am still honored (and surprised) when asked.
  2. Apprehension (6 weeks to go):  Now I have to find a song to sing.  I could (and have at times) taken the easy road and redone a song from my past but it always nice to have a new(er) song to do.  Not all the songs that I like have accompaniment (karaoke) tracks available so this part of the process could take a week or two.  I like to sing songs that have meaning for me and not just songs that are pleasing to the ear.  My last 2 songs involved being a husband and / or fatherhood (including a real tear jerker on Father’s Day).
  3. Excitement (4 weeks to go):  Once I have a song selected, I am excited.  I practice the song 10 or so times and see if I can hit all the notes (or at least most of them).  I am busy changing a note or two so that it matches my voice and focusing on the meaning of the song.  I even think about how I might introduce the song to the congregation before I start.
  4. Comfort (2 weeks to go):  After about 30 run throughs, I get very comfortable with my song choice.  I know the troublesome parts of the songs (this particular note or this key change) and feel confident that I can work through them.
  5. Panic (1 week to go):  With about a week to go, I still have a troubling portion or 2 of the song.  I know that I am pot committed at this time though having shared the song title with the service planner and with the person who lays out the weekly printed bulletin and mid week email message about the upcoming service.  After 50 run throughs of the song, I have to go with what I got.
  6. Calm: (3 days to go):  The mid week email message outlining the upcoming service is out and my name is one it (it is always nice to see your name).  I have made my peace with the shortcomings of my voice as it relates to my song choice.  I know that no matter what, it will all be over soon.  Also I comfort myself knowing that no song, no matter how poorly sung, has ever been met with utter silence at any church I have ever attended.  There is always the pity clap that lasts long enough for the singer to bolt off of the stage and get lost in the pews.
  7. Excitement Part 2 (2 hours to go):  I skip Sunday school to help set up the microphone and speaker for the section of the stage where I will be located for the song.  I get to interact with the sound guy and get the levels of the mike set up to my liking and get to hear myself on the big speakers.  The other musicians that will be leading the song service are coming in and setting up and they are always fun to talk to.  These guys are professionals compared to me so it is fun to pretend to be a musician for an hour or so.
  8. Calm Part 2 (2 minutes to go):  If I am doing my song during the offering, I sneak up during the pastor’s prayer.  This always seem sacrilegious to me growing up.  All of us would close our eyes to a mostly empty stage and when we said the amen, there were several folks who obviously were NOT praying but setting up for the next song.  Now I get to be one of those people.
  9. Confidence (the music starts):  As I mentioned earlier, I do not get nervous in front of a crowd.  Also, if I have selected a song with meaning to me then no matter the quality of the performance I can still get the message of the song through by simply not getting in the way of it.  Some performances are better than others but I always try to focus on the message.
  10. Anticipation and Relief (the music ends):  It is always cool to have someone come up to you during greeting time or after service and explain how the song related to them.  Just having one person do this makes the hours and hours of prep time entirely worth it.  There is also the feeling that you are done with this task that you started 2 months ago.

This past Sunday I sang “Lead Me” by Sanctus Real.  It is a very touching song about the responsibility of being a husband and father and how we as men are truly powerless at times (without help) to lead our families as they look up to us to do just that.  I had many people come up after the service (a record number for me) to thank me for singing.  This past week was definitely a highlight in my singing “career”.  I have no idea when I will be singing next or what the song will be but I know it will follow the above outlined pattern.  It always does.

Jon

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