From time to time (mostly in the non-summer months) our church has what we call a “food contest”. Mostly it is an excuse to get together, fellowship, and enjoy some great, homemade food. Some of us take it more seriously though. The wife and I met and married each other in a different church then the one we currently attend. That church had a smaller congregation and while we were there we were rock stars when it came to food (compared to our fellow attendees). Now there were other good cooks (ok, so I exaggerated our status a little) but we were definitely toward the top of the pack.
Flash forward to approximately 9 years ago, our daughter was just born and the new church we had just started attending had a committee that specialized in providing meals for new parents (or any family going through a crisis [funeral, illness, severe injury, etc]). Night after night, delicious food was delivered to our door. Piping hot and (as one former co-worker used to say) “smack yo mamma in the mouth” good food and the quantity was amazing. There was so much food that we had to call off the committee and eat leftovers (which was fine by me). While we enjoyed the food, the wife and I knew in the back of our minds then and there that we had moved up to the big leagues.
There are typically (3) categories for each food contest and they rotate over the years. The pastor picks the categories and they are published well in advance in the church bulletin. The first few food contests we entered with high hopes. I seem to recall even entering a dish on my own (some sort of casserole that involved using White Castle burgers (buns and all). Each contest had the same result in that someone other than us won. Time and again we outdid ourselves with our entries (in our humble opinions) and each time our hopes of winning were dashed. We did not even warrant an honorable mention. After a few years we had had enough and the wife decided to become a food contest judge instead of entering entrees and I resigned myself to be a simple enjoyer of the food. Still though, I ate and enjoyed it with a heavy heart. I wanted to be a food contest winner. We then moved to Texas and our food contests were only a (bittersweet) memory. When we returned to Indiana, we resumed attending our old church and jumped back into the contests. The results were still the same however, no wins for the Dieterman family.
Yesterday was to be different though. We had another contest and the categories were
- Pork and Pasta
- Hot Veggies
- Cheesecake
Bingo! Cheesecake! The wife makes a mean NY style cheesecake. This was our chance, after (9) years of disappointment we would finally break through! The wife went to the store, purchased the necessary ingredients and jumped into action late Saturday afternoon. This is no small cheesecake, it is a monster requiring a lot of work. Then there is the cracking. You see, over the years the wife has only suffered only one bad mark on her cheesecakes, namely they crack. They still taste as good but are not as ascetically pleasing. This time the wife was not going to put up with any cracking. She did some research and discovered a few methods that she had not tried yet.
The cheesecake came out of the oven perfect. The cooling methods that she used worked to a charm and Sunday morning the top of the cake was smooth and inviting. It was going to be a great day. All those years of frustration, of clapping for the other winners with clinched teeth and jealousy would be behind us for this was our day.
We arrived at the church around 5 pm and delivered our entry to the judges…
Now that is a smile of a winner folks, brimming with confidence, already spending the $10 gift certificate that is the prize to the winner of each category. Notice too that there are no cracks. Once small pieces were cut from each entry for the judges to taste, the entries were placed on the desert table.
The cake at the top right was key lime cheesecake and worried me at first. Sometimes the judges go for originality and it is not like we have many lime trees here in Indiana. The bottom left entry also gave me cause for concern as the puff pastry pie shell could get originality points as well. The cakes toward the right (the one covered with plastic wrap and the one covered with cherries were no match for the wife’s cake. The other two entries toward the top did not concern me either. A prayer was said, lines were formed and we all dug in to the main courses with careful planning to leave room for desert.
After most of the eating was done (though there were many return visits for small helpings of favorites all night long) the pastor called for quiet and held in his hand the names of the winners. Now was our time, quiet please. The pork and pasta winner was announced. The winner deserved it, it was a great Asian style noodle dish with flavorings to match. There were not many hot veggie entries but the winner was clear (and the veggies were from her own garden – which some said was cheating, but evidently not grounds for disqualification). Then it was time for us to be announced as winners (ok, well at least the wife). Drum roll please…and the winner of the cheesecake category is…
Those of you that pay attention to detail (or those of you that know my wife) are probably wondering why this woman (and not the wife) is accepting the prize for the cheesecake category. Trust me, we are still wondering this even this morning. I am not sure who she bribed or maybe has some dirt on but somehow a gross injustice was done and we were (once again) losers.
Notice how the wife is choking back the tears of disappointment with some laughter. And I guess it is funny, I mean, the pathetic desire to win at least once. Before the judges made their decision I did wander around them and suggest that we were may have to look for a new church should we not win, a church that perhaps did not have so many good cooks and bakers. I even half hoped for a “Hoosiers” type moment in the voting where after the vote was announced, something caused everyone to revote. This of course did not occur. We limped home, leftover cheesecake in tow (that’s right, the church did not even finish it all off for us) and reassessed the situation and in the end we decided to stay with this church and try again next time. But a word to the judges, we had BETTER win next time.
Jon
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