Like Father, Like Son

3 weeks ago I wrote a blog about my abandoning the NFL for this season.  So far so good.  I did overhear in a conversation that the Indianapolis Colts lost on a last second field goal last week so I have at least saved myself the immediate gut wrenching feeling and successive minor depression for a day or two.  I have also gained about 12 hours of my life from not watching the first (4) weeks of games.

This is not the case for my son who (for the first time) has a sudden interest in football.  I don’t just mean that he likes to watch it (he is a Dallas Cowboys fan).  He is enjoying playing at recess at school and hardly a night has gone by that he has not begged me to go outside and toss the pigskin with him.  Initially he threw the ball pretty good but was not great at catching.  He was basically afraid of the ball like a lot of kids are but nightly practice, my goading him on, and (most importantly) peer pressure have got him to be more aggressive.  I try to explain to him that the game is a lot more than throwing and / or catching.  I point out that the quarterback (which he thinks he wants to be) has to know all the receiver’s routes and be ready to watch the entire field and (in most cases) get a pass off in 3 seconds or risk being pummeled by huge men who wish to do him harm.  He then (of course) asked me to teach him how to do all that and was a little saddened that I did not know how.

When I played football at his age (also only at recess) I was mainly a receiver.  With my height advantage I just needed the pass to be high in the air and I could out jump my defender.  I threw a baseball (and thus a football) side armed and that was definitely not an advantage so I was seldom the quarterback.  I do remember having a lot of fun though.

Another thing I am trying to teach him is comedy.  My forte is sarcasm (which he cannot quite grasp) but he thinks he has what it takes to be a stand up comedian.  Or at least to memorize other comedian’s stand up routines enough to make others laugh.  He is busily working on his timing and facial expressions along with memorizing a few Jim Gaffigan routines.  I have cleaned up a line or two here and there and suggested alternative words that are more appropriate for a 12 year old.  He never realized how much hard work is involved.

Our church is having one of their famous “talent” nights this coming Sunday and he is seriously considering signing up and trying out his new found skills.  He has a 4 minute routine on cake and another 4 minute one on holiday traditions (with fruit cake as the natural segue [another thing I taught him]).  I am trying to talk wife to playing the song “Rainbow Connection” while I sing along and then I might attempt another song (a cappella) but I have not finalized my plans.  I half expect the son to bow out and not go through with it.  I will have to keep you posted.  I am not sure if I want him to succeed or fail as it has been quite annoying to hear the same routine over and over again for weeks on end.  I wonder if other comedian’s fathers felt this way?

Jon