Fifteen years ago today I got married to the only girl that I have ever kissed. I could (or probably should) devote this blog to my wife, her love for me, blah, blah, blah, but I think I will instead talk about coffee mugs.
I will give you two guesses (and the first one doesn’t count) as to which mug is mine and which is the wife’s.
I suppose this is sort of an analogy for our marriage. We are the same (a coffee mug) but we are obviously unique. We go together (and even look like we belong together).
My mug (in case you could not guess) is the one with the football on it and my wife’s mug is the prettier, more formal looking one.
I suppose this is sort of an analogy for our marriage. I am the simpler, informal one whereas she is more ornate and detailed. I am more base in my interests and she is more complex and it shows in our exteriors.
These mugs (moments before this picture was taken) came from the top shelf of our dishwasher. They were placed there yesterday (after coffee consumption was done for the day) and sat (mostly in the dark) until the washer was ran. Then they sat (still in the dark) while they dried and awaited the time for their use. This is done every day of the week, ad nausea.
I suppose this is sort of an analogy for our marriage. We spend most of all our time together. There are times that we are in the dark, and maybe cannot even see each other, but we know we are together (or have faith enough that we are). We see each other at our dirtiest and our cleanest. Also (and you can ask our kids this), we shower together at times (the son will even go so far as to suggest that we do this to save time if he happens to be in a hurry). Additionally, we are OK with doing the same things, day after day, over and over. We know our place.
What you cannot see in the above picture is that the mugs have both sugar (turbinado) and creamer (half and half) in them in anticipation of coffee being prepared. I like (need) more sugar and she likes more creamer.
I suppose this is sort of an analogy for our marriage. Though you cannot see it, and though we look differently on the outside, we are very similar inside. Also, I require more sugar (I am more bitter naturally) and she less (she is sweeter). She requires more creamer (I am smoother naturally or perhaps am more ok with things being less smooth / more bumpy). We both are ready for whatever comes next in life and we will go through it together.
We have had many different mugs over the years. Some have been retired, some have been broken or chipped, some have simply been replaced when a new mug appears (like in the case of my football mug that was a Father’s Day gift from my kids or her current mug that was a gift from a secret pal at our church back in Kokomo).
I suppose this is sort of an analogy for our marriage. We are not the same as when we first met or were first married. We have changed. Some changes happen over time and some were sudden due to the things that life throws at us (our handles broke off). Some changes are of our own doing and others are suggested to us by friends and family. Over time, we may look totally different but we still recognize each other.
If you look at the photo again, you will see some items in the background. There is a non functioning light bulb (to the left of the top of her mug). There are some bananas (in a plastic bag, to the left of the light bulb). Also there is a roll of paper towels. To the right is a microwave. The non functioning light bulb is actually sitting in a plastic bowl that is full of marbles (don’t ask).
I suppose this is sort of an analogy for our marriage. We are surrounded by lots of things. Some junk that needs to be thrown out but we are hanging onto for no reason (like the light bulb), some that are for our good (like the bananas, probably organic), some to help us get along in life (like the microwave), and some that are there in anticipation of our mistakes (like the paper towels). There are even things that make no sense (like the marbles). If we zoomed out on the photo, the mugs would almost be swallowed up by all the things around them. In the big picture, we are like these coffee mugs, almost lost in the chaos that is our lives but yet close to each other.
The wife and I have coffee every morning, without fail. Usually it is my job to get up (while the wife stays in bed and Oreo, the Shih-Poo, takes over my spot in the bed) and get the water going. Oftentimes it is the wife who preps the cups, pours the coffee and delivers it to me in the living room. We sit together and sip our coffee (initially it is too hot) before the kids get up and we either watch a recorded sit com or listen to a podcast (we are avid listeners to NPR’s Planet Money podcast).
I suppose this is sort of an analogy for our marriage. I tend to do things first (like get up first) but she is there to help shortly and is willing to forego comfort (the bed) and the love of other things (Oreo protests though when she gets up). In the end she does more work (like prepping the mugs, pouring and delivering the coffee) than I do. We enjoy being together to start our day and even get angry with the kids if they come out of their rooms too early and interrupt our time together. We enjoy laughing together (the sit com) and learning together (the podcast). We are content to wait together (like when our coffee is too hot).
My wife was not a coffee drinker when we got married. I introduced her to this pleasure quickly though. Initially we had a simple coffee maker and used pre-ground beans. We graduated to whole beans and a coffee grinder and then eventually to a French Press. We tried an AeroPress but then moved back to the French Press. We have each given coffee up several times in the past (sometimes together, sometimes separately) but we always come back to it. We tried decaf coffee, tea, etc. but in the end we return to the comfort and familiarity of our morning routine. It is usually not the coffee that we miss, but the time together each morning. We are very jealous of this time.
I suppose this is sort of an analogy for our marriage. I introduce my wife into new things (and she I). Over time our tastes have become refined (grinding our own beans) and we have become more sophisticated (French Press). Sometimes we get to snooty (AeroPress) and then quickly get back into our place. There are periods in our lives that we change (sometimes together, sometimes solo). In the long run though we come back together to our comfort zone. Even though we can do our own thing (the coffee mugs can hold tea just as well as coffee), we come back to needing to prioritize our time together, irrelevant of what it is we are doing or if we are accomplishing anything.
Well I hope that you have enjoyed my blog about coffee mugs. A special apology to the wife for not dedicating this to you and our 15th wedding anniversary. Maybe next year.
Jon
