A Letter To Myself

Dear Jon,

    At the time of this letter I am 44 years old and I am writing to you, my 65 year old self.  This is probably an easier concept for you to grasp on your side of things than it is for me on this side of 65.  I hope that all is well and that you indeed even exist (meaning that I both survived to be 65 years of age and that I still possess the mental capacity to read).  I hope that your 35 year wedding anniversary was a grand event.  I hope that you are enjoying retirement (please tell me you are retired!) and that you are enjoying your grandchildren.  I hope that this letter finds you still enjoying the house that is being built as I write this letter and I really hope that you are mortgage free.  Now, on to the main point of this letter.

    My son (or I guess more correctly, our son) is 15 years of age at the time of this letter and I have found myself speaking to him more and more about decisions he is now making and how they will affect him when he is 25 years of age.  I have asked him several times specifically, “How would your 25 year old self prefer you spend your time right now?”  Normally this question is asked within the scope of choosing to read a book or play one more game on the X-Box.  Unfortunately he is not thinking very highly of his future self (though he is getting pretty good at shooting people on the X-Box, a skill that I have mentioned repeatedly is NOT something that employers look for either now or likely 10 years down the road).  These conversations got me to thinking about you, my future self.  I do not know exactly why I am writing to you at 65 versus me / us at, say, age 55 but it probably has to do with my association with 65 and retirement.  At my current age, I cannot fathom retirement but 65 seems far enough into the future to have accomplished enough in order to be able to retire.  If you, my 55 year old self (or any other aged self), are reading this letter then keep in mind that this is not meant for you exactly.

    I was recently rereading some blog posts that we wrote the summer before we turned 40.  We seemed determined to get in shape / lose some weight before we hit 40 and if you recall we actually pulled it off.  I smiled as I read those posts and then also felt saddened and even ashamed at what I have let our body revert back to.  In the 5 years that have passed since then, I have returned to my pre 40 year old ways.  I could really use another spring / summer like that year where I had the time and motivation to get back to 180 lbs.  I seemed happy and excited, not just about getting in shape and losing weight but about everything.  It is not that I am not happy now, but I fear that I was happier then.  If I lose that much happiness every 5 years then I fear that you are not going to be a very happy person.  I am wondering what I can do about that.

    I want to start off by apologizing for any health issues that you currently have due to my neglect over the past 5 years.  I don’t exercise enough and I eat poorly.  I am hoping that this letter will spur me on and help me change my ways in a manner that will still be effecting you as you read this letter.  Our wife never stops offering to help us out but our stubbornness for some reason pushes us to do things on our own which more often than not results in nothing getting changed permanently.  On a side note, I can only imagine the daily regimen of pills that she now makes you take.  If I could chart the number of pills taken daily from Day 1 of our marriage up until now and then extrapolate to age 65, well all I can say is that the money you are not spending on that mortgage that I hope you don’t have is probably spent at the vitamin shop.  But I digress…

    As for what I am going to change to ensure your health.  I think it has to be both simple and extreme.  Simple plans have always worked the best and extreme plans have even worked better.  Cutting back on desert never works but cutting out desert altogether seems to have worked in the past.  We tend to like to play the part of the sufferer so forgoing desert, limiting coffee (or probably eliminating it) and daily exercise might fit the bill.  If nothing else, if I start a walking / jogging regimen now, by the time I reach your age you might be able to walk the dozen or so dogs that our wife will have certainly talked us into by then.

    Speaking of our wife, in case you don’t remember, we have an awesome one.  She even bought us a little Fiat 500 a few months ago.  I hope that you have fond memories of that car and the joy it brought us for the many years that it lasted with little or no mechanical issues.  As I mentioned before, we are currently in the final stage of building her a house and she is very excited.  I am not that excited as I am focused too much on the finances (you know how we are).  I am not sure why having a mortgage weighs so heavily on my mind.  I have had them before and I have never been in want and have always been able to pay the bills.  Also, no amount of raises or bonuses in any job that I have ever had has ever made me feel financially secure.  Thinking that more money will somehow change my feelings seems silly now that I think about it given that it has never changed my outlook previously.  I really should enjoy this time in our lives more and I make an effort to do so.  I will do my best to ensure that you have fond memories of your mid 40’s.

    I really hope this letter motivates me to change my habits in a positive way but I suppose you know if it did or not, huh?  I am not sure of a good way to end this letter so I will not attempt to think of one other than…

Best Wishes,

Jon (your former self)

PS: Do you really look like this?
http://www.in20years.com