The kids alternate emptying the dishwashing machine. The son gets Mon / Wed / Fri and the daughter gets Tue / Thu / Sat (or maybe it is the other way around) and the wife or I take the remaining day. You may recall that I have had issues with dishwashers in the past. The dishwasher that is in the house we are currently leasing is a little insufficient for our dish washing needs but that is not why I am writing this blog post. This post has to do with little wooden spoons and my morning coffee routine.
The wife and I get up well before the kids every morning. I am usually up first and have a routine involving letting all the dogs out and putting water in our tea kettle to use to make French press coffee. I measure a French press’ worth of water and put it in the tea kettle. I turn on the burner and place said tea kettle on it. While I am waiting for it to boil I put two scoops of coffee into the French press (at times I may need to grind more coffee first since we buy it in whole bean form). I then grab our coffee cups out of the dishwasher (though we have many coffee cups we tend to use the same ones each morning) and prep them with the correct amount of sugar (raw) and cream (half and half) and await the water to come to a boil. Once the whistle starts on the tea kettle, I turn off the burner and then pour the hot water into the French press until it is about 2/3 of the way full. It is then that I have to start the hunt for the small wooden spoon that I use to stir the water before filling the French press to the top and setting the timer on the stove to the 6 minutes it takes to steep the coffee.
Every other part of the morning routine (even down to the amount of time the dogs spend outside) is predictable and can be done with little or no thought to the actual steps (a little dangerous toward the end given that there is boiling water involved) but the wooden spoon portion is the wild card in the process. First, let me explain why we use a wooden spoon as opposed to a metal one.
I think I want to be a coffee nerd so I have done a little research on the proper way to make French press coffee. This led us to buying coffee beans rather than coffee that was already ground (and a coffee grinder). I arrived at the 6 minute steeping time based on other research and somewhere along the way I read (probably as a side thought to some article) that you should never use a metal spoon to stir the coffee while it is in the French press. We happen to have several (three I think) smaller wooden spoons that we did not use for much of anything and they were the perfect size for stirring the coffee. Each of these spoons have become somewhat stained from the actual spoon portion and all the way up the handle to a point that coincides with 2/3 of the depth of the French press carafe (the amount in the French press when I stir the coffee). OK, now on to the issue at hand.
Even though we have moved several times since we began our use of the French press, our kitchen drawer situation has been pretty consistent, specifically where our silverware and utensils are stored. We have the standard drawer where silverware is placed with the normal plastic molded container that indicates where knives, spoons and forks go and we have a lazy Susan like container that sits on the counter next to the stove where some of the more commonly used utensils should go. Things like spatulas, whisks, vegetable peelers, etc. are placed in this for easy access. It is in this thing that I expect the small wooden spoons to be since they are used every day. We have a few other drawers that contain items that are too big to be placed in the the lazy Susan. This would include the roller (for rolling out bread or cookie dough), the wine cork opener thingy, our oversized pizza cutter, etc. These are the drawers you dig in when looking for that not oft used device. There is probably a 50/50 chance you would injure yourself if you are not careful (not that I have ever poked myself in the hand with the wine cork opener, I am just saying that is is possible to hurt yourself mind you).
For some reason lately, I spend a lot of time looking for these wooden spoons during my coffee making routine each morning. Given that I have just awoken and given that some drawers have the possibility (I am told) to cause bodily harm if you do not have your wits about you, one could see where one might be upset if one had to spend too much time in search of a needed tool used in the craft of morning coffee making. It is hard enough to find these wooden spoons in the lazy Susan given that these spoons are smaller then most of the other things that are stored there, but add to the mix that they might not even be there and the fact that I am probably only 10 minutes removed from slumber and you could see how this could be irritating. I have tried complaining to the help (aka kids) but they have not improved in the placement of these spoons. The problem I think is that they are too much like me and need a detailed list of instructions that are logical in order to be able to do the job properly. By the way, this is why I do not help with the sorting of the laundry. The wife has failed to make any logical sense why one shirt goes with the lights or darks or why some items of clothing are put in the dryer and others are hung up to dry. The day I see the rhyme and reason to this madness is the day I offer to help. Perhaps this can be part II to this blog.
Anyway, I have thought about this for the past few weeks (usually while digging through drawers looking for wooden spoons, silently cursing under my breath from small puncture wounds one might get while dong this) and have decided to see if some sort of instructions would help out. Since the only set of instructions that I know are the ones I use to program, my instructions will have to be in that format.
Sub StoragePlace (utensil as string) as string
If utensil = “wooden spoon” Then
StoragePlace = “Lazy Susan”
Else
NormalPlacementofItems()
End Sub
Since they do a pretty good job with every other item and finding it it’s proper home, I could just reference that imbedded subroutine “NormalPlacementofItems()”. Now, this first version met my immediate needs but caused a little bit of a problem in that the kids would have too much fun sticking things randomly where they do not belong since that subroutine is not properly documented. I had to be more thorough (like any good coder would) and capture all the possibilities. I won’t bore you with the details but here are the end results keeping in mind that I am only referencing the items currently in my household and the drawers allotted me. I had to assign some attributes to each item rather than call them out by name (for example, the wooden spoon would have the attributes of UtensilType = “spoon” and UtensilAttribute = “wood”).
Sub StoragePlace (UtensilType As String, UtensilAttribute As String)
If UtensilType = "Spoon" Then
If UtensilAttribute = "Metal" Then
StoragePlace = "Silverware Drawer"
ElseIf UtensilAttribute = "Wood" Or UtensilAttribute = "Plastic" Then
StoragePlace = "Lazy Susan"
Else
StoragePlace = "Misc Drawer 1"
End If
ElseIf UtensilType = "Fork" Then
If UtensilAttribute = "Metal" Then
StoragePlace = "Silverware Drawer"
Else
StoragePlace = "Misc Drawer 1"
End If
ElseIf UtensilType = "Knife" Then
If UtensilAttribute = "Steak" Then
StoragePlace = "Silverware Drawer"
ElseIf UtensilAttribute = "Bread" Then
StoragePlace = "Misc Drawer 2"
Else
StoragePlace = "Misc Drawer 1"
End If
ElseIf UtensilType = "Other" Then
If UtensilAttribute = "Plastic" Then
StoragePlace = "Lazy Susan"
ElseIf UtensilAttribute = "Metal" Then
StoragePlace = "Misc Drawer 2"
End If
Else
StoragePlace = Randomize()
End If
End Sub
Now, to all of you coders out there I know this is not perfect but it is a start. It is probably enough to get the kids going anyway. I imagine they will do the research and point out flaws (kids like to prove their dad wrong I hear). That is ok, as long as the little wooden spoons are where they are supposed to be each morning.
Jon
