Saturday, July 16, 2011

Losing Interest

My son asked me a question the other day.  Actually he has asked me this same question several times over the past few weeks.  That is how he is.  If I do not give him an answer that he likes or is satisfied with to a question then inevitably he will think about my answer for a while and then ask it again.  It is as if he thinks I am holding out on him and (like, say, Google) if he rearranges a few keywords and asks again, the results will be different.  It is not a feature that I am particularly fond of but he is who he is (and he is a little too much like me in this manner for my liking).

Anyway, back to my son’s question.  The question in its original form was “Dad, how to you start to like something again that you used to like?”  It seems that he has lost the love of weather that he once had.  He used to spend most of his time on the internet at sites like weather.com or noaa.gov.  He could rattle of the 10 day forecast with ease and the wife and I never had to do anything other than ask him if we wanted to know the projected high temperature for the day or the percent chance of rain for any given 4 hour period (or, when he was extremely interested in weather, the pollen count).  He is no longer (as) interested in that subject and he remembers enjoying it and wanted to know how to get that love back again.

My various answers (remember, he asked this question more than once and with various keywords changed) range from “People’s interest change from time to time, it’s natural.” to “If you just spend as much time as you used to researching weather, maybe you will start to like it again.” to “Please, go away.”  That last one is my equivalent of the internet connection being down at our house (which happens often enough to be annoying).  None of these satisfied him of course as he wants THE answer that will magically return him to a previous state.  My son, if I knew how to do that, I would be rich.

I feel this way sometimes toward the sport of bowling.  When I was younger, I lived, breathed and ate bowling.  I would never miss the Saturday 3:00 to 4:30 telecast of the PBA on ABC with Chris Schenkel and Bo Burton.  In fact, shortly after I got married, I gave away to a friend of mine 30 or so six hour VHS tapes full of years of PBA telecasts.  If I taped the shows while watching them and paused the recorder during the commercials I could get 5 telecasts on one 6 hour tape.  I went on to become a good youth bowler and eventually a professional bowler.  I hit the local “regional’” tournaments for 3 years and broke even (winning enough over time to pay for gas, hotels, food and equipment).  I had a great time and then I gave it all up when I got engaged.

A few years into my marriage I tried to renew my interest again.  I joined a “challenge” league (where they make the conditions more difficult [including using heavier pins] thus lowering the average scores).  I did this for 2 or 3 years and I did have a good time.  But, it was not like before.  I saw the league as a hassle some weeks.  I ended up hanging up my bowling shoes again and (other than one game of bowling in Argentina in 2007) I have not bowled in over 7 years.  I keep telling myself that I will get back into it someday.  Every once in a while I run into my old bowling balls in the garage (I do not know why I keep them as even if I returned to bowling, I would be at a technological disadvantage using them akin to using a wooden racket in tennis).  I stick my thumb and fingers into the bowling ball and memories rush back in of all the good times I had with the sport.  I then put them back in the bag and move on to whatever it was I was doing.

Son, I do not know how to revive interest in something you once loved.  People change.  Situations change.  Interests change.  It is just a fact of life (not one you have to like but a fact nonetheless).  I am sorry that I do not have a better answer for you.

Dad / Jon

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