I Threw A Brick Through A Window

U2 LYRICS

No-one, no-one is blinder than he who will not see.
No-one, no-one is blinder than me.

In one part of this song, Bono sings about seeing his reflection in a window.  His reflection causes him to think about the current direction of his life.  Though the title of this song does not appear in the lyrics, you can tell that he was not happy with what he saw.

Don’t you wish it was that easy?  If you do not like what you see in yourself then you can choose not to look (or demolish the thing that is there to make you look inward).  I suppose many people do this on the surface but I have never been able to.  The Bible talks about this in a sense in the book of James, chapter 1…

23 Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like someone who looks at his face in a mirror 24 and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like. (NIV)

This passage talks about the Bible (word) being the window that shows us a reflection of our true selves.  So it seems that no matter if you are using a literal mirror or some other method of self reflection, we have a tendency to attempt to forget about what we see, or worse to destroy or dismiss the thing that shows us our true self.

I want to change in many areas of my life, I really do.  I think I can change, for a while anyway.  Part of me though will always remember my past and not be able to stop dwelling on it.  No matter how much I change for the better, I remind myself how I was before I changed.  What is done cannot be undone and I will not let myself forget it nor will I forgive myself for any past sins.  I then lose momentum for whatever change I am trying to perform in my life.  My mind reminds me that no matter what I do, I will have always been that former person so what is the point really?  I might as well continue in my old ways since I can never remove the stains and creases caused by my former actions.

I wish this were not the way it is for me.  I am sure I am not alone in this mental anguish that I put myself through.  I do not think it is possible (without the assistance of drugs or surgery) literally to forget about the past but how do we deal with it?  How do we look at it and not chastise ourselves?  I think if I do not figure this out then old age will be torture for me.  I will just have 30 or so more years worth of memories of bad choices and incorrect actions.  I will need to figure it out I fear or risk going mad.

I have held off for a week in sitting down and writing a blog about this song.  The next song on the October album is called Rejoice.  The last line of that song talks about changing the “world in me” so maybe this will give me some direction.

Jon