Blog Number 54

Greetings and welcome to today's random thought.

n a sad note tonight, I am no longer the KBounce World Champion. I took over the highest score on 6/3/06 and just yesterday on 8/30/06 someone blew away my score. I am not going to attempt to regain my title. The game takes hours, yea days, to play. I am still listed as a previous high score owner, but that is an empty feeling. I hope I have not lost anyone's respect here (bonus points are given for ever even having heard of this game).

The building I now work in is much larger than the one I worked in while in Kokomo, much much larger. In fact, you could fit the building I was working in inside the cafeteria of this new building. I have been getting a little brave and wandering around a little, trying different ways from getting from the parking garage to my cube and back. I have discovered quite a few offices / cubes of people that I know only by phone conversations and emails. It is kind of fun to do this now, however during the first few days that was not the case. There were times I was lost. Then there were times that I could literally see my cubicle (or cubes near it) but for the life of me I could not figure out how to get from where I was back to my cube. I secretly wished I had one of those BatMan grappling hooks so I could just take the straightest path. I guess I will need to leave a bread crumb trail if I want to wander around again.

There was a lady that was trying to carry a bunch of boxes of files from the cube behind me and I offered to help carry them to wherever she was going. She appreciated the help. We moved through a maze of cubes, down some stairs and then through a door that she had to use her key card to get through. Once I set the box down I only had one request, that she walk me back since I had no idea where I was at.

Yesterday I referenced the movie Krull. Well continuing with the movie theme tonight, there is a scene in Elf where Buddy is in a men's room stall. He was used to elf sized toilets his whole life. He stood up on the stall and looked down into the next stall and said, "These toilets are ginormous!" That pretty much sums up how I feel in this building.

Thanks for reading my Random Thoughts.

Jon

OK, Work With Me On This One

Greetings and welcome to today's random thought.

Today I would like to discuss how searching for my nail clippers is like a 1983 science fiction film. I would not be offended if you stop reading now but I have a feeling you have got to be wondering how I will pull this off. Well, read on.

This will make a lot more sense if you have ever seen the movie "Krull" but for those of you who have never seen it, here is a brief overview. A prince and a fellowship of companions set out to rescue his bride from a fortress of alien invaders who have arrived on their home planet. From the sky will come the Black Fortress. From the Fortress will come the Slayers to devour the planet of Krull. Then shall a girl of ancient name become queen...she shall choose a king...and together they shall rule the planet. And their son shall rule the galaxy. The problem for the hero is that the aliens live in this black fortress / castle like thing that changes location every 24 hours. The new location is only known to the people in the fortress and they ain't sharing their choice of the new location. The princess is captured and the prince has to go to the The Widow of the Web to seek out where the fortress will next appear. The Widow sacrifices her life to tell the prince where it will be and he goes on to attempt to rescue her.

OK (work with me here), looking for my nail clippers is a lot like looking for the black fortress. In this case, I am the prince and the nail clippers are the princess (since I am looking for them) and the location of the nail clippers is the black fortress and the powers that be who decide where the clippers should be is my wife. Though she has never seen the movie, I tease her about this. Whenever I say, "I am seeking the location of the black fortress" she knows exactly what I want. Silly me, I feel that the clippers should be kept in the same place over and over, day after day, night after night, should the need for their use arise. To her, well, the fortress must relocate daily.

Now that you have read this and know a little more of how my mind works, all the other blog entries make a little more sense, don't they?

Thanks for reading my Random Thoughts.

Jon

Guys, My Wife Actually Makes Me Use This

Greetings and welcome to today's random thought.

So I have my backup list of blog topics. Those that I can maybe drone on about for 3 paragraphs and maybe, with a pithy comment, salvage a day's blog. Other times inspiration hits me and the words flow from my fingers effortlessly. Now, if you can guess which of the 2 categories this one fits in, well then I will be impressed.

Now, I love my wife but there are things that I have to endure that, well, I shouldn't have to. Case in point, my toothpaste. I could just probably name the toothpaste and end the blog. Let me try it...
Tom's of Maine, Natural Antiplaque Tartar Control plus Whitening Toothpaste, Fennel flavored.

OK, maybe I will say a few more words. Now I am sure Tom (of Tom's of Maine) had good intentions when he thought of this product, but (and I will end with this final thought) the taste leaves a little to be desired. I realized that the taste was worse than I thought when I was brushing my teeth one evening. Evidently I was making quite a few faces (caused by the flavoring) for as I finished brushing, I noticed both my children staring at me in the mirror. When your children find that you brushing your teeth is entertaining, it may be time to rethink a few things.

Thanks for reading my Random Thoughts.

Jon

What Class Am I In Now?

Greetings and welcome to today's random thought.

Well since I have moved from Kokomo, IN to Allen, TX I have noticed a few differences between the cities (besides the ungodly heat here). One such difference is the phenomenal lack of old pick up trucks here in Allen. Kokomo is crawling with them. I have yet to see one here in Allen. This may be due to the state's emission laws (that Indiana does not have). In fact, I have yet to see any beat up truck or car any time in the 3 weeks I have been here (trust me, I have looked).

Another thing I have noticed is that every person that I have met (while shopping, eating out, going to church) appears to make significantly more money than I do (this is totally based on the cars that they drive and the house / neighborhood that they live in). I think I figured out why this is. The average income in Kokomo is <$40K and the average for Allen is pushing $80K.

In Kokomo, I fit in pretty well. In Allen, well I am white trash. By moving here, my wife and I literally LOWERED the average income for the city! We have discussed this fact and tried to convince ourselves otherwise (we were not very convincing). So to my fellow Allen residents, I apologize in advance.

At least I left my pick up truck in Indiana where it belongs.

Thanks for reading my Random Thoughts.

Jon

Everybody, Time To Wake Up

Greetings and welcome to today's random thought.

Well if I do the math right, today's blog is my 50th. Who would have thought that I had so much to say.

As you may recall, when we lived in Indiana we had a dog (Pongo). Since puppyhood, the dog slept in our room. He started out sleeping in a cage and then graduated to a pillow / blanket. He did all right for the most part but every month or so we would be awakened by him with gagging noises. Now there are lots of sounds that wake you up: the sounds of birds chirping, your alarm going off, one of your kids calling out for you, etc. But this has got to be one of the most worstest sounds to wake up to since you don't immediately know what the sound is and once you do recognize the sound, you have precious little time to do anything about it (and usually precious little light as well). For as much joy Pongo brought my family (excluding me of course), this is how I will most remember him.

When we moved to Texas, Pongo was one of the casualties but our cat, Tiger, somehow made the trip manifest. Tiger has the freedom to roam the house / apartment. Being a cat he really has no household obligations so he naps a lot during the day (consequently he is up a lot at night). By about 5 AM he gets really bored and decides that it is time to wake up the humans. He does this by scratching around in his litter box. He scratches until we get up, no matter how long it takes, sometimes for 5+ minutes. If we do not get up quick enough and he has been at his scratching for a while, the litter box takes on a different topography than it should and should the actual need to use the litter box hit Tiger, there is no litter left to damper the sound of him, um, relieving himself. This really wakes me quickly up since the sound of this resembles him relieving himself on any of our floors.

I may have to endure this for a few more weeks before I can tell which way I like better for waking up. I will tell you this, I have not been late for anything since I have moved here.

Thanks for reading my Random Thoughts.

Jon

Money, With An Attitude

Greetings and welcome to today's random thought.

Anyone who knows me knows that I am really hard to buy for when it comes to birthday or Christmas gifts. Well today I received 2 more birthday gifts. I received a book (The Five People You Meet In Heaven) and a gift certificate to Starbucks (one of my wife's favorite spots).

Books are pretty good gifts although if you are a faithful reader of this blog you will recall that I don't finish most books that I start. There is extra pressure to finish the book when it is a gift. I will have to let you know how it goes with this title.

Now at the risk of offending the person who gave me the gift certificate, I think gift certificates are questionable gifts. I have often said it is like giving money with an attitude. Basically when you give this as a gift you are saying, "Here is some money. But I am going to tell you where you have to spend it!" As you may have guessed, I get a lot of gift certificates every year (especially at Christmas time).

Another pet peeve of mine is giving a gift that you are expected to share with your wife / family. Now the Starbucks card I got was probably not meant to be shared in this manner, however based on the wife's facial expression when she saw that I had received it, I think she intends that it be shared.

Thanks to each person who gave me a gift this week. However, the wife is writing one of the Thank You cards for sure!

Thanks for reading my Random Thoughts.

Jon

And the irony continues

Greetings and welcome to today's random thought.

A few days ago I blogged about my outrageous AT&T Phone bill (I have paid it by the way. I can't lose internet! How would I blog?). Anyway, the last person I spoke with when I called in about my bill was the "dry line" DSL guy. As you may recall, this kind of DSL requires no dial tone (no actual phone service). At the end of the conversation, he offered to sell me long distance service. Ironic, eh?

As I was paying my phone / DSL bill (online), I signed up for paperless billing. There were a lot of terms and conditions but in essence I was telling them to stop sending my bill in the normal (snail) mail form and only notify me via email.

We went out to eat tonight to celebrate my birthday and on the way past the front gate we stopped by and got the mail. There was only one letter and it was from AT&T. It was a (paper) letter informing me that they had received my (online) request to stop receiving paper bills. And the irony continues.

Thanks for reading my Random Thoughts.

Jon

Back Into My "Prime"

Greetings and welcome to today's random thought.

Well today is my birthday. I was born on August 24th in the year 1969. August 24th is not a particularly exciting day. According to Wikipedia, nothing truly exciting has happened on my birthday since I have been born. Although Windows 95 was introduced on 8/24/95 (not sure if that was a truly great or truly bad day for humankind). Just today, the (former) planet Pluto was demoted to a dwarf planet (how insulting). So anyway, I have pretty much had the day all to myself my whole life without any special events happening to steal my thunder.

Today is specifically my 37th birthday. 37 is a Prime Number. I haven't been a prime number since age 31. I have always had a fascination with prime numbers. I have no idea why. I actually have told people that my birthday is a prime number (8241969) and they usually believe me (trust me, it is not as it is easily divisible by 3). There is even a contest where you could win $100,000.00 for discovering the first 10 million digit prime (everyone get out their pencils).

Anyway, nothing exciting happened today (again) and other than 1 card in the mail and 2 phone calls from relatives, it was a normal day. Well I am signing off now, I still have a few hours to find the 10 million digit prime and put 8/24 on the record books!

Thanks for reading my Random Thoughts.

Jon

A Day In Which I Did Not Mind Being A Buick Owner

Greetings and welcome to today's random thought.

I got a smokin' deal on an '02 Buick LeSabre with low miles (like 20K miles). Now, I know that the average age of a Buick owner is about the same as the average life expectancy age but I could not turn this deal down. I don't really like the way I look while driving the car and I really, really don't like the way my wife looks in the car. People look at us like we are borrowing the car from a (much older) relative. But my grandmother offered the car to me for $1 and (after I tried to talk her down to 50 cents) I accepted the offer.

Recently, the car started to have it's "check engine" light come on. Now I don't know how you could get more vague than that. Check engine? Sure, let me do that real quick, yep, its still there, now what?

We took it to a local car parts store that offers the service of telling us why the light is coming on and the code that the device spit out was also vague (something was running lean). They cleared the light thinking it was a fluke and we were good to go (for about a week when the light came back on). Well I thought it was the same error causing the light to come back on so even though I had to drive the car to Texas, I just left it on. Now, in Texas you have to have your car inspected annually and they will not even inspect it until that light is off so it was off to a mechanic.

The result was a quote for nearly $800 due to some vacuum issues. This sucks (no pun intended, ok, pun intended). But what could we do? After checking with a guy I know who I trust on car issues, I found out this was the going rate and I was mentally prepared to pay the price.

We dropped the car off and I provided the estimate and pointed out the things that I wanted done. As the service guy was entering the work into the computer, he said that he had no idea where the $800 figure came from and it would likely only be $400. This was great and I went to work (the wife dropped me off) feeling pretty good (and less upset at the car). Then the service guy called me in the afternoon and said as they were getting ready to perform the service, they discovered the real problem of why the vacuum was not acting as it should. It was a small plastic cap of some sort and would only cost me $2.

Faithful readers of this blog know that going from $800 to $400 would be a monumentally good day for me. Going from $800 to $2, well, I really can't describe it to you.

But look at it this way, in one day I spent TWICE as much in repair bills as what I paid for the car originally.

Thanks for reading my Random Thoughts.

Jon

Oh, and it gets better

Greetings and welcome to today's random thought.

So today I decided to call AT&T about my $165 bill for my $25 worth of services. They have one of those automated phone services that don't let you press 1 for this and press 2 for this. Instead you speak what you want to do and the computer system interprets what you are saying. This is actually slower since you have to speak slowly and deliberately or else the computer will ask you to repeat yourself.

Anyway, one of the prompts (a few prompts in) is what is the nature of your call. I stated (slowly and deliberately), "Complaint about bad math on bill." This did not get me anywhere (I know, you are as shocked as I was). I eventually got a person but he was only able to answer questions about the phone portion of the bill. Most of the outrageous charges were on the DSL portion of the bill. But before he would pass me on the the DSL hold line, he wanted to explain that AT&T could offer unlimited local and long distance for about twice what I pay with Vonage. I declined and explained why, he was not impressed.

I was then speaking with a lady about the DSL portion. It seems the $18 / month package that I THOUGHT I signed up for could only be redeemed if I signed up online (ironic that you have to have internet to sign up for internet). When I added the phone service (which I did online), the "add DSL" feature was having server errors so I called in and asked to have DSL added to my existing order for phone service. Evidently if you use a phone to call in for internet service, the rate is then $40 / month. I then stated that I would like to cancel my DSL service and that I would be signing right back up again for the lower rate. She then lowered my rate. Then she wanted to offer me unlimited local and long distance phone service for double what I pay now. I declined and explained why.

I then asked if it was possible to get DSL without have to sign up for local phone service (since I did not really need phone service). I was then transferred to another department that specialized in "dry line" DSL (DSL service without local phone line service). The person on the end of this conversation stated that I could get dry line DSL for $55 / month. I asked if it was higher speed than then $18 / month DSL. He said no. I then asked why anyone would sign up for this DSL service when it was not faster and cost 3 times as much. He did not have an answer for that one. Now, obviously I was calling him because I did not want phone service but you can guess how our phone conversation ended.

Yep, he offered me unlimited local and long distance phone service for double what I pay now.

Thanks for reading my Random Thoughts.

Jon

* - See Below For Details

Greetings and welcome to today's random thought.

Since we are living in an apartment, we do not have a choice for high speed internet or phone service. Well that is not entirely true. We have a choice but it is either Yes we want these services or No we don't. For phone service I can use AT&T, for internet I can use AT&T DSL.
Today I received my first AT&T bill. Now, here is what I signed up for...

1. Basic Phone Service - $7 / month
2. DSL Pro Internet Service - $18 / month

My first month's bill is $165.00. Now I majored in math in college and I checked and double checked the figures. I could not come up with $165 by using $7 and $18 (not even if you multiply them!). This means that I must have missed some fine print somewhere. Some note that said, "Oh, by the way, we are going to really, really (really) really hose you over the first month."

I opted for online bill pay so I was trying to find the fine print in my agreement * (* fine print is usually denoted by an asterisk). I could not find this. I did see that there was a Frequently Asked Questions page. Now I don't know about you, but I am guessing one of the most frequently asked questions has got to be, "How in the (insert explicative here) do you come up with 165 when adding 8 + 17?" But you know what, it was not even in the top 10 most frequently asked questions.

They must use the same type of math when figuring my bill as they do in ranking the most frequently asked questions.

Thanks for reading my Random Thoughts.

Jon

Thus saith the LORD...

Greetings and welcome to today's random thought.

First, an update: I was able to sneak into Lowe's and get the correct size screws for my "mounting" project. Also, check out the photos section for a new pic of me with a haircut. As mentioned in previous blogs, it is been over 100 degrees everyday we have been here. Hopefully the new dew will help.

Well today being Sunday, we went to church. Finding a good church quickly is a very important part of making us feel like Texas is home. We tried a smaller church last Sunday (maybe 200 people) and today we tried one that (according to the bulletin) has over 2,000 people that attend. We were both a little leery of the mega churches. I mean how in the world do you get to know anyone? I can't imagine any church in the first century that had that many people attend. There is no Biblical reference for this size church. It is not like there are a list of do's and do not's buried somewhere in a obscure book of the Bible ("And the LORD said to Hezekiah, you shall have 3 services on Sunday and one on Saturday. Each service shall consist of 500 people and the building shall be 100 cubits by...").

We showed up a few minutes early and checked out the information desk (yes, they had a desk just for new visitors). We found out the Sunday School room the 8 year old was to go to and also had to sign in the 4 year old. We were given a "receipt" with a carbon copy and had to drop one copy off with the 4 year old and keep the other in order to pick her up. It seemed a little strange really. We then had to find our Sunday School class (they have another 3 letter acronym for it there that escapes me right now).

Anyway, there were probably 15 different classes to choose from based on areas of interest and age group. Our class had about a dozen people in it and (more importantly) donuts. I was good and did not eat a donut (truth be told, I could not get the wife's attention diverted long enough to snag one). Once the class was over we had to trade in our receipt for our daughter.

It all went pretty smoothly, just like the LORD said it would be when He outlined it to Hezekiah.

Thanks for reading my Random Thoughts.

pJon

Looks and Feels (But Does Not Taste) Like Fruit

Greetings and welcome to today's random thought.

Every first and third Saturday, our apartment complex hosts a breakfast. We had limited details other than it was starting at 10:00 and that everyone who lived in the apartments was invited. We went with high hopes of meeting some new people and maybe having some nice food.

We arrived a few minutes early and the spread was impressive. There were lots of pastries (strictly store bought) and some muffins as well. There was some oatmeal and a few microwavable items. There was also a bowl of fruit consisting of pineapple, melon, honeydew, grapes and apples. I opted to impress the wife and go for the fruit. I even poured a glass of orange juice to complete the ensemble. I brought the plate back to our table and after a brief prayer by the 8 year old I proceeded to eat.

I tried the apple first and it did indeed crunch like an apple. After that, the similarities with an apple ended. The taste was...., well I really don't remember a taste per se. I ventured on to the grapes, then the other fruits. Each bite looked like a fruit I recognized and indeed felt like the fruit that it looked like. It was like someone came in and sucked all the flavor out.

This reminds me of all the deserts on a Chinese buffet. Have you ever tried the deserts there? You put them in your mouth and fully expect a "desert-like" flavor to happen. You even try a second one just to make sure your taste buds aren't defective or something. Of course I have never heard of any famous Chinese desert chefs.

Anyway, we hung around for 20 minutes and smiled and said hello to a few people. The highlight though was watching Saturday morning cartoons on the $11,000 flat panel TV. I think they took money out of the flavor budget to pay for it.

Thanks for reading my Random Thoughts.

Jon

And Now A Word From Our Sponsor

Greetings and welcome to today's random thought.

For my birthday gift to me I ordered a new computer. Well this is not entirely true, the wife and I have discussed getting a new one for a while now and were just waiting on the next smokin' Dell deal. Since my birthday is next week, we are kind of counting this as my birthday present. I got a nice 3 Ghz computer with 1 GB RAM and a 19" Flat Panel monitor for < $500. This blog is just about the first thing I have done on the new computer (and isn't that how it should be?).

The computer came with Windows XP Home Edition. I say that by faith as before the Dell splash screen was even gone from the initial boot up, I was pointing it toward the Ubuntu Live CD in the CD player. I have fell in love with Ubuntu from the minute I installed it. A note about the installation. I have installed variations of Windows (from 3.1 to XP) probably over 100 times and seldom does it take less than 45 minutes. With God as my witness the Ubuntu install took 10 minutes. I still don't believe it and I was the one who installed it!
And everything works! The first time! And it is FREE!

Since I was going to have to mess with computer wires anyway, I decided to attempt to mount a few things out of the way while I was at it. Things like the DSL Modem, the Vonage Router and the APC Surge Protector. This required some screws. Now those of you who know me know that I am not a handy man (by any stretch of the imagination).

The family and I went to Lowe's to try to find the screws I would need. Now I have this fear that secretly just inside the Lowe's entrance doors are testosterone sensors. And if you are not enough of a man, they don't let you in. I do all kinds of things to get into Lowe's. Usually riding with another man in HIS pick up truck gives you enough residual testosterone to get in. You can also "piggy back" your way in by walking real close to another man as he is walking in (you must be real careful though as walking too close could cause other obvious problems). Somehow with this Lowe's I got past the sensors.

Anyway, back to looking for screws. Holy Cow there are lots of kinds of screws! It appeared as though there were 2 basic measurements you needed to figure out: the size of the head of the screw and the length of the screw. Well the length was the easy part as I needed only 1/2" or maybe 3/4" (I settled on 3/4"). The head size (4, 6, 8, 10, etc) was a different matter. Each device I wanted to mount appeared to need a different head size. So I do what I always to at Lowe's, I guessed (wrong). That is not entirely true, of the 2 bags of screws that I bought (size 8 and size 10), one of them actually fit one device.

This is better than I usually do. I guess I will go back to Lowe's tomorrow and try to get past the sensors again.

Thanks for reading my Random Thoughts.

Jon

Those That Look Down On Us

Greetings and welcome to today's random thought.

So our apartment kitchen has cabinets (of course, duh!).  They stop about 2 1/2 feet from the ceiling which allows us plenty of room to put things on top of them for storage.  Right now, up there is our bread maker and a large bag of goodies the apartment complex gave us when we moved in.  I knew when I saw these cabinets that there would be one other thing that would be up there eventually, our cat.

The only way to get to the top of the cabinets is via the kitchen counter which he is very much aware that he is not allowed on.  Hence the only time we find him up there is when we come home from being out.  He has this look on his face as he stares down at us.  If you are a cat owner, you know this look.  I think he really thinks that we are wondering how he got up there without using the kitchen counter.

I have to wonder what he really thinks of us.  He does nothing other than wander around the house, sleep, eat, and relieve himself in the litter box.  He even watches my wife as she cleans the litter box too, like he is supervising her or something (Hey lady, you missed a piece).  He also demands food NOW when he is hungry.  He has got to be thinking that we are his servants.

I heard a comedian once talk about what aliens would think if they showed up on earth while someone was walking their dog and picking up after them.  Basically, if there are two beings and one is making a poo and the other is carrying it around for him, well who would you say is running the show.

I think that is the conclusion aliens would come to if they were at our house.

Thanks for reading my Random Thoughts.

Jon

Time to pick on the wife

Greetings and welcome to today's random thought.

From time to time every married male is forced to find something in his wife's purse.  This could take quite some time as there are more slots and pockets than any secret agent would ever need.  If you get lucky and guess the right pocket then you could get out in under 10 minutes but this seldom happens for me (faithful readers, this should not shock you).

Tonight we needed to find a faxed piece of paper that proved we had insurance.  This is needed in order to get our car inspected so that we can get license plates.  Anyway here is an inventory of items that we found that are now in the trash can.  To clarify, there are many other things in her purse as I type, these are just the ones that we threw away.

• (1) Business Card - from our realtor (as you recall she showed us the house with the hung-over people in it).
• (1) Chiropractor appointment reminder for June 14th.
• (1) Indiana voters registration card.
• (4) Punch cards.  These are like Buy 10 get 1 free.  We have 2 from kids used clothing stores and 1 each from a bread store and a frozen custard place.  All these are in Indiana and do us little good now.
• (1) Flyer for the Indianapolis Zoo.
• (1) Wal*Mart oil change sticker.
• (3) Grocery lists.  2 of them had most items crossed out.
• (1) Envelope with directions scribbled on the back.
• (4) Candy artifacts.  One mint, one Hershey wrapper, 2 used pieces of gum in pieces of paper.
• (20) Receipts. 2 for Great Clips, 4 for Wal*Mart, 2 for a pet store, 5 from restaurants (Taco Bell, Arby's, etc.), 1 from a flower shop, 1 from Target, 1 from the zoo, 1 from a bread store, 1 from the chiropractor,  1 from a (now) local grocery store and 1 from an ATM.

This was quite an impressive pile.  Alas the piece of paper we were really looking for was not there.  We did find it however on the kitchen counter.

I won't bore you with the list of things currently on the counter.

Thanks for reading my Random Thoughts.

Jon

(Sigh) All Right, We Will Sign Up for Satellite TV

Greetings and welcome to today's random thought.

Along with my $10 phone that I bought on Monday, I purchased a powered antenna.  This was suggested to us by the nice salesman who sold us our TV.  He stated that since we were a little ways from Dallas that we might not get great reception and this 50dB antenna might do the trick.  If not, we could return it for a full refund.

Well, (A) since I have a TV now and can get no channels and (B) since satellite TV service starts as $40 / month and (C) since I am cheap, I bought this $30 antenna in hopes that this would suffice.  I brought it home and hooked it up.  There was no manual so I had to wing it but there was just the power cord and the coax cable and even I could figure that out.  The TV has a built in scan feature to "search" for channels and so I hit the button with high hopes.  I don't know why I had such high hopes.  Faithful readers of this blog will testify that things seldom work out that way for me but still, maybe this time I would get lucky.

The TV "found" 11 channels but only 5 came in very clear and 1 was just static (but not as loud static as a non-channel - I guess my new TV has pretty low standards on what is and is not a channel).  Anyway, the 5 channels I got were 23 KUVN, 29 KMPX, 39 KXTX, 49 KSTR, and 55 KLDT.  Five channels was better than what I had before so I was still optimistic.  Then I checked what was on tonight...

• 23 KUVN - La Fea Más Bella - Lety es una niña dulce, recatada, tímida, romántica y muy inteligente, pero apenas atractiva. Uno hasta puede decir que es fea (translation - Ugly the Most beautiful one - Lety is sweet, hidden, timid, romantic and very intelligent, but hardly attractive a girl. One until can say that she is ugly.).
• 29 KMPX - Secretos (Secrets) - No Description Given
• 39 KXTX - Tierra de Pasiones - La historia de Valeria y Francisco, dos personas que trabajan en una viña, y las dificultades que enfrentan (translation - Land of Passions - the history of Valeria and Francisco, two people who work in a vine, and the difficulties that face.).
• 49 KSTR - El Gran Asalto - Un ladrón en libertad condicional se une a una vivaz asaltante de bancos, para ayudarle a salvar a su hijo secuestrado (translation - The Great Assault - a thief in conditional freedom is united to one vivaz attacking of banks, to help him to save his kidnapped son - This one was a movie.).
• 55 KLDT - Shepherd's Chapel - With Pastor Arnold Murray.

El Gran Asalto was not too bad of a movie.  Ah, who am I kidding, even though it was in a language I do not speak, it was still predictable.  The wife is taking the antenna back as I type and tomorrow I am signing up for satellite.

Thanks for reading my Random Thoughts.

Jon

OK, I give up, I admit the heat is getting to me!

Greetings and welcome to today's random thought.

Just an update on yesterday's blog: I did buy a cordless phone at the local Wal*Mart.  It cost $9.96 so I stayed under my $10 limit.  Now I just gotta hide it from the 4 year old.

Well this is our first official Monday in Texas and we were greeted with searing heat.  This reminds me of the other 6 days we have been here.  All have been over 100° and I mean all.  If you look at the forecast for the rest of the week you will see that they all are that hot as well.  It is beginning to wear me down.  When you walk over any stretch of pavement it feels like you are being baked.  I keep waiting for this giant spatula to come out of the sky and flip me over.  I mean, come on!  Give a Hoosier a break will ya!

Bottled water is real big down here.  By big I mean, everyone has it and everyone's bottle is big.  My wife toured a school today and all the 3rd grade students had bottled water on their desks.  I am not much of an H₂O drinker but I am quickly becoming one (plus I am excited now that I know how to make the subscript 2 in H₂O that and the fact that I am not really into dehydration).

Did I mention that it stays real hot until it is real late?  Even now at 9:10 PM it is still 95°.  When we wake up it is actually down in the 80s.  This way the water is still actually liquid when we fill up our big water bottles.

Thanks for reading my Random Thoughts.

Jon

I Really Need A New Phone

Greetings and welcome to today's random thought.

The phone we are currently using cost less than $10 and is corded.  For those of you who may not be familiar with this ancient technology, this is a phone that has the head set tethered to the base unit with a short curly cord.  In some countries, forcing your wife to use a corded phone is a means of torture and punishable by law.  We don't get a lot of phone calls so this works for us.  Ok, let me clarify...I don't get a lot of phone calls and it works for me, the wife on the other hand uses the phone more than I but I am too cheap to get her the cordless phone she deserves.  Corded phones are great though since you always know where the phone is and don't have to go on the frantic "where is the phone" search when it rings.

We used to have a cordless phone.  The 4 year old (who was less than 2 at the time) decided to conduct a science experiment and see if it could survive several minutes in the bathtub.  As you may have guessed (and as noted in our 4 year old's science log from that time frame), the phone did not survive.  Our next cordless phone was purchased for the incredible sum of $2 at a garage sale.  It worked up until a few weeks ago.

We have looked at new phones, but I just can't bring myself to spend over $10 for a phone.  I just know the 4 year old is looking to continue her experiments.

Thanks for reading my Random Thoughts.

Jon

Things Are Getting Back To "Normal"

Greetings and welcome to today's random thought.

We now have a TV (a Sanyo 30" Widescreen from Wal*Mart).  We went to a Frye's, a Best Buy and ended up at Wal*Mart to make this purchase.  No one else had regular TV's, only flat panel / LCD types.  Good ole Wal*Mart though came through with something in our price range.  It fits nicely in our built in entertainment center.  We still don't have any "channels" yet though (this is what the kids call it).  I will get around to signing us up for the dish network sometime next week.

And it rained today.  This is the first time it has rained here since we arrived.  We are in a stage 3 water alert.

And the wife is making popcorn for the first time since we have been in Texas.  This is about as normal as it gets.  She makes popcorn about 4 times a week.  I used to like popcorn, but I have ate so much that now it almost repulses me.  I mean, how much popcorn can you eat?  We pop our popcorn in coconut oil.  The few times I have actual consumed popcorn recently, I did notice that it was better tasting than air popping.  The coconut oil that we by stays in a pretty much solid state or at least it did in Indiana.  Here in Texas, it is all liquid all the time.

That is definitely not normal (but I guess it will be soon).

Thanks for reading my Random Thoughts.

Jon

Ah TV, How I Have Missed Thee

Greetings and welcome to today's random thought.

One of the things we sold in our "We ain't gonna move it" sale was our 6 year old TV.  It was a 27 incher and was still in pretty good shape.  But one Sunday while in Sunday School, we were watching a video and all 20 or so of us were straining to see this little 19 inch TV.  I immediately decided that the church would get our old set and we would just pick up a new one once we got settled in Texas.  The wife was in agreement with me and once I explained what I wanted to do with one of the Deacons of the church, we then discussed how big the plaque would be in our honor (just kidding, just mentioning our names every time it is used will suffice).

Anyway, we have been here 4 days now and have not even begun to look for another TV.  Maybe we will get around to it tomorrow.  I have not signed up for cable service yet anyway so the TV will do us little good until then except for watching movies.  Since every human strives to improve himself, I have my sites set on at least a 32 inch TV.  Also, the apartment we are in has an entertainment center built into the wall and it will hold about a 37 inch TV (if I did the math right - darn Pythagorean Theorem).  If I buy too small of a set, it's smallness will really show in the large opening where the TV should go.  If I buy a bigger set then I cannot afford to have cable service turned on.  Decisions, decisions.

But then again, maybe smaller is better, after all the bigger the set, the heavier the set and I do have to lug it up 19 stairs!

Thanks for reading my Random Thoughts.

Jon

I Can't Believe We Are Arguing About This

Greetings and welcome to today's random thought.

A long time ago when we were Hoosiers (you know, last week), all four of us were sitting at the table having breakfast.  A co-worker had given me the largest bag of M&M's I have ever seen as a going away present and the 4 year old was studying the bag with more than a passing interest.  She did not really want the treat inside the bag but was deciding what color of M&M we each would be.

Now there are six colors of M&M's in a standard bag.  There is red, orange, blue, yellow, green and brown.  However there are only four that arecharacters.  Those four were featured on the bag we had.  She decided that she was green since green was a girl.  I was ordained blue and the wife and son were named yellow and red accordingly.

The son did not appreciate being red as he appeared to have angry eyebrows.  Then the discussion ensued.  We discussed this for probably 15 minutes with each of us explaining why we should or should not be a particular color.  In the end I think we remained our original assigned colors.  Each of us then ate a few M&M's of our color (even though it was breakfast).

But if anyone asks, I am really the yellow and not the blue (just don't tell green, er, I mean my daughter).

Thanks for reading my Random Thoughts.

Jon

No really, I still have the same phone number

Greetings and welcome to today's random thought.

We switched to Vonage (VoIP) phone service last October.  We had friends who had tried it and they seemed satisfied.  It was also about $40 / month cheaper than the local phone service with the normal long distance plan.  So far we are very satisfied.  But the whole concept of VoIP confuses most people.

The phone number is not tied to your house like a normal phone line.  It is tied to the little router device that you plug into your high speed internet connection.  That means that wherever we go (including friends houses and hotels), the phone number comes with us.  This also means that even though we are in Texas, we still have just our Indiana phone number (this also makes 911 tricky since you have to tell them where you live since your phone number is of no help).

We went to buy some furniture tonight (bunk beds and a leather couch) and of course one of the fields we needed to complete was home phone.  The salesman could not understand why we were in Texas and only had an Indiana phone number.  He kept trying to ask us if it was a cell phone.  Eventually I just agreed that it was like a cell phone, even though it was not (and I have not had a cell phone for about 2 years).  He seemed satisfied with this answer.

Then we got a phone call from Arab Pest Control asking us if we still wanted service on our Indiana house.  I told the guy we had moved to Texas and I don't think he believed me (I was after all answering a local call to Kokomo, IN).  I ended up telling him that our number was still working by mistake (I think I said it was a glitch in the system).  This actually satisfied him more than the truth did.

So if any of you need to call me here in Texas, use my old phone number.  Due to a glitch in the system we will answer it with our cell phone.

Thanks for reading my Random Thoughts.

Jon

I Don't Think It Is A Sin To Lie To Help Desk People

Greetings and welcome to today's random thought.

So after hearing horror story after horror story about the DSL service provider that I am forced to use (the apartment I am in is contractually obligated to only provide service via this provider), I was not looking forward to hooking up my internet service.  To further complicate things, I do not use a Windows or Apple based PC (I like Ubuntu).  And on top of that, I had a particularly bad first day of work at the new office (oh and have I mentioned in recent blogs about my moving a ton of stuff up a flight of stairs?  I thought I had, just checking).

So, first things first, my package did arrive and was waiting for me when I got into the apartment.  This package contains the DSL modem and a (totally useless to me) CD that works only on Windows based computers.  Everything looked simple, plug this in here, that in there, whammo bammo, we are set.  Uh, no.

I called the provider last night and was told that I could not call this soon to complain about service.  Odd since it was 11 at night and it was supposed to installed that day.  I guess technically they had until midnight.  I was tired so I agreed to call back but was told to leave the modem plugged in just in case it started working (anyone out there buying this?).

I called tonight and one of the questions was what operating system I would be using.  Ubuntu Linux was surprisingly omitted from their list of selections.  I pressed on though and once I reached a real person, was told that they did not support linux and he would transfer me over to paid support.  I pleaded my case that it did not matter what kind of computer I was using, the light that was supposed to be flashing green was flashing red.  No dice.

I hung up and called again and told them I was using a Windows computer.  Now I was never asked to do anything with the computer other than turn it on.  I figured they were going to have me do a real windowsy thing like go into the control panel or something.  All they did was run a check on the line (whatever that means).  Long blog short, in 10 minutes I was up and going (and blogging).

If lying to help desk people is a sin, consider me guilty.

Thanks for reading my Random Thoughts.

Jon

How Many Times Can You Count To 19?

Greetings and welcome to today's random thought.

Well we arrived at our apartment at around 3 PM.  It was then I realized there was no way we could get close to the building and that all of our stuff would not only have to be hauled up a flight of stairs, but that it would also have to be moved 50 feet before we could get to said stairs.

Did I mention the stairs?  There are 19 of them.  I know, I counted them.  Lots of times.  Right now as I type this, my whole body is screaming in protest.  "You ain't no spring chicken!" it taunts.  "What in the world were you thinking?" it continues.  "You will pay for this tomorrow and in the coming days!"  It just won't shut up!  But along with the help of a few friends, all the stuff is safe and sound in the 2nd floor apartment.

I apologize that this blog is not more entertaining, my body won't let me type anymore.  Plus, since the DSL internet connection did not set up, I fear that the person whose internet I am "borrowing" will come out of HIS apartment door and see me.

Thanks for reading my Random Thoughts.

Jon

Oh, That Must Have Got Lost In The Move

Greetings and welcome to today's random thought.

Well we made it 600 miles in about 11 hours.  Not too bad considering one child was sick off and on the entire time.  Now we only have about 300 miles to go tomorrow and then we begin the daunting task of unloading the U-Haul.  I must say that having peeked inside the truck after today's leg of the journey, I am quite proud of the loading job that we did.  Very few things are not where I put them originally.

The wife and I went through the kid's things last night and many things did not make the cut.  I think we had 12 lawn sized trash bags full of stuff that I dragged out to the end of the driveway for the whole house and at least 2 or 3 were things from the kid's room.  Unfortunately, our kids know their toys quite well.  They have an excellent inventory system in their brains.  They can also remember who gave them what toy and when as well.  It is quite amazing.  So tomorrow evening might not be fun when they discover that many of their toys are "missing."

I am not sure what we are going to tell them exactly but it will be the truth as they see right through stories that don't line up with the facts.  They would not believe we forgot to pack anything since the house was empty this morning when we stopped by to pick up the cat.  They won't believe it fell out anywhere along the way either since at least one of them was in the follow up car in our moving caravan.  We always try to be truthful with the kids answering to a level of what we feel they can understand.

Unless of course we can think of a good lie between now and them (just kidding - but if you have one, email it to me - quick!).

Thanks for reading my Random Thoughts.

Jon

Blog Number 28

Greetings and welcome to today's random thought.

Today we took all our earthly belonging and crammed them in a 14' U-Haul.  According to the brochure, this thing holds 669 cubic feet and we have it about 2/3 full.  Doing the math, we only own 446 cubic feet of stuff.  That seems like a low number for being in my mid 30's.

As we were going through the kid's rooms and packing things up, we kept finding these small green oval rocks.  I know that they had to come from somewhere from something that was decorative but the wife and I cannot recall what it was.  The daughter evidently liked to play with these rocks (all over the house!).  Just when we were sure we would find no more, there would be another one.

This reminds me of when we first moved into this house.  The previous owner liked to stick things on the walls with thumbtacks (receipts, mail, etc.).  For the first month or so we would keep finding these things all over the place.  We kept them all and stuck them in a piece of wood in the garage.  They total over 100 and even into our fourth year in this house we would still find one from time to time.

I imagine it will be the same with the new owners, only instead of thumbtacks, it will be little green rocks.

Thanks for reading my Random Thoughts.

Jon

Not Quite What I Expected As A Going Away Party

Greetings and welcome to today's random thought.

Today was my last day at work in Kokomo, IN.  Every so often the building will have a small get together to celebrate someone relocating or retiring.  It is usually in the afternoon and there is usually cake involved.  I seldom know the person who is having the party, but I will stand in line for cake and wish them well nonetheless (after all, it is free cake).

There was no such party planned for me (I think it is because I would have had to buy the cake).  I have been in that building in one cube or another for over 6 years and I had planned on wandering around at close to quitting time and saying my goodbyes.  However, when I arrived at work, there was little or no power to most of the building.  We were told that it would be restored in about an hour.  An hour came and went and then we were told it would be noon before power was restored.  Most people went home and logged in remotely leaving the building all but empty.  By the time power was finally restored at 1 in the afternoon, there were only a half dozen people there, none of which I knew.

So my "goodbye tour" of the building never materialized and I left an empty building at around 4:30.  It was kind of sad really and a little depressing.  But given the tearful goodbyes we have had to endure over the last week as we said goodbye to other friends and family, perhaps it is for the best.

Besides, I couldn't really afford cake for the whole building.  I got to pay for the U-Haul.

Thanks for reading my Random Thoughts.

Jon

Penny ('s Worth of Catnip) For Your Thoughts?

Greetings and welcome to today's random thought.

Last night we were up until 10 PM helping people move things out of our house that they had bought from us.  The last thing we sold / moved was my son's bed.  It was a loft bed and as such had to be disassembled before we could move it.  I left it together so the new owners could see how it should look when properly assembled (the people we bought the bed off of originally did this for us however I never got the bed put together as good as they had it).  Anyway, the bed is gone.

Our cat, Tiger (or as I call him -22 since he lost all 20 claws and 2 more things), liked to jump up on that bed and lounge around.  Like most cats, he seemed to enjoy looking down on us humans.  He was not really able to make the jump to the bed as it was almost 6 feet off the ground.  He jumped onto the dresser and then onto the bed.

I walked by my son's room this morning and the cat was sitting on the edge of the dresser looking up at where the bed used to be.  Now I am not one to think that animals have any real deep thoughts (I don't think cats and dogs ponder the existential) but I really would have liked to know what was going through his mind at that point in time.  Was he thinking that we were testing his faith and that to pass the test he needed to jump as if the bed was there and if so it would magically reappear?  Perhaps he is not a great judge of time passing and he was wondering how long the bed had been gone.  Or maybe he was thinking that if he stared long enough, the bed would reappear as if he had the power to create and destroy matter (I think some cats feel they have this power).

I think maybe I am giving him to much credit and he was simply thinking, "This bed disappeared just like my claws and other things did."

Thanks for reading my Random Thoughts.

Jon

Did We Start a Trend?

Greetings and welcome to today's random thought.

Just as a quick follow up to Monday's post (7/31/06).  The grill did fit in the Yukon albeit sideways and thus some (re)assembly will be required as I guess some grills don't like being put on their sides.  But the good news is, it is not my problem anymore.  I did have to throw in the bbq set the kids got me for Father's Day though (sniff, sniff).  But this is better than being pressured into using the giant tongs, fork, and spatula to cook on the small electric stove in our new apartment.

Right after we announced the actual date we were moving, we were "one upped" by some friends of ours who announced that they were moving to Luxembourg (the country!).  Now these friends were originally a little upset that we were moving but (suprisingly) they have had a change of heart and now forgive us for "leaving" them.

Then just today, another friend told me he and his family were moving to Toledo, OH.  This would have been impressive had our other friends not raised the stakes so high.  Actually, moving to Toledo could be one upped by a lot of things, like (for instance) moving from the couch to the chair (just kidding friend, best of luck in Toledo).

One good thing about us moving though is that we will not have the option of being upset at these friends leaving us.

Thanks for reading my Random Thoughts.

Jon

Will Anyone Miss Me?

Greetings and welcome to today's random thought.

The countdown to the "move" is coming to an end.  As I am doing ordinary tasks I find myself thinking that "This is the last time I will do this for a while or ever."  For instance, at lunch today I walked down to the end of the strip mall to my favorite pawn shop.  OK, it is really the only pawn shop that I have even been in so the has to qualify it as my favorite I guess but it really is enjoyable to wander around the store.  In the middle of the shop, there is a large section devoted to used CDs.  For some reason I derive pleasure in flipping through countless stacks of CDs.  Since today might be the last time I ever go there, I purchased all the CDs that I thought I might want.  At $2 per CD I can afford to make a few mistakes.  I won't bore you with the list of CDs that I purchased (and it might even make you think less of me if I did, I will admit to buying an old Richard Marx CD though).

Anyway, as I wander around the workplace, I wonder if any of these people will miss me.  I don't really interact with anyone in the building on work related issues.  All my teammates work in other towns and I rarely see them.  I have a few people that I talk to while getting coffee or while coming in or out of the building.  All in all though, I could probably disappear without anyone knowing it.  In my own row of cubes no one is particularly social.  The guy I pass by everyday (for the last 8 months) has never said more than 5 words total to me.  I tried to strike up a conversation one day.  He has this calendar in his cube.  It has been on the same month since the day I moved into the cube.  It has a scene of a golf green with a little mist / fog in the background with the sun just rising.  I have seen this picture over 100 times now.  I tried to strike up a conversation one day and said, "So, do you really like that picture or do you just really like the month of March 2004?"  I thought it was a funny statement that deserved to be the start of a "get to know each other" conversation.  He looked at me blankly for a few seconds, glanced at the calendar, then glanced back at me and said, "the picture."  Then he turned his back to me and went back to his computer.

But he is actually 2 words ahead of the other guy in the cube across from me.  These guys and I at least have one thing in common, no one would miss them if they were gone either.

Thanks for reading my Random Thoughts.

Jon