Blog Number 124

Greetings and welcome to today's random thought.

Back around Thanksgiving (while we were "vacationing" in Kokomo) we went to the dollar theatre there and saw Man Of The Year.  It was an OK movie but before the movie we saw the preview for The Prestige and thought that we would like to see it.  While my mother is here in Texas, the wife and I had a chance to watch a movie (since we had a babysitter).  Remembering that we had seen a movie that we wanted to watch, we promptly bought tickets for The Illusionist instead.  Both are about magicians and so we did not feel too bad about being confused.

The Illusionist was great!  It was the best mistake we have made in a while.  We quickly told my mother and her boyfriend about it.  Today they were called us as they were driving around looking for something to do.  They decided to go to the movie and called us to see when The Illusionist started.  Unfortunately they would have to wait about 90 minutes before is started so they decided to watch The Prestige instead.  Once they arrived at our apartment, they were convinced we saw that movie instead.  Either way, they recommended it as well.

Life would be great if it always worked out this way.  When you were mistaken, you still had a good time or when you were not at a place at the right time everything still worked out.  So 2006 is ending on a good note at least.

Thanks for reading my Random Thoughts.

Jon

Blog Number 123

Greetings and welcome to today's random thought.

Well I am up at 5 AM on my day off.  I tend not to sleep in on any day off that I have.  First of all, the cat won't let me.  But even without the cat and his persistence that I awaken the same time each day, I would probably get up this early anyway.  Also, I fell asleep last night rather early.  I only had to work 2 days this week (Wednesday and Thursday) but they were exhausting.  Everything was an expedite and my whole team was struggling to get everything thing ordered before our last work day of 2006.  I ended up leaving around 5 PM and left all my 2006 procurement worries at the corner of Hedgecoxe and Preston on the commute home.  I am taking a different route to work next Tuesday just in case they are still there waiting for me.

I don't really but a lot of significance in the calendar changing years.  It in only important to me in that most everyone else gets enthusiastic about it (and I get a few days off that I would normally have to work).  In my mathematical mind, we are all a little screwed up since all those days were skipped on the Gregorian Calendar back in the 1500's.  So who really knows what exact day the year starts and stops?  I have a feeling that we are way off anyway.

Well it is time to make the coffee.  Maybe that will wake the wife up.  Surely she does not plan to sleep in on my day off!

Thanks for reading my Random Thoughts.

Jon

Blog Number 122

Greetings and welcome to today's random thought.

Ah, Christmas Eve!  The kids are pumped of course.  Since we are 900+ miles from our Indiana family it will be a different kind of Christmas for sure.  My cousin and her boyfriend are coming over though for Christmas breakfast.  I hope they are hungry since we are used to cooking for about 18 or so people.  Last year I personally fried 6 pounds of bacon.  This year that would be one pound for each of us (not counting the cat).  My daughter who is a big fan of bacon sees no problems with that.

Our church was having several services today.  In the morning they were having communion and this evening is a simple candlelight service.  We decided yesterday that we would opt for the 6 PM candlelight service so we have just been hanging around the house today.  Looking outside however everything looks rather blah and we are leaning toward just staying in (shhh, don't tell the baby Jesus).  We will probably read one of the accounts of the Christmas story from the Bible and then let the kids open their stockings.  Every year since we have been married, we have opened all our presents on Christmas Eve since Christmas Day was so hectic.  This year it will seem weird not to open all the presents on the Christmas Eve.

As we were drinking our coffee this morning (after reading yesterday's blog, the wife let ME have the extra cup) the kids were watching cartoons.  A commercial came on for Nick Jr magazine and upon the completion of the commercial the daughter came right over and told us that we need only "pick up the phone and call" and we could get her this magazine.  Folks, this is proof positive that advertising works.  The best an ad can hope for is that the kid get up immediately, seek out a parent, and not only ask for the gift but give them detailed instructions on how to obtain it.

I think that might be the end of the Nick Jr channel for us.

Thanks for reading my Random Thoughts.

Jon

Blog Number 121

Greetings and welcome to today's random thought.

Well since today was Saturday, there was a battle.  There is a battle each Saturday.  This battle does not take place on any other day of the week except Saturday.  This battle is referred to as "The Battle for the Last Cup of Coffee."

Our coffee maker "supposedly" makes 10 cups of coffee.  If you read the fine print, their "cup" is really 5 ounces.  So when we pour what I call a "cup" of coffee, we end up with about 10 ounces (or about 2 "cups" of coffee).  This means that after we each have had 2 cups of coffee (or 4 if you go by the coffee maker's definition of cup) there is only enough for 1 more cup.  Monday through Friday this is not an issue.  I willingly surrender this final cup to the wife since there is free coffee all day long at my workplace.  Sunday is not really an issue either since the church we are now attending has coffee as well.

Saturday however is another matter altogether.  We have our arguments as to why each of us is more deserving of the final cup on Saturdays.

**The wife's points**

1. I get the last cup every other day of the week, so to remain consistent I should get it
2. I need it to make through a day with the kids AND YOU
3. Hey look over there (then she sneaks in the kitchen and pours the last cup into her mug)

**My points**

1. My body needs more coffee than yours since I drink it all day long at work.  Limiting me to 2 cups when I am used to 6 is cruel and unusual punishment
2. Saturday is my day off and I deserve to relax with a 3rd cup of coffee
3. If you think about this objectively, you will see...HEY YOU TOOK THE 3RD CUP!

Since I have not won this battle in about 10 weeks, it might not (by definition) actually be a battle.  I think if it were really a battle, I would at least have a shot at winning every once in a while.

Thanks for reading my Random Thoughts.

Jon

Blog Number 120

Greetings and welcome to today's random thought.

Well once again my wife has attempted to seriously injure me.  You may recall the LAST TIME that she tried.  This time she was a little more sneaky.

The son had $5 burning in his pocket last night and decided he would spend it on ice cream for the whole family.  He convinced the wife to drive him to the grocery store where he bought some Blue Bunny brand vanilla and a 2 liter of Coke.  Since he is still pumped about having programmed the button in the Buick to open the gate, he convinced the wife to take that car to the store.  Here is where her plan to hurt me started.

She moved the driver's seat forward.  This is understandable as I have much longer legs than her.  However, she neglected to put the seat BACK to its original position.  So when I attempted to get into my car this morning, I nearly killed myself since my knees collided with the steering wheel.  She used to do this all the time in my Cavalier.  So much so that I got used to moving the seat back before I got into the car.  However, she seldom drives the Buick so I was not prepared.

I survived of course.  But what is it about people that makes them forget to put things back the way they were when the got them?  Who knows?  From now on though, she can drive her van and leave my seat alone!

Thanks for reading my Random Thoughts.

Jon

Blog Number 119

Greetings and welcome to today's random thought.

The son is pumped.  He has waiting for the weekend all week.  We were going to do a very exciting thing this weekend.  You will never guess this in 1,000 years.  But first, a little background.

My beloved Buick has 3 programmable buttons that allow you to program them to open your garage doors.  This was nice back in Indiana as we actually had 3 garage doors.  The son (for some reason) really found this fascinating.  He programmed all 3 buttons in both vehicles (our Montana also has 3 buttons).  However, since we have moved to an apartment and are not paying the extra $90 / month that a garage would cost us, the buttons are all but useless except when the son looks at them, sighs, and remembers how they used to be useful.

We do have a little key fob like device that opens the gate to the apartment complex and a few weeks ago the son had an idea.  He hypothesized that we could program the Buick and Montana buttons to open the gate.  I arrived home one day a few weeks ago to a boy with a smile that covered his whole face.  He announced that he had successfully programmed one of the buttons in the Montana to open the gate.  He then started bugging me as to when we might be able to program the Buick in the same manner.  And by bugging, I mean pestering.  And by pestering I mean annoying (harassing, tormenting, hounding, etc. - you get the point).  Well today was the day.

He now has this satisfying smile on his face as if he has conquered a goal in life.  He has also instructed me that I am to use that button from this point forward.  He even offered to hold on to the key fob for me to ensure I follow his instructions.

Ah, to be 8 again and have this be your only care in the world.

Thanks for reading my Random Thoughts.

Jon

Blog Number 118

Greetings and welcome to today's random thought.

Today is my wife's birthday.  I am sure she won't mind me telling you that she is now 32.  Her birthday has been great.  It started at 2:30 AM with our daughter complaining of an ear ache.  For a five year old, she has a pretty high pain tolerance so the fact that she was crying means it really hurt.  I went out in search of Children's Tylenol and the wife stayed home celebrating her birthday early.  The pain medicine worked for a few hours and then we needed to give her another dose.  My wife's next fun birthday task was to take the daughter to the walk in clinic to see a doctor that we had never met before.  Then, with the daughter almost in hysterics, she got to go to a pharmacy and wait for a prescription.  She then got to spend the day nursing a sick child.  When I got home, dinner was not started.  We decided on pasta but did not have any sauce (today was grocery day, this was SUPPOSED to be her birthday chore).  I ran to the store and when I got back the wife was already in her pajamas (or, as I call it, "frumpwear" - but that is another blog altogether).  I ended up with bath duty (it was my turn) and then we all crashed on the couch.  By 7 PM, the wife was asleep.  All in all, a real sucky birthday.

My day was a different kind of sucky.  More insanity in procurement in the month of December.  Right before bath time, I was reading the Dr. Seuss book, "Hop on Pop!"  There is a line in it that goes...

SAD
DAD
BAD
HAD

Dad is sad.
Very, very sad.
He had a bad day.
What a day Dad had!

I paused on that page and reflected on how well it applied not just for my day, but for the entire family's (especially the wife's and daughter's).  Well, the kids are now asleep (the daughter fell asleep on me on the couch).  I hope she makes it through the night and we can start tomorrow off on a better note.  We do have a Christmas party to go to.  The guy's house we are going to has like a 100 inch projection TV and the Cowboys are playing tomorrow night the same time as the party.  Here's to hoping tomorrow is better.

Thanks for reading my Random Thoughts.

Jon

Blog Number 117

Greetings and welcome to today's random thought.

OK, one last follow up on the Secret Santa.  I received one more gift today.  It was a $20 gift certificate to Blockbuster.  I will have to recant everything I said a few blogs ago!

I showed up at the United States Post Office (zip code 75013) this morning at about 10:50.  I had an appointment to sign up for my passport for 11:00.  When I arrived there was quite a line of people.  Almost all of them had boxes of one sort or another.  Many of the boxes were quite large as well.  I decided to stand in line and then if I was not close to the front at around 11:00 I would cut in line and mention that I had an appointment.  10 minutes went by and I was still a long way from the front so I stepped up and interrupted a man with 2 large boxes ad asked the clerk what I need to do since I had an appointment.  He told me I should wait in line.

Now I had a few minutes to think about this concept.  Make an appointment, then still have to stand in line.  This just seems odd to me conceptually.  It is not really like I have a choice.  I want to leave the country in January and I have to have a passport.  So, I waited in line.  After I got to the front of the line, everything went very smoothly.  It helped that I had done my research and had the forms completed and had all the documentation that is required.  15 minutes later I was out the door and on my way to work.

We had a small get together to reveal our Secret Santas in the afternoon.  There were about 15 of us and we went around the room explaining what our gifts were and guessing who we thought had given us the gift.  I really had no clue who to guess.  I really don't know many of these people very well so I took a shot in the dark and was wrong.  The person that I bought for guessed me and I could tell she was less than impressed with the gift selection.  She admitted to giving away one gift and then researching what another gift might fetch on eBay.  Oh well, I was not going for quality of gift, I was trying to give her a story to tell for years to come.  Base on her reaction, I think she will not have fond memories but I don't think she will forget me!

Tonight we went to a home schoolers monthly meeting.  There was a guest speaker there who spoke for about an hour on why we should teach history and how to interpret history books based on what agenda the author may have.  It was actually quite interesting (shhh, don't tell the wife that I liked it, I kinda complained that I had to go in the first place).  The son, on the other hand, was bored out of his skull.  The daughter fell asleep 5 minutes in and was out for the entire hour.  All in all (other than getting home kind of late) it was a good night.  It was a good day as well and even though I logged back in to work when I arrived back home after 9, it has not been a bad day.

I did want to mention one more update.  All of a sudden my Buick's windows have mysteriously started working again.  I just happed to forget that they did not work and tried them again the other day.  At first only the passenger side was working and then all of a sudden, the driver's side worked too.  This is probably a bad thing though, I think I would rather have them not working then working intermittently.  Well, I will be sure to keep you posted.

The wife's birthday is tomorrow.  I wonder if she would like to have a Blockbuster gift card for a present?

Thanks for reading my Random Thoughts.

Jon

Blog Number 116

Greetings and welcome to today's random thought.

Well first a follow up.  I was pleasantly surprised today when my Secret Santa struck again.  This means that the pencil with the gingerbread man eraser was NOT my 3rd gift after all!  I received a small gift bag containing 2 different kinds of gourmet coffee and some hot chocolate mix.  This has restored my faith in the season again.  I am not saying that this feeling will last, I am just saying that I am OK for now.

I actually got to work early this morning.  I arrived at around 7:20 with high hopes of leaving at a decent hour.  I also arrived HOME at 7:20 (PM).  So much for that.  Today was just insane.  There was no end to the phone calls, meetings, instant messages and emails.  All wanting a piece of my time or wanting me to offer a piece of one of my team member's time.  Everything was an escalate / expedite (which means that nothing was).  I did what I could but given the level of workload and stress lately, I fear I will need to put some of my team on suicide watch (myself included).  At times today, death seemed like it might be a welcome relief.

Tomorrow AM I get to go to the United States Post Office and apply for a passport since I plan on going on a cruise ealry next year with the wife to celebrate our 10 year wedding anniversary.  I am preparing myself for the worst.  I already know that I will have to pay the insane fee for the expedite service.  The "normal" service is like 6 weeks.  I have no idea how much faster the expedite service is or how much time the extra $100 will save me in the process.  It seems like a scam to me.

Maybe I need to adopt this method in my day job.  Make the "normal" process so drawn out that everyone wants the expedite service.  And then charge $100 for it as well.  Hmmmm.

Thanks for reading my Random Thoughts.

Jon

Blog Number 115

Greetings and welcome to today's random thought.

I was asked a few weeks ago if I wanted to join the Secret Santa drawing at work.  The rules were pretty simple.  You draw a name from a hat and sometime between December 4th and December 14th you presented the person whose name you drew with 3 gifts that were to total no more than $25.  Around lunchtime on the 14th, there would be a meeting where you revealed your identity to the person you bought presents for.  Easy, peasy.

The person's name that I drew was a lady I had only met once in person and really in my 6 years of employment had not had a chance to interact with on more than a few occasions.  So I had to hope for the best and trust this person would get my sense of humor or worse case scenario, that they would not be offended by it.  I tried to avoid buying the "easy" gifts like candy.  I wanted to buy stuff that even if they were not enjoyed, they would be remembered.  So I bought the following...

1. 2007 Calendar featuring nature pictures containing only Owls
2. A pair of Christmas CDs performed by Barry Manilow and Willie Nelson
3. A used copy of Tolstoy's, "War And Peace"

Can't you feel the Spirit of Christmas?  Anyway, I have delivered these gifts over the last few days to this person's cube.  I had high hopes that I would make a new friend or at least have something to say when I see her in the office.

This was all crushed today.  I actually needed her help on an issue that had to be settled before year end so I headed over to her cubicle.  I noticed that my CDs were laying there against her cube wall but I did not see the calendar or book.  After I finished getting the answers I needed from her I talked to the guy who sat in the cube next to her on another matter.  There was the Owl Calendar!  Her Secret Santa was not even revealed yet and she had already given away my gift!  I felt (and still feel) a little betrayed.

I semi-sulked back to my desk.  My Secret Santa (the person who had drawn my name) had taken the easy way out with the first 2 gifts.  For the first gift I had received a foot tall plastic cylinder containing mini Reece's Peanut Butter Cups (this screamed of "end of the grocery aisle on sale for $1").  For the second gift I had received a small stuffed animal that was holding and even smaller glass jar that also contained candy (this screamed of "this is what I got last year from my Secret Santa").  Given we had a $25 limit, I had really high hopes for my 3rd gift.  I figured there was like $20 left in the budget.  Sitting on my desk when I got back was my 3rd gift.  3 Hershey's Kisses, a small candy cane and a pencil with a fancy eraser.  I am guessing my Secret Santa spent $5 on me and about 5 minutes of thought.  The whole experience (both giving and getting) has really sucked.

Next year I am going to tell people I am Jewish.

Thanks for reading my Random Thoughts.

Jon

Blog Number 114

Greetings and welcome to today's random thought.

I have been putting a lot of hours in at work lately.  It is probably something like 60 hours if you count the work I do at home most evenings and some weekends.  This time of year is just busy and there is nothing really that can be done.  You suck it up, work more, and wait for January when things will slow down.  This busy time is further complicated by people choosing to take vacation time as well further complicating things.  I remember this time last year telling my (then) team leader that NEXT year, no one should get any vacation in December.  So much for that idea.  Plus, now I am the team leader (for one whole week now) and I admit I would not have the heart (or guts) to tell my teammates that they had to work most of the holidays.  So I just work more to try to pick up the slack.  Actually, my team is great in this aspect.  When I log in at night or over the weekend, there are usually several people working as well.  Given that we are salaried and do not get paid any overtime, this says a lot of the team work ethic.

Anyway, tonight I got home about 5:30 to discover that there was no dinner started.  I am 3 months shy of my 10 year wedding anniversary so I know from experience that this means that we are going out to eat at a restaurant of (not) my choosing.  We ended up going to Chili's and both kids wanted (very badly) to sit by daddy (maybe I am working too much).  Fortunately we got a big booth and there was plenty of room on my side of the table for both kids.  Before we got seated though, we were waiting by the front door.  There were 2 people immediately in front of us and they appeared to me mother and teenage daughter.  As they were being led to their seat, I noticed the teenage daughter grab a children's menu and a crayon from the slot by the front desk.  This girl had to be 15 years old!  Does she need to color THAT badly?  They sat close to the front and sure enough, right when they sat down she opened the menu up and began to color!

Anyway, we did our typical "order 2 adult dinners and 2 extra plates" and shared some burgers and (way too many) fries.  We also did our favorite appetizer (the Triple Play).  The southwestern eggrolls are just toooooo good!  With approximately a 19% tip, the bill came to $30.00.  The food did take quite a while to come but since I was sitting next to both kids, I got a chance to color.

Thanks for reading my Random Thoughts.

Jon

Blog Number 113

Greetings and welcome to today's random thought.

I shall forever remember this day.  Today my son has made me proud.  He actual said the words, "Let's ask Mr. Google."

I am constantly asked questions at work, at home, at church, etc.  Mr. Google has all the answers but for years, only I and precious few others know this it seems.  For years at work when someone would call, email or IM me with a technical question I would simply "Google" for the answer and then repeat that answer.  Everyone assumed I knew everything (and I did little to discourage this concept).  Eventually, I got tired of all the questions and adopted the motto, "Before you ask me, ask Mr. Google."  This is similar to another motto I adopted back when Windows 95 came out - "Don't call me until you have rebooted."  Both of these mottos have greatly reduced the number of questions asked of me.

But today, today faithful readers, my son has truly grasped this concept.  Tonight the wife was making spaghetti and garlic bread.  The garlic bread did not come from the freezer section.  She actually took some sourdough bread we bought at a local cafe and pressed fresh garlic onto it, threw on a little butter and heated it up in the oven.  Five minutes later she had this disappointed look on her face and stated that we would not be having garlic bread this evening as it had turned green on the bread.  She assumed that there was something wrong with the garlic.  Then my son stated with confidence that before we threw out the garlic bread, we should ask Mr. Google.

We searched for "garlic turned green cook" and voila - the second link gave us our answer.  It turns out that this is a reaction to an acid and is harmless to eat.

As I ate my spaghetti and enjoyed my garlic bread, I was beaming with pride.  Thank you Mr. Google.
Thanks for reading my Random Thoughts.

Jon

Blog Number 112

Greetings and welcome to today's random thought.

Well today my daughter turned five.  This was announced at about 6:45 AM when she bounced from bed and began telling everyone that THE DAY had arrived (whether they were awake or not).

We were at church this AM for the first time in a few weeks since we have been on vacation.  The choir and band really ripped through some classic Christmas hymns with gusto.  One person on stage that caught my attention was a percussionist.  There is a drummer of course but this other person handles mostly the tambourine and the shaker.  I have noticed her before only because I wanted to know where that sound was coming from since I knew it was not the normal drummer.  This morning though, I noticed she was was also chewing gum.  As I watched her shake the shaker and chew her gum I noticed that she was not chewing to the beat.  I began to wonder if it is harder to chew on beat or not on beat.  I would think that it would be hard NOT to be on beat, who knows?  If that is the case, she is very talented.

My mother is in town until Monday and she stayed home and made dinner (meatloaf, cheese potatoes, corn, green bean casserole, biscuits, and cherry pie).  We then watched out poor Indianapolis Colts get beat on a 60 yard field goal.  Then it was time to open presents which consisted of baby clothes, a Snow White wig, and a puzzle.  Also in the gift bag was a tiara with the words "Birthday Girl" on it.  However, she announced for the rest of the day that she was queen.  We attempted to use logic (never a good idea with a 5 year old) and told her that since her mother was still alive, she could not be queen so she must be the princess.  Based on the fact that she still claimed her queenhood, she must have been pretending my wife was dead.

All in all, it was a great day (except for the Colts losing).  This did not seem to effect the queen's day though.

Thanks for reading my Random Thoughts.

Jon

Blog Number 111

Greetings and welcome to today's random thought.

OK, so I have to mention THIS story where a judge ruled that the US paper money is unfair to the blind and ordered that the US Treasury Dept. begin working on a solution within 30 days.  I don't really have a comment, just thought you'd like to know that if the money changes format later, you heard it here first.

Our decoder box for our satellite TV ceased working Monday afternoon.  It just would not turn on.  Other items plugged into the same power strip continued to function so it was not the power outlet.  We unplugged it from the strip and then directly into the wall and it still did not work so it is not the power strip.  That is the extent of my trouble shooting techniques.  I called AT&T Home Entertainment to plead my case.  I waited on hold for about 10 minutes and 5 seconds after a real person picked up, I was promptly cut off.  I did not have 10 more minutes to wait on hold so I just called later Monday night.  I got right through with no wait time and they agreed that there was no other trouble shooting that could really be done and promised to send someone out the next day.

They gave me the incredibly precise timeframe of 8 AM to 5 PM for the repairman to visit.  The wife had to hang around the apartment until they showed.  Fortunately they came around noon so her whole day was not shot.  The repairman did the same thing I did in trouble shooting but he did ask us if there was a light switch that might control power to that outlet.  This is a little crazy since we had already confirmed that the other items plugged into the SAME power strip were functioning fine.  So either this guy was asking us if we had rewired the house / power strip so that the light switch controlled INDIVIDUAL plugs on a store bought power strip OR he was a moron.

I will leave it up to you to decide for yourselves.  He did replace the decoder free of charge and we are back in business so all’s well that ends well I guess.

Thanks for reading my Random Thoughts.

Jon

Blog Number 110

Greetings and welcome to today's random thought.

First of all, a correction to my last post: the hotel was really a Red Roof Inn and not a Motel 6.  There, I feel better having gotten that off of my chest.

The trip home was amazingly uneventful (just how I like it).  Although there is a Shell station in Oklahoma that claims it has clean restrooms (either their definition of "clean" is different than mine or they need to take down their sign).  We arrived home on Sunday at about 2:30 in the afternoon, quickly unpacked and then headed out for some lunch since we had not eaten since breakfast (410 miles ago).  We hopped in the Buick (since we were a little sick of being in the minivan) and headed to our favorite pizza joint.  Everything was going fine until I tried to lower the windows.  Both the front driver's side and passenger's side windows would not work.  The back windows functioned properly though so I am guessing it is a fuse.  At this point in time I was not really motivated to fix the window problem.

This is not a big deal since I do not roll the windows down for any reason (or so I thought).  I arrived at work Monday and realized that I do indeed use that window since I need to flash my badge to get into the parking lot.  The badge is magnetic so it must come close to the reader in order to raise the gate to allow my car to go through.  I rolled the back window down and reached back and was able to get in just fine and then put the window issue back onto the back burner.  At this point in time I was not really motivated to fix the window problem.

Today I repeated the back window technique and so all was well.  Then I remembered that I had to drive to Ft Worth today for a meeting.  This requires paying a toll which would require me to roll my window down in order to throw change into the receptacle.  I really could not roll the back window down since I needed to throw 3 quarters and using the back window would require more throwing skills than my left arm had.  So I had to open the door and throw the change in that way.  There were 4 spots that require you to stop and pay a toll.  Each way.  So 8 times today I had to open my door and throw 3 quarters out.

At this point in time I was really motivated to fix the window problem.  I will keep you posted.

Thanks for reading my Random Thoughts.

Jon

Blog Number 109

Greetings and welcome to today's random thought.

It is early Saturday morning and we have a 10 hour drive ahead of us.  By "us" I mean the wife, the daughter, and I.  The son is staying with my mother for a few more days and then he gets to take his first airplane ride back to Texas with her.  He is pumped (even more so of having Grandma all to himself for a few days).

We are going to stop today in Springfield, MO, which is just past the halfway point home.  Missouri is not mapped properly to allow us to stop exactly half way home (the nerve of that state not to have a properly sized town 465 miles from Kokomo!).  We have reservations at a Motel 6 for around $43.  This is pretty cheap for a motel so I am not getting my hopes up for a pleasant stay although all the reviews at Hotels.com seemed to indicate it was a nice hotel.  The Motel 6 chain allows pets at no extra charge and since I could not talk the wife into leaving the cat in Kokomo....

The Hotels.com website was sketchy on information about this hotel, specifically if they allowed pets or if there was an extra charge for pets.  A call to the Hotels.com reservation line was of no help either so I looked up the local number and called the motel direct.  I avoided the option for reservations and waited for a local person to pick up and asked if pets were allowed.  The lady on the other end of the line said yes.  I then stated that I would be bringing a 600 lb. elephant with me (I like to pick on people, it is a weakness).  Without missing a beat she said that she could accommodate us.  I liked this lady so even though it was a few more dollars to reserve through her than the Hotels.com website, I made the reservation.  She seemed to understand my sense of humor.  Most people need about 6 months of exposure to it before they can tell when I am kidding or serious.

We were going through the normal stuff: what is our arrival date, departure date, number of adults, etc.  I then stated that we would have a 4 year old with us.  Again, without missing a beat, she said in a professional voice, "I am sorry sir, we don't allow children."

This is already my favorite hotel, and I haven't even been there yet!  I will let you know how it goes later.

Thanks for reading my Random Thoughts.

Jon

Blog Number 108

Greetings and welcome to today's random thought.

Well I am full and I have not eaten in about 6 hours so it was a successful Thanksgiving.

The daughter lost her first tooth last night.  She will be 5 years old in 10 days.  She does not quite get the concept of losing her teeth.  Her mother has always told her her that if she does not brush her teeth properly, then they will fall out.  So ever since the tooth started to loosen, she has felt the need to do a better job of brushing her teeth.  She also has been told that everyone loses their baby teeth.  She (logically) thought that since she is not a baby any longer, this does not apply to her.  My son thinks / thought this way as well.  The normal excuses that work on most kids do not work on them.  Instead of the tooth fairy, we told the son (and now the daughter) that the tooth will just magically change into money overnight.  The son bought this for a while but one night as I was coming in to trade the tooth for money, he heard me come in so I quickly told him I was checking to see if the tooth had "changed" yet.

We are staying at my mother's house and the kids are sleeping in the same room.  The daughter is excited about the "tooth to money" change and the son is still convinced that WE are the ones responsible for the metamorphosis.  Realistically I know that this cannot go on forever but the look on his face convinces me that he is not 100% sure that his hypothesis is correct.

Along with not doing the tooth fairy, we don't do Santa Clause either.  It is not that we are against Santa Clause, it is just something we don't talk about.  So the daughter has no idea who Santa is or what he does.  On the ride home from the Thanksgiving dinner today she noted that she saw Santa the other day.  She said that he could fly on his skateboard (instead of sleigh), that he was pulled by mooses (her plural of moose)..  As the wife and I tried not to laugh too hard, we asked her where Santa lived.  With a straight face she replied, "the mall."

Well, I have to go into her room now and make the "tooth to money"change.  Wish me luck.

Thanks for reading my Random Thoughts.

Jon

Blog Number 107

Greetings and welcome to today's random thought.

Well I am still on vacation which means of course that we must eat out.  A vacation is not a vacation without spending 10 times on food compared to what you would normally at home (you can look this fact up, search for "qualification of vacation: food budget").  This of course means that those 10 pounds I worked hard to get off will not find their way back in no time.  Oh well.

Lunch was at McAlister's which is a deli like restaurant.  So for about $10 I got $1 worth of chicken on standard wheat bread with some cheese, a cup of French onion soup and a few glasses of their famous tea.  I am not sure what makes their tea so famous.  It tastes like normal brewed tea.  Maybe it is famous for not being that famous.  Maybe it is famous since they claim it is famous and then everyone who orders it realizes how mediocre it is, and therefore they remember that.  Who knows.

At McAlister's, you place your order and then get a little plastic number to put at the end of your table and then they bring your food out to you.  This means that there are a lot of McAlister employees wandering about.  This means that you get asked, "Is everything OK?" about 2 dozen times during your lunch.  They also constantly want to take away your plate if you are done with it.  If you have a few chips left and are just eating them slowly, you get asked this a lot.  One of the people that I had lunch with went to the restroom toward the end of the meal and had a few tortilla chips left.  She was gone maybe 5 minutes and 3 separate employees asked if they could remove the plate (this is bad though since I had 4 in the pool).

This got me thinking about Wickes Furniture.  Though I have never been to Wickes, I have been to their website in the past.  They have this really cool thing where you can pick up a little sign to carry with you throughout the store.  The sign basically says "Just Looking" so that no sales people will bother you while you look at furniture.  What a concept!  I like it!  I think all shopping should be and led this way.  Imagine how much more fun shopping for cars would be?  Or TVs?  Or anything?

Imagine if McAlister's adopted this concept?  I think I will just make my own sign for my next visit.  "No, I am not done with my plate!"

Thanks for reading my Random Thoughts.

Jon

Blog Number 106

Greetings and welcome to today's random thought.

Well it is day 4 of the "vacation" and all is going well.  We made the 932 mile trip in 14 hours and 56 minutes with only one small hiccup in traffic near Indianapolis.  The kids did great on the ride though the daughter was convinced we were never going to get out of Missouri (it was 1/3 of our trip).  Tiger (our cat) made the trip just fine.  The wife claimed that he would calm down and stop meowing after 30 miles.  75 miles later, he was still a little upset to be in a moving car.  But once he found my lap (while I was driving) he calmed down.  I cannot say that I have ever seen a cat in a car (like you would normally see dogs).  I am sure we got a few looks from fellow highway travellers when they glanced over at us and saw a cat looking back at them.  Tiger is now staying at the mother-in-law's house so at least I get a vacation from him.

We were able to attend our "old" church this morning.  The wife got to play her French horn and I got to sing "So You Wanna Go Back To Egypt" (an old Keith Green tune) with the praise and worship band during the offering.  This was followed by an excellent sermon from Exodus.  Sadly though, the Indianapolis Colts just lost to the Dallas Cowboys.  This makes me glad I am not in Texas and working tomorrow morning as I am sure I would never hear the end of it.  Tomorrow I am having lunch with some local co-workers.  I do have a little but of work to do while I am on vacation (something came up so it could not be avoided).  This does not bother me really (just don't tell my manager!).

It is still a strange concept to me to be vacationing in Kokomo, IN.  I still cannot wrap my head around the idea.  I need to do some vacation-like activities to make it seem more real I guess.  However, there is really nothing to do here in Kokomo per se.  And nothing new had been opened since we left 3 1/2 months ago (though at least one of our favorites restaurants has closed).  The kids are having a blast though since they are near the grandmas again (who are desperately trying to make up in the spoiling department).

I am sorry I don't have a funny ending for this blog.  Hey, I am on vacation!

Thanks for reading my Random Thoughts.

Jon

Blog Number 105

Greetings and welcome to today's random thought.

‘Twas the night before the big trip and all through the house
There was no one more crazy than the woman, my spouse
Though the suitcases were packed by the door with care
Don't get in her way, I am telling you, Beware!

The day before a big trip is the worse.  So much to do, so little time to do it.  We (e.g. the wife) have to do one last load of laundry so we can pack.  We (e.g. the wife) have to make sure the fridge is cleaned out.  Etc., etc., etc..

And then there is "The Dread".  The Dread is for the 900+ miles we will be driving tomorrow.  We don't have a DVD player in the van so the time will be passed solely on the creativity of yours truly to entertain the children (and, to a certain extent, the wife).  As the kids get older, they become a more demanding audience.  The normal stuff stops working.  I have to admit, I am feeling the pressure (The Dread).  I don't know what I am going to do but hopefully inspiration will hit by the time we hit Oklahoma.

By this time tomorrow though (10:30 PM Eastern Time), it will all be behind us and we will have fun family memories to remember for years to come.  At least that is what I keep telling myself when The Dread starts to sneak up on me again.  Wish me luck.

Thanks for reading my Random Thoughts.

Jon

Blog Number 104

Greetings and welcome to today's random thought.

Well in 2 days we are heading back to Kokomo, IN, for vacation.  It seems very odd to me to be vacationing in a town that (up until 3 1/2 months ago) I have lived in all my life.  I am trying to figure out what I am going to do with the week or so that I am there.  I am sure I will find something to fill my time.  I don't have anywhere in particular that I want to visit.  No favorite restaurants that I am missing, or stores that I want to shop come to mind.  I am going to try to return my Indiana license plates for a partial refund and maybe close my bank account since I no longer need it.  All this sounds real exciting to you I am sure.

We went to Kroger's the other day.  I am not a big fan of Kroger's or Marsh really but the wife wanted to go there so off we went.  This store is a "signature" store.  Signature stores must be really "in" down here as there are several signature Wal-Mart stores as well.  This Kroger has a Starbuck's inside of it.  As we rounded the turn at the end of an aisle, the daughter noticed something.  Upon further inspection there was a day care center inside the Kroger store and several toddlers were in there along with an older lady.  There was a TV for watching DVDs and 2 TVs for playing video games (Nintendo Game Cubes I think).  Wow!  So you can come to grocery shop, drop off your kids and then sip a latte, all while leisurely filling your cart with food.

Kokomo does not have any signature stores.  Nothing is super flashy or unique about your shopping experience.  Just get in, get your stuff, and get out.  Now that I can look forward to.

Thanks for reading my Random Thoughts.

Jon

Blog Number 103

Greetings and welcome to today's random thought.

Monday morning it was quite foggy here.  Visibility was probably only a few hundred feet as I was heading out of the apartment's parking lot and off to work.  I was extra careful when pulling out onto the road and I made sure my lights were on so other cars could see me.

Everything was going fine until I was about 5 minutes from work.  It was then that my cell phone rang.  I do not keep my cell phone near me on the way to work.  I keep it in my laptop carrying case.  The case has a nice compartment inside one of the outside pockets that is made to hold a cell phone so I dutifully keep it there.  I just got a new carrying case as I was able to convince my manager at work that I needed a new one.  Anyway, that was where the cell phone was.  The carrying case was in the back seat directly behind me.  I simply open the driver's side back door of my Buick and put it in there before heading to or from work.  I know of only two people that have my cell phone number and they are very unlikely to call me on my way to work.

So anyway, the phone is ringing, the phone is in the carrying case, the carrying case is in the back seat directly behind me.  Oh and did I mention that there was fog not to mention the normal traffic that is on the 6 lane road that I take to work?  Since only my mother and my wife know my cell phone number and since they know that I would be driving to work, I assumend that whatever they wanted to tell me was very important.  I reached back and grabbed the carrying case (all the while trying not to veer out of my lane).  By the time I got the case into the front seat, the phone had stopped ringing.  Once I had the outer pocket open and the cell phone out, I could see that it was my wife who called.

Now, I am not a fan of people talking on cell phones while they drive, let alone while in heavy morning traffic, (and did I mention the fog?  I thought I did) but the wife would not call me if it wasn't important.  I carefully dialed her number and thankfully stayed in my lane while doing so.  She answered and I asked her what she wanted.

She wanted to know if the fog was hard to drive in.  Next time, I am not answering the phone.

Thanks for reading my Random Thoughts.

Jon

Blog Number 102

Greetings and welcome to today's random thought.

First things first, I apologize for the delay between postings.  I still have random thoughts, I just haven't taken the time to blog about them.

So I am still making use of the "extra" hour my body seems to have each morning since it has not yet adjusted to "falling back" an hour.  I have faithfully gotten up each weekday morning at 4:30 and headed down to the workout room that our apartment has for tenants use.  This makes my wife very happy.  I have only seen two people in the workout room thus far.  For the sake of this blog, let's call them "Little Blonde" and "Pony Tail."  I will explain the names in a little bit.

I try to work out for 30 minutes splitting my time between the exercise bike and the treadmill.  When I arrive each morning, Little Blonde is already there and using one of the two treadmills.  The workout room has two televisions and both are on different channels.  One is muted, one is really, really loud.  Initially I gave LB (Little Blonde) the benefit of the doubt since the treadmill is loud, it makes sense that the TV needs to be loud.  Upon further inspection, I noticed that she was also wearing headphones.  So she has the TV set so loud as to hear it over the treadmill AND her headphones.  This is particularly annoying but since I am new (both to the apartments and to the workout routine) I don't want to make waves.  When she leaves (after about 50 minutes on the treadmill), she leaves both TVs on even though the remote controls are right by her area.  I just stop what I am doing and turn off the loud TV (the remote is busted for the TV that is muted).

As soon as LB leaves (almost as if on queue), Pony Tail (PT) enters and gets on the same treadmill.  When I was telling my wife about the people in the room, she asked if one of them had a pony tail.  She evidently had spoken to PT sometime in the past.  PT has headphones as well but does not feel the need to turn on the other TV (thankfully).  I have never spoke to LB but I have spoken to PT.  PT and I speak about LB.  In fact, it is PT who asked me the first day I was there, "Did the Little Blonde leave the TV on real loud?"  When I was first asked this, I did not know how to respond.  I would never refer to any woman as "Little Blonde" and so I had to be careful how I answer this question.  If I answer YES, then it might be construed that LB is a phrase I would use to describe her.  If I answer NO then I am lying.  I answered, "I think so" hoping that it would suffice.  PT explained several things that she did not like about LB.  This might account for her arriving right after LB leaves.

This morning I got there about 5 minutes later than normal and missed LB.  She was there though as the TV was up really, really loud again.  By the time I got to the treadmill portion of my time there, PT was there.  I had not been on the treadmill the same time as PT before and the equipment is laid out so that you can see the other persons settings (incline and MPH).  I was walking happily along and then she started.  I was going 4.2 mph at a 2 degree incline.  She had the gall to do 4.5 mph and 2.5 degree incline.  My ego got the better of me and I bumped it up to 4.5 mph.  After a minute or so, she declined down to 1.5 degrees.  A few minutes later, she started to go 6.7 mph.  "Crud!" I thought.  Not to be out done I jumped up to 6.5 mph (in my mind this was close enough).  Thankfully she slowed down a few moments later and soon my 30 minutes was up and I left with my ego still in tact.

I feel like an intruder though.  Even though the room could fit a half dozen people each working out on different machines, LB and PT seem to have it sorted out so that they are alone.  I have even thought of using this as an excuse for stopping to go there in the morning.  That would probably upset TW though (The Wife).

Thanks for reading my Random Thoughts.

Jon

Blog Number 101

Greetings and welcome to today's random thought.

Well since up until 3 months ago I was a Hoosier, yesterday was my first ever time to "fall back" due to daylight saving time.  This would also be the first time my cat had to fall back.  He didn't.  He was trying to get us up at 4:30 instead of 5:30.  Not really a problem as I had decided that having this extra hour would be a great time to head down to the workout room and add a little exercise to this diet I am on.  So for I am down 8 pounds and with Thanksgiving and Christmas lurking I need all the head start I can get.  There was another person in the workout room but that is a blog for another day.

Since Halloween is so close everything everywhere reflects this.  The daughter and I were out tonight to the grocery store to get some milk (organic), water (filtered) and bread (whole grain).  Immediately upon entering the store we encountered some scary balloons.  The daughter is very observant of these things, pointing out every little scary thing she sees.  I am not sure if she remembers a lot from this time last year so I am sure that to her, things are just getting more scary for no apparent reason.  The wife and I don't discuss Halloween really.  It is not that we are against or for it really, we just don't celebrate it.  Hence, I don't even think the daughter knows what Halloween is.  This makes for awkward conversations in lines at places like (oh, I don't know) grocery stores.  A grandmother behind us was buying 6 or 7 bags of Hershey's Miniatures and asked my daughter if she was looking forward to Halloween.  She has no idea what this nice lady is talking about and could produce only a blank stare.  The lady in front of us was buying some pumpkin carving gifts.  "Are you carving a pumpkin?", she asked?  Blank stare.  The checkout lady then asked what she was going to dress up as - blank stare.

As uncomfortable as this is for her to go through, it cannot be worse than "the look."  "The look" is what people give me after quizzing my children and finding they know nothing about Halloween.  It is a look that conveys that they assume I am some sort of religious kook or something.  I have found that saying nothing is really the best defense.  I have tried the "we don't celebrate Halloween" approach but people then feel like I think they are some sort of heathen for observing it.  I don't know what to say to them that will stop "the look" from continuing.  Oh well, it will be over soon.

The church we are attending is having a fall festival on 10/31.  I have never been into the "fake" Halloween thing.  If you show up with kids somewhere on 10/31 and they give out candy, then that is Halloween, not some sort of fall festival.  Our church is giving away 700,000 pieces of candy tomorrow.  Seven Hundred Freakin' Thousand pieces!  Insane!  I don't really want to go but I am sure I will be suckered into attending somehow.

I still haven't decided what I will tell people though - whether I went to a Halloween party or a fall festival.

Thanks for reading my Random Thoughts.

Jon

Blog Number 100

Greetings and welcome to today's random thought.

The daughter is quite hooked on anything having to do with the Disney Princesses.  Now I know that a lot of little girls are really into these gals but mine might be a little overboard.  She has a DVD that came with a plastic mat that is about 3 foot in diameter.  She puts the DVD in and it tells her where to step on the map to do various dances that they do in the movies that involved the princesses.  She watches it about every day.  The DVD also came with a wand (of course, what princess would not keep her wand handy).  Many of the dances make use of the wand as well.

Her infatuation does not stop there however, it seeps into everyday life.  Take her prayers for instance.  When she prays over her food, she also prays that "Mommy and Daddy's dreams all come true."  I looked and that prayer is nowhere in the Bible per se.

Last night I was trying to catch up on some work email so I had my work laptop up and going and was dutifully sitting in front of it.  It was the wife's turn to bathe the daughter but as she came out of the bathroom in her pajamas, she made a beeline for her wand.  She then walked over to where I was working, waved the wand around me and said, "Bippity, Boppity, Boo.  Now get off the puter!"

Too cute.  In this case, her wish did come true.  What do you know, the wand actually works!

Thanks for reading my Random Thoughts.

Jon

Blog Number 99

Greetings and welcome to today's random thought.

My daughter is really into books lately.  My wife has taught her to read and although she it not quite past the Bob Books, she is doing pretty good for a 4 year old.  She really likes any book about animals.  During the football game yesterday I was looking through a particularly detailed books on cats.  I had to point out the pumas, leopards, ocelots and panthers (and many, many more).

Today the wife and daughter made another trip to the library and came home with "Antarctic Antics: A Book Of Penguin Poems" by Judy Sierra.  The wife suggested I read one particular poem.  Here it is...

It's been one whole hour since I ate.
Why is my mother always late?
While you and Mom procrastinate.
I might become a featherweight.
You know what I'd appreciate?
Cough it up, Dad.  Regurgitate.

The poem is quite simple.  All the end words rhyme like a good poem should.  But seriously, how did this get into the book?  Did they need one more page or two to meet some sort of minimum criteria for book length?  This also begs the question, "Were there poems that did NOT make the criteria for the book?"  If we saw the ones left out of the book would we find the following...?

I wonder what it would be like to be a species,
That did not take the time to eat their own feces?

I'm telling you, I should write a book of poems myself.

Thanks for reading my Random Thoughts.

Jon

Blog Number 98

Greetings and welcome to today's random thought.

I had a particularly hectic day at work.  Fridays are all about the escalations and today was no different.  Well, I take that back, today my team leader took the afternoon off.  Oh, and he asked me to back him up.  Oh, and my manager was on vacation.  Oh, and his manager was on vacation.  This meant that all escalations for the afternoon had to be dealt with by me.  I have done this before and typically I have found that if you sound angry and speak like you are important, people will believe you.  Some of my teammates will ask me to call a supplier and use my "angry, important" voice.  This works with amazing results.  I feel a little guilty pretending to be important, but speaking calmly and softly does not work on Friday afternoons when the weekend is looming.  So anyway, that was my day.

I got home around 5:40 and noticed right off the bat that dinner was not started.  The wife knew at about 5:20 that I was heading home and I was promised spaghetti and meatballs for dinner so I found it odd that there was not at least some water boiling.  After the normal greeting reserved for a father / husband who has been gone all day, the wife then asked me if I was sure that I wanted spaghetti for dinner.  For those of you guys out there that are not married, let me roughly translate this for you from marriage-speak - "We are going out to dinner."  Now that is a rough translation but the syntax is correct.

We had not had pizza in a while so we headed down the road to Brooklyn's Pizzeria.  We had been there once before and it was really good so it was an easy choice.  The place was a little crowded and there were only a few tables left so we headed to the counter to place our order.  After we ordered, we were handed a little plastic number to put at the end of our table.  By the time we were done, there were no tables left.  I did notice though that several tables were taken by people without numbers so they obviously snagged them while someone else who was with them was waiting in line to order.  This seemed a little unfair but in a few minutes a group left and we got 2 tables for 2 by the register.  This area is a little busy but at least we were sitting down.

Right above my table was a sign indicating the sizes of pizzas that they offered.  Most pizza places have these.  However most shops have the words "small", "medium", "large", "extra large", etc. on the sign.  This one did not have sizes but rather measurements (12", 14", 16", and 18").  Hello?  Anyone else see the utter pointlessness of this?  If your pizza sizes don't have the names "small", etc., and are rather indicated by actual measurement, what is the point of having them visible on the wall?  Can you not visualize how big a 14" pizza is without a picture?  14" is 14" no matter what you are ordering.

Anyway, the owner is this older dude that seemed to know all the regulars there and called them by their first names.  He came over toward the end of the meal and asked me if the son was good or bad.  He needed some bad boys to wash some dishes and was wandering around recruiting (or so he said).  The son almost believed him for a second.  He talked to us for a few minutes and gave each of the kids a quarter to put in the gumball machines.

All in all it was not a bad time despite the crowdedness and how my day had went at work.  I was just sitting there though by the register waiting for someone to ask how big the 14" pizza was.

Thanks for reading my Random Thoughts.

Jon

Blog Number 97

Greetings and welcome to today's random thought.

Wednesday nights we take the kids to AWANA.  This starts at 6:30 and so we need to leave at around 6:20.  I don't usually get home from work until around 5:30.  Hence, Wednesday evenings at our house are a little hectic.  Tonight was no different.

I actually did not get home until about 5:50 so that left precious little time for dinner.  The wife had fried up some chicken breasts, baked some potatoes and steamed some corn (am I making you hungry?).  There was only one problem.  The chicken breast was not boneless nor was it skinless.

I prefer my chicken with no bone and no skin (the way God intended it to be).  Whenever I am eating any meat that is still attached to the bone, I feel like some sort of Neanderthal man.  I do not know why this is, but it is.  Now truth be told, my wife did not buy this chicken.  It was purchased by her mother when she was here on a visit and it was on sale (for like $1 / lb.).  Be that as it may, I still don't like it.

So here I am, pressed for time, trying to avoid my primal instincts to grunt while pulling the flesh from the chicken carcass.  My son (who is very much like me) struggles with this as well.  This blog cannot convey the range of facial expressions he had during dinner.  I really feel for the kid.

I survived.  We all got enough to eat and the kids got to AWANA on time.  Unfortunately, we still have (4) more bone in, skin on, chicken breasts in the fridge (grunt, grunt).

Thanks for reading my Random Thoughts.

Jon

Blog Number 96

Greetings and welcome to today's random thought.

I think I have given up on the idea of blogging every day, no matter what.  Maybe the newness has wore off.  Maybe I have writer's block.  Maybe I have just run out of ideas.  Maybe I will change my mind tomorrow.

Proverbs 18:24a says, "A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly..."  This verse is nowhere proved more to be true than by my daughter.  She is just about as friendly as you can get.

Today was grocery day for the wife and daughter.  Since I get paid twice a month, the wife has to stagger her grocery shopping days every other week so that there are exactly 4 grocery days per month.  I think that this week was really supposed to be a Sunday grocery day but given that the stores are so busy on Sunday's, she would rather put it off one more day.  This makes Sunday dinner and Monday breakfast to be slim pickin’s.  However, she is more than willing to have us sacrifice so that she does not have to shop on Sunday.  I have pointed out to her on occasion that we should not have to suffer (with whatever food is left) so she could avoid suffering (not shopping on Sunday).  This type of complaint typically is met with deaf ears.

Anyway, back to Proverbs 18:24.  Although we have taught my daughter not to talk to strangers, we do allow her some leeway when she is with us.  I usually ask her about her day when I get home.  Today was no different and she proceeded to tell me about a lady she met today.  She started by stating the obvious, "I met a lady with just one leg."  "Really," I said.  She then told me that this lady's leg was sick so they had to take it off.  My wife filled in the details.  Evidently she saw this lady in a wheelchair that was obviously missing a leg and in a very truthful and curious manner, asked her what happened to her leg.  The lady politely explained what had happened at which point my daughter looked long and hard at her legs and then stated to the lady, "I have two legs."  The lady said that she was glad that my daughter had two legs.

This happened with my son as well when he was around 5.  He saw someone in a wheelchair and inquired as to why the person had to be in a wheelchair.  They politely explained at which time my son said, "So, you get to sit down all the time?"  The person had evidently not thought of it that way and had a nice chuckle.  The wheelchair must have been an electric one as he then asked about the buttons on the chair.  This person explained that they made the wheelchair go.  This then started a discussion about how fast it could go and how neat that must be.  When my son left this person, their face was beaming.  This had truly made their day.

Fast forward to the wife and daughter coming home today with groceries.  There was another person walking toward the apartment building.  My daughter said hello to him and he smiled at her and walked on at which time my daughter said to my wife,  "He did not say hello to me."  The man overheard this and turned around and came back and apologized and then said hello.

Now I know that this does not work as well if you are (oh, say) 37.  But I think a lesson can be learned here.  Show yourself friendly.  You would be surprised of the effects.

Thanks for reading my Random Thoughts.

Jon

Blog Number 95

Greetings and welcome to today's random thought.

Our friends from around Austin, TX, were coming up today but because it is about a 4 hour drive they were not due in until slightly after noon.  I knew that both of our kids would be eager for their arrival and I remember being that age and how time just drug on when you were watching the clock in anticipation.  Because of this, around 11 I corralled both kids into the Buick and headed toward Starbucks for hot chocolate.  I say "hot" chocolate but really it is more like warm chocolate.  If you order any kids drink, they keep the temperature down.  I would guess it is mostly for safety reasons but part of me thinks it is so they don't get sued for burning some pour kids tongue.

I ordered coffee and added a little half-n-half to it.  I am cutting most sugar out of my diet in order to lose a little weight and I am not a fan of any artificial sweeteners.  A few years ago I cut most sugar out of my diet and lost about 50 lbs. over 6 or 8 months.  Since then I have put about 35 of it back on.  I knew what I weighed but it wasn't until I was looking at some pictures from Christmas 2003 that I realized how much heavier I looked.  I started my "diet" on Thursday and am already down 2 lbs. in 2 days.  If I can keep up this pace (which is not likely, nor is it healthy to lose weight this quickly), I will be down to my target weight by Thanksgiving.

Because the "hot" chocolates were not that hot and since my coffee was both hot and not sweet, the kids finished their drinks before I finished mine.  The kids sat quietly while I sipped my coffee and I even convinced the 8 year old to take a sip of my coffee.  I don't think he has ever had coffee before but if he had, it more than likely had a lot of sugar in it.  Either way, he agreed to try a sip.  In my opinion, the coffee had cooled down enough for him so he tipped the cup up and took a swig.

The look on his face was priceless.  It was obvious that he did not much care for the taste (this is Starbucks coffee with no sugar mind you, probably an acquired taste).  But the look on his face was more complicated than that.  His face said much more than just, "This is awful."  I have thought about his expression off an on during the day and the best way I can describe it is this, "This is awful, and you are drinking it?  On purpose?"  He must think I am crazy.  I stopped about half way through the cup.  Drinking coffee without sugar is going to take some getting used to.  Maybe he is right, maybe I am crazy.

Thanks for reading my Random Thoughts.

Jon

Blog Number 94

Greetings and welcome to today's random thought.

Sorry about not blogging yesterday, I was not feeling well.  Of course I could have blogged about not feeling well, but I didn't feel like it.  While at a stoplight on the way to work this morning,  I looked in my rearview mirror and was people watching.  Now the wife will tell you that I am a people watcher.  I am more than that actually, I am a people commenter.  This is what gets me out of going places with the wife (like the grocery store), her fear that my "people commenting" might be overheard by (oh, I don't know) people.  I am of the mindset that some things that are odd just have to be pointed out, no matter who's feelings may get hurt.  Anyway, I looked in my rear view mirror and saw a mother and father obviously heading to work and their small child in the backseat.  Both parents were eating breakfast, one had an apple but I could not tell what the other was eating.  But there they were, just having breakfast together in their car.

That made me think of my family (not that we eat a lot in the car).  It made me feel thankful that we sit down each night together (as a family) and have dinner together.  I have no idea if this family eats other meals together like this or at an actual table.  That is one thing that I have sort of vowed to do, never have a family life so busy that we don't have at least one meal a day together.

OK, enough about that.  Today being Friday the 13th I thought I would broaden your vocabulary a little.  Now you have probably heard of Triskaidekaphobia (the fear of the number 13) but have you ever hear of Hexakosioihexekontahexaphobia?  This is the fear of the number 666.  Now I have a healthy respect for the number 666 but I really cannot say that I fear it.  Today also marks the first time in 476 years that all the numbers in a date of a Friday the 13th total 13 (10/13/2006 - 1+0+1+3+2+0+0+6=13).  That has not happened since 1/13/1520 (according to this article).

More that likely though you are reading this entry on some other day than today, so take heart, you survived!

Thanks for reading my Random Thoughts.

Jon

Blog Number 93

Greetings and welcome to today's random thought.

As I begin this blog, bath duty is looming.  Since our guests left it is back to the normal every other day bath duty (sigh).

The wife and I have an ongoing contest on one of our favorite computer games, Mahjongg.  The game that comes with Ubuntu lets you pick different tile sets and also different tile layouts.  Each layout has a different degree of difficulty.  If you don't see a match you can ask for a hint.  Also, if you have no legal moves left, you can have the computer shuffle the tiles around.  The whole point is to clear the board in as little time as possible.  You get penalized by adding time to your clock for the hints and the shuffles.  If you clear the board and have one of the best times, you get to enter your name on the "Best Times" list.

Now, you would think that if you read this list you would simply see either my wife's or my name and then the time.  Our list is more of a taunting / bragging list.  Here are the current entries...

1. TAKE THAT BABY!!!! - 2m 58s
2. Me me me - 3m 11s
3. me - 3m 20s
4. Yes, The Man Did It! - 3m 24s
5. The Woman Did It! - 3m 26s
6. almost! - 3m 26s

Now I am sad to say that only #4 is mine.  All the others are times the wife has put up.  In my defense, she plays about 10 games for every 1 that I play.  I have not yet attempted to hack the high score log and manually enter lower scores.  I am sure it can be done.  I know this only because I envision the programmer who wrote the game probably had a wife like mine.  I imagine their scores look like this...

1. You call yourself a programmer? - 1m 45s
2. So, you created this game and yet I can beat you - 1m 57s
3. Ho hum, another low time - 2m 12s
4. Honey, I got this time blindfolded - 2m 14s

So I guess it could be worse.  I have a feeling though if I drop out of the top 10, Mahjongg will mysteriously disappear from the games list on our computer.

Thanks for reading my Random Thoughts.

Jon

Blog Number 92

Greetings and welcome to today's random thought.

If your head starts to hurt anytime during this blog feel free to move onto CNN's Offbeat News section for some lighter fare.  Yesterday's blog was my 100th entry.  Now I did not make a big deal about it (for reasons that will soon become apparent).

In my (humble) opinion, our society makes too big of a deal about anything ending in a 0.  We think that turning 30, 40, 50, etc., is a big deal.  This also works for anniversaries  The anniversary / birthday industry really pushes this idea as well.  We are also this way about anything ending in 5.  I have a hypothesis on why this is so.  Now I have no proof of this but I am sure if you ask Mr. Google you would find some people that agree with me.  I think it is because we have 5 fingers on each hand (or 10 total).  Our whole society is base 10 "based" on this fact.

As a kid, I remember reading Ripley's Believe It Or Not.  One article stated that certain tribes (in Africa I think) averaged 6 fingers per hand.  Even then I wondered if 10 meant anything special to them (like our 8 or 9 did).  I mean who really celebrates their 27th (the 3rd 9) of anything?  So, would they celebrate the 30th of anything since 36 would be 3 twelve's and hence be their "30"?  I spend a lot of time pondering these things and always have.

Thanks for reading my Random Thoughts.

Jon

Blog Number 91

Greetings and welcome to today's random thought.

You will have to pardon this entry and anything I might say.  I just returned from watching "Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby" so I cannot be held responsible for my random thoughts tonight.

So I left work early this afternoon so I could get home in time for a parent / teacher conference.  Up until this year we have homeschooled our 8 year old.  OK, I say "we" but really my wife has done most (ok almost all) the actual work.  Consequently, I have never attended a parent / teacher conference.  OK well technically, every night when the wife and I would talk it would be (again, technically) a parent / teacher conference.  Heck, to be truly technical, if the wife started talking to herself, you could legitimately say that it was a parent / teacher conference.  But I digress, today I went to my first parent / teacher conference where the "teacher" was not my wife.

Now that we have that settled (it is settled right?), let's get on with the blog.  We went through the normal stuff, your son is doing this and that, yada yada yada.  I wasn't really paying attention.  Just kidding.  I actually had a pretty good time.  The teacher is a nice enough lady and she and my wife have several things in common.  Toward the end of the meeting, we talked about our grade school memories.  My son is in third grade and I admitted to his teacher that I did not even remember my third grade teacher.  I remember my second grade teacher.  I remember my fourth grade teacher.  I even remember a substitute teacher that I had in the fourth grade.  But for the life of me, I don't remember anything about third grade.  I assured her that I meant no disrespect by this admission.

The teacher just sat there silent for a minute and then admitted that she could not remember her third grade teacher either.

Thanks for reading my Random Thoughts.

Jon

Blog Number 90

Greetings and welcome to today's random thought.

Since we have our two visitors this week, getting ready in the morning takes some planning.  It also takes some speed so that everyone can have hot water in their shower.  I ended up going 2nd and sped through at near record speed.  I also opted out of shaving for the 2nd straight day (thereby avoiding death again).  I was on the computer after my shower and noticed that someone else was in the shower.  We have 2 bathrooms in our apartment and the person going 3rd was in the kids bathroom.

While on the computer I saw my 4 year old daughter head to the kitchen.  I didn't think anything of it really.  She emerged from the kitchen with a butter knife and headed toward her bedroom.  This should have raised a red flag in my parental head but I was busy checking out what was on Woot! for the day so I was a little distracted.  A few seconds later I hear the 4 year old talking to whoever was in the shower.  Now I know the bathroom door was locked.  It was then that I put 2 and 2 together.  My sweet, innocent, 4 year old daughter had broke into the bathroom.  She had picked the lock with a butter knife!

My head was in a whirl!  How could she have learned this technique?  I know that we have a few educational channels but I can't imagine this ever being the subject matter.  I don't think I could even open a locked bathroom door with a butter knife.  I then looked at the wife and explained that the 4 year old had done this deed.  My wife just laughed.  I asked the wife how she could have come by this tidbit of knowledge.  Avoiding eye contact, she pleaded the 5th.

I wonder what else the wife it teaching the kids while I am at work?  At least I know now that locking my bathroom door will not guarantee any privacy.  I will have to hide the butter knives first.

Thanks for reading my Random Thoughts.

Jon

Blog Number 89

Greetings and welcome to today's random thought.

Well I was able to avoid death today.  Since it is Saturday and I do not shave on Saturdays, the wife could not attempt to end my life with Cruex (those of you who are confused will have to read yesterday's blog).  On the next several Saturdays, the son has soccer games and today was no different.  The mother-in-law and sister-in-law were able to attend as well.  This evening though the wife went out with them for dinner and a movie so I got bath duty.  Also, after the bath, we played 3 games of TriOnimoes (the 4 year old won each game).

This afternoon however, the rest of the clan went to a pumpkin patch and was was left all by my lonesome self.  I had no real desire to travel to the patch with the kids and they would have an equally good time with or without me so I took the opportunity to head to another Half Price Bookstore in hopes of finding more discounted CDs.  This store's selection was quite paltry compared to the first one that I visited so I was heading home a lot quicker than I originally intended to.  When I got back to the apartment I noticed a moving van backed up to my building.  I peeked inside and asked the 2 ladies who were in there if they needed any help.  The answer I was looking for should have gone something like this, "No, thanks.  We got it."  This however was NOT the response given.  All they said was a simple, "Yes."  So now I was stuck as there is no good way that I know of that you can withdraw your offer.

Fortunately for me, the van was about 75% emptied.  Also fortunate for me was the fact that she was moving into the a first floor apartment.  There were several boxes, a dresser, a mattress, a box springs and a few odds and ends so I jumped right in.  After a few introductions, I was helping her brother move the mattress and box springs.  He looked about like I imagined I looked after I had emptied my U-Haul a few months ago, tired and ready to be done.  But he was grateful for the help.  I remember when I pulled into the parking lot with my moving van.  All the other tenants kept their heads down and avoided direct eye contact.  I also remember how I felt when getting the cold shoulder and that is one of the reasons I volunteered my services.  That and the fact that the van was so empty (hey I can't help it I wasn't there when they arrived!).

Anyway, after everything was unloaded, I headed up to my apartment to fetch my toolbox so we could get the bed put together.  After that was done I said my goodbyes and let them know they were welcome to head up to my apartment if they needed anything.  Then I headed back upstairs and relaxed on the couch in front of the baseball playoffs.

All in all it was a pretty good Saturday.  I avoided death and got to help someone out, not a bad combination.

Thanks for reading my Random Thoughts.

Jon

Blog Number 88

Greetings and welcome to today's random thought.

This morning my wife tried to kill me.  Each weekday morning we have the same routine.  Around 5:30 she nudges me and indicates that it is time for me to get up and make the coffee.  The alarm is set for 5:35 but we rarely need it since the cat usually wakes us up before then.  After the coffee is made, we sit in front of the computer and watch a TV show that we have downloaded from the internet with our coffee.  Once that is over, I go into the bathroom to shave and shower and by the time I come out the kids are up and I grab some breakfast to go and kiss the family goodbye.

OK, now to the attempted murder portion of the blog.  I keep my shaving supplies below the bathroom sink in a basket.  Typically I will have taken my glasses off before reaching down there to grab my shaving gel and my razor.  Unbeknownst to me, the wife had Bogarted my shaving gel can to use in the shower.  With my glasses off I have about 20/100 vision with my left eye.  At that level of sight I can only make out shapes and colors so all I know is that I am looking for a orange-ish colored cylinder that is supposed to be shaving gel.  Since the gel was not there but in the shower, my poor eyes only saw the red-ish can of Cruex (hey, I had some issues a while back!).

Cruex contains Miconazole Nitrate.  I later read the fine print on the can (after I put my glasses back on) and it specifically says, "DO NOT USE in or near the mouth or eyes."  They go on to inform you that you need to call the poison hotline if ingested.

I was able to get to work OK despite this near death experience and I have since then forgiven my wife.  But if these blogs suddenly stop happening, you will know why.

Thanks for reading my Random Thoughts.

Jon

Blog Number 87

Greetings and welcome to today's random thought.

I received a few comments on the new layout.  They all were pretty similar.  They went a little like this...

"You changed something?  Hmm, sorry, didn't notice."

I will admit that the main reason for upgrading to the premium Xanga package was to get rid of the Google ads at the top of the page.  If you look at my sister-in-law's site, you will see what I mean.  Look at the top of the page and notice that there are ads.  Sometimes there is just one ad, other times there are as many as four.  Google has this thing called adsense where it looks at the content of the web page and then posts appropriate ads.  For instance, my first blog entry was about a cashier who shorted me $0.15 when I bought some coffee.  That day, the Google ads were for accounting software, coffee, and cash register supplies.  Makes perfect (ad)sense.  Herein is the main reason that I shelled out the $4 for the premium site.  You can just guess what kind of ads were there when I made THIS POST about naked mermaids riding bareback on stallions.  Nuff said (and you're welcome).

So the mother-in-law and sister-in-law are still here (day 2 of "no bath duty" – woo hoo).  As I arrived home everyone was heading out to the park.  This was fine for me since I had a little bit of a headache.  I ended up taking about a 2 hour nap on the couch.  As I was thinking about what to blog about tonight, I remembered a deep discussion a co-worker and I had about 6 years ago about naps.  This lady I used to work with would get very sleepy in the early afternoon and she thought that if our company would allow everyone to take a 1/2 hour nap each day, then everyone would be more productive.  I on the other had suggested that each employee be made to play chess for 1/2 hour each afternoon and that would make us better workers (due to increase in analytical thinking skills).  Also, napping at work would require a lot of space not to mention cots, pillows and maybe blankets whereas chess would only require a few chess sets (we could use the existing tables in the break room).  Well the company did not take either of our suggestions (shocking, eh?).

I still think it is a good idea (making everyone play chess) but as I get older, I see her point about naps.  Plus I know that if it were taken to the employees for a vote, chess would get about 1 vote.

Thanks for reading my Random Thoughts.

Jon

Blog Number 86

Greetings and welcome to today's random thought.

Well the mother-in-law and sister-in-law arrived this afternoon for a week long visit.  To my wife and I this means one thing, no more bath duty for us for a week!  We even gave each other a high five tonight in celebration.  The sister-in-law drew the short straw tonight.  The daughter has been in super happy mode ever since they arrived at the airport.  Evidently "out of town grandma/aunt visit" is some sort of crack for preschoolers.

We went out to eat at Bennigan's for dinner.  I stepped up to the greeter and notified that we needed a table for 6.  He asked how many kid's menus we would need.  Now it was apparent to me that there were 2 kids in the party.  I answered that I needed zero kid's menus.  He kind of paused like he was not sure how to proceed.  I assured him that no kid's menus were needed and he cautiously took us to our table.  Our waiter then came to our table and I ordered water for my wife, kids and I.  This always gets the "Oh, great" look from the server.  Ordering water evidently signifies to the waiter that we are cheapskates and this will undoubtedly be reflected in his tip.  Combine our water order with the fact that the kids had no kid's menus and this is like an alarm to the waiter.

Now, I am not a cheapskate (really) but the portion sizes that most restaurants serve nowadays just beg that sensible people share a plate.  Also, after an hour at a restaurant, all you really have is a full stomach no matter what you ordered.  The wife and I share a plate all the time when we go out.  We order a more expensive platter and share.  It is not our fault that we cannot consume enough food for 3 people each (some of the things on the menus could feed an army)!  Bennigan's has these new cheeseburgers that they serve on pita bread.  I ordered a BBQ Bacon for the wife and a Peppercorn Bleu variety for myself.  After they arrived, I cut them up and passed them out to the kids.  Everyone was full and as a bonus, Wednesday specials include any burger for $4.99 each.  So before tax and tip, we got out for $10.  The daughter decided she wanted what grandma was having so the son consumed a little more burger to make up for it.  I do reward waiters and waitresses with good tips for good service.  By not spending $2 each for drinks and $10 for kids meals, I have much more available to me to tip (assuming the service was good).

In the end, the mother-in-law paid for dinner.  If I had know that ahead of time I might have ordered the steak.

Thanks for reading my Random Thoughts.

Jon

Blog Number 85

Greetings and welcome to today's random thought.

In case you have not noticed, I change the layout of my blog site.  For $4 / month, you can remove the Google ads that used to be at the top of the page and you can also customize your layout.  I started playing around a little earlier today with the layout (something you can do without shelling out the $4) but when it came time to submitting the new design and going "live" with it Xanga then told me that I had to upgrade.  I thought it a little unfair that they let me play around (getting me hooked) and then forced me to upgrade.  But (as you can plainly see), their plan worked and my PayPal account is $4 lower (sigh).  Let me know what you think.

One thing we had to do when moving to Texas was switch banks.  Our bank in Indiana has branches only in Indiana (which is one heck of a commute to do your banking).  I signed up for the credit union that my company is associated with and planned on closing out the old account.  Ah but as you faithful readers know, nothing in my life is that simple.  For one thing, opening a checking account does NOT mean you get any checks.  When I asked, they said I could go online and order checks.  I went to the credit union's website and the only link referencing checks was RE-ordering checks.  I crossed my fingers and clicked anyway and sure enough, since I had no previous order, I could not re-order.  I really did not even want checks since they have an online bill pay feature that is free so I just planned on not ordering checks.

In order to close the Indiana bank account, I had to change all my auto-pay bills to reference my new Texas account.  That went pretty well except for my life insurance payment.  It seems that I had to fill out 2 pieces of paper AND supply a voided check.  Once again irony enters my life.  So I now have to order checks in order to be able to not pay with a check.  I ended up using Walmart Checks.  I got my box of 240 checks in the mail the other day and dutifully tore off check 1001, voided it, and mailed it to the insurance company.

Who knows when #1002 will be used.

Thanks for reading my Random Thoughts.

Jon

Blog Number 84

Greetings and welcome to today's random thought.

I recently finished re-reading "The Death of Ivan Ilyich" by Leo Tolstoy.  I read this in college about 18 years ago for a literature class.  I remember liking it very much and when I visited the local library recently, I checked it out.  The book is very depressing and looks at one man's death and focuses toward the end on his pain and suffering and his realization that he lived his life in mostly a wrong way (hey I said it was depressing).

I tend to read books just a few pages at each setting so it is not uncommon for me to take a month or two to finish a book.  This story is only 60 or so pages long so it took me only about 10 days overall.  I took it with me to work last week so I would have it to read at lunch.  As I was heading home for the night I stopped off at the restroom and laid the book on the sink while I headed toward the urinal.  Another man entered shortly after I did and noticed the book.  He then started a deep theological discussion while at the urinal next to me.

OK, the "deep theological discussion" only took less than a minute (how long can you take at a urinal really?).  The man had an accent that I could not quite place (somewhere in Europe perhaps).  Anyway, he was shocked that someone was actually reading Tolstoy.  I don't know why he was shocked exactly.  Was is because no one reads Tolstoy or that an American was reading Tolstoy?
A few jobs ago I worked in the laboratory at a foundry.  Toward the end of my tenure there, they hired a metallurgist who was originally from India.  He seemed a little proud overall and carried himself as if he was the most intelligent man there.  I don't think he did this on purpose, maybe I just wasn't used to his culture (or he to mine).  At any rate, one day he was trying to educate me by using a reference to another short story by Tolstoy.  The shock on his face as I told him the story verbatim was priceless.  Here was this $6.50 / hr lab dude that actually heard of Tolstoy (let alone had read anything by him).

This was the same look I got from the guy at the urinal.  It may be coincidental that the only two times I have seem this kind of reaction was from people that were not from this country originally.  Or it could be the fact that every time I bring up Leo Tolstoy to another American, they say, "Leo who?"

Thanks for reading my Random Thoughts.

Jon

Blog Number 83

Greetings and welcome to today's random thought.

Well I have missed my 2nd day blogging.  It is not my fault though.  My AT&T DSL was down from early yesterday morning until around 3 PM today.  When I called in to the help desk, the lady on the other end of the line seemed quite relieved that I was not upset.  Several times I would answer with a "That's OK" or "No Problem" and she thanked me with relief in her voice.  She must have had a bad day.  Odd that my simple words would relieve her stress even if it was a little bit.  So anyway, I have now missed 2 days blogging out of about 80 or so.

The other day I was thinking about naked mermaids riding bareback on white stallions.  Now, now, give me a minute here to explain,  Jeesh, you guys jump to the wrong conclusions so quickly!  Faithful reader, you should know by now that by the 3rd paragraph or so that I will make sense of it all.  You see, my daughter is a big fan of the Disney princesses.  She is also a fan of horses (as noted in a recent blog).  One of the princesses she has is Ariel from "The Little Mermaid."  She had de-clothed Ariel and mounted her on a white horse that my mother had recently purchased for her.  After she showed this to me, I had trouble explaining why I was laughing so hard.  She simply could not understand what I found so amusing.

I also mentioned in another recent blog that the wife and I were attended some Sunday night classes at our church about marriage enrichment.  One thing that popped up tonight was (from time to time) asking your spouse what he/she was thinking about.  My wife has learned long ago to avoid this question like the plague.  I only hope that none of my coworkers ask me this question tomorrow at work.

Thanks for reading my Random Thoughts.

Jon

Blog Number 82

Greetings and welcome to today's random thought.

Let me apologize in advance for today's random thought.  I don't know why I think of these things but I do.  Just be thankful you are not me, plagued with these random thoughts that I have to get out.

So I am watching Clifford, the Big Red Dog the other day with my daughter and this thought occurs to me.  Where is the Big Red Pooper Scooper?  I mean, think about it.  This dog is about the size of a house, the dung piles have got to be enormous.  I cannot enjoy the show since I am pondering this concept.  Perhaps the father sells the manure as fertilizer to the local gardeners.  This is probably not the case given that they live on an island and the laws of supply and demand would come into play making the manure to be almost worthless.  If the father does not sell it, what else is he going to do with it?  If you wanted some manure, you could almost get it for free.

The apartment complex that I live in allows pets.  There are even little baggy dispensers located around the property for you to use to clean up after your pet.  According to the Wikipedia Pooper Scooper article, Germany actually does DNA testing on pet fecal matter left on public property and fines the dog owner for any waste that was left behind.

Anyway, the more I think about it, the more I would not want to be around Clifford.  Plus, since my kids are just like me, it is not long until they ponder the pooper scooper mystery as well.  It is a good thing I have taken the time to think it all the way through so I that I will have an answer for them when the time comes.

Thanks for reading my Random Thoughts.

Jon