Recently the wife (and I suppose the rest of us in the Dieterman household) have been trying to reestablish pack order. When McKinney (our 8 month old standard poodle) joined our household there was some jostling for position of course but recently (or maybe for quite some time) Nina has been using what is known as social climbing to try to improve her place in the pack.
I am the alpha male and no one denies this (remember we are talking more about pack order as used by dogs, not by wives). The dogs all understand that I am in charge. Nina (our Doberman) goes so far as to look at me after being given a command by someone else. It is one of those “Really dude, do I have to?” looks. The wife is an understood 2nd in command. From there it gets tricky. The son and daughter should be next in line but Nina is attempting to change that. Due to this, all dogs have recently lost some privileges (with the exception of Oreo who, as the wife puts it, is really our 3rd child).
We removed the one chair that Nina is allowed to be on and we have banned McKinney from all furniture. She had the run of the house when it came to furniture due to her lack of shedding (Nina sheds so she had only the one chair). We also have given the daughter the job of feeding the dogs and making them do a few tricks before she sets down the bowls. Both big dogs have also been put back in their crates when we are sleeping at night.
McKinney spent almost all of her nights in her crate normally but one or two nights I allowed her to remain on our bed. Nina usually gets the run of the house and moves back and forth between the chair (she used to be allowed on) and her crate. That is until around 4 AM.
On almost any night, Nina will arrive (inches from my face mind you) at 4 AM and “announce” that she needs to go outside. Ignoring her really is not an option as she is quite insistent. Her barking is like one of those alarm clocks that gets progressively louder the more you ignore it. No, you cannot ignore her for long. Sending her to her crate is more akin to hitting the snooze button then turning off the alarm.
In her defense, she really does need to go outside. Her gastrointestinal clock is set for the early AM and it is quite consistent. She is out and back in usually in less than 5 minutes and the I go back to bed. The wife claims not to hear Nina (I have my suspicions about this) so it is always I that has his sleep interrupted. Due to this, I have not had a straight 8 hours of sleep on a regular basis for a long, long time.
When I wake up at 4 AM (or rather when I am woken up), I usually use the restroom myself and also get a drink of water. I have 5 minutes to kill while Nina is outside taking care of her business and since I do this almost every night I have fallen into a little bit of a routine myself. First, I head toward the kitchen (where the back door is located) and flip on a light. Usually I flip on the light over the stove as it produces the smallest amount of light and I do not want to wake the kids. Next I let out Nina and then I get a drink of water from the kitchen sink. I then head back into our bedroom and into the master bathroom that is connected to our bedroom. I am in there for a minute and then I head out and then I have a heart attack. Let me explain, but first let me show you this picture.
Sorry for the poor quality. The lighting is not very good in our bedroom and this was taken with my cell phone. For our needs though it will suffice. The door on the right is to our bathroom. To the left (but not in this photo) is the door out of the bedroom. Now, as I previously mentioned, I first go into the kitchen (to the left of this picture) and turn on a light while letting Nina outside. I leave that light on while I head to the bathroom (again, the door to the right here). As I am leaving the bathroom, I turn off the bathroom light. Now the only light on in the house is in the kitchen and I am walking from darkness into that (small) light. Please note the globe on the top left of the bookshelf. It sits about the same height as my head and is (being a globe) of course round. To my 4 AM eyes (aided by the poor lighting) this appears as a round shadow at the same height of a human head. My body, night after night, initially interprets this shadowy figure as another human. This, dear reader, is where my heart gives out every morning. Morning after morning I interpret this circular shadow the same way, only for a moment mind you, but just long enough to have a heart attack. After the adrenaline kicks in, my senses come back to me and I see it for what it is (just a harmless globe). I then go let Nina back into the house and go back to bed.
I do not sleep usually as the adrenaline is still there denying me rest. Sometimes I get 15 minutes of fitful rest before 6 AM arrives but either way, my real sleeping is done for the night. Nina has no trouble going back to sleep. The wife (remember she denies even knowing that Nina wants out or that I take care of this).sleeps on without interruption. Oreo (who is usually “sharing” my pillow by this time of the night) is mildly interrupted but has no trouble returning to his slumber. It is only I that is inconvenienced in all of this.
This is why I am excited about the pack reordering exercise that we are going through in the Dieterman household. Nina in her crate equals more sleep for Jon. Also, my heart can use a break.
Jon
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