A Day Without Me

U2 LYRICS

Started a landslide in my ego…

I think I can honestly say that I have never contemplated suicide.  I mentioned in previous blogs that my life has been without struggle or strife for the most part.  I cannot say whether my wonderful life or some other thing has caused me to avoid thinking about ending my own life.

With this song, Bono talks about the subject and wonders if anyone would miss him (or whoever he is singing about) if he were gone (as in dead).  I can say that I have thought about my funeral or how I would like to be remembered (even thinking that a few choice blog entries be read during the service – or better yet, a hardbound published book of all my blogs for sale to help pay for my burial).  My ego says that others would find my random thoughts entertaining even after my death.  Don’t get me wrong, I want people to be sad that I have passed on, I am just thinking practically here (financially speaking).

I have heard it said that suicide is the ultimate form of selfishness.  While that may be true, I think that most decisions in our life are made in part with at least some thought to “what’s in it for me?”  I have discussed this theory with my wife a few times (she taking the opposite stance, that there can be truly selfless decisions).  I probably am thinking more like “The Selfish Gene”, a book by Richard Dawkins here but the high level concept is the same.  Of course suicide would not be seen as selfish on an evolutionary scale (the subject of Dawkins book – honestly, I have not read the book).  This is probably a subject for another blog at another time.  I do think that suicide is selfish though but I probably am not the best person to think about such things since suicide has not been something that I have considered or studied.

The lyric I started this blog with does reflect me at times, I do struggle with my ego.  I mean, who blogs except to do so narcissistically?  I hide nothing here and know that I do so to call attention to myself.  I guess I am fortunate to have a way to draw attention to myself without having to end my life.

Jon