I got “the question” last Tuesday. The conversation started innocently enough, “Hey, what are you doing Saturday?” The conversation took place at work via our internal instant messaging system. Now, I had to tread carefully here. Not only did I have to answer this open ended question carefully but my response needed to be timely as well. I could not linger with my hands on the keyboard without them moving, entering my response. After a few milliseconds (give or take) I knew that I did not have any other response other than “Nothing, why?”
The answer to that question came almost instantly, as if it were already written from the other end and the other party’s mouse pointer was poised on the SEND button with their finger on the clicker, eager to pull the trigger. “I need you to help me move.” Bang, the shot was fired, I could not dodge the bullet. The conversation turned upbeat slightly “I’m buying lunch.” I really had nothing planned (like most Saturdays) and I am not one to give up a free lunch so I agreed and my Saturday planner now had an entry.
The person who asked mentioned there would be other helpers as well but I was unsure if I would know any of them. The person who is asking both works at the same company that I work at and attends the same church that I attend. So, I did not know if it was “work Jon” or “church Jon” he was asking. If it was “work Jon” then it was unlikely I would know my fellow movers as we work for different divisions of the company. If it was “church Jon” then the odds went up a bit. In the back of my head it didn’t really matter I guess as there was lunch (as in free) involved and I my male ego is stroked a bit whenever anyone asks for my help that involves my physical strength (as opposed to most of the times that I am asked to help which usually involves computers).
It turns out that he was not asking “church” or “work” Jon but rather “available this Saturday” Jon. I arrived shortly after 10 AM (the scheduled start time) and met a non work, non church fellow mover. After a few minutes another non work / church mover showed up. There were an ample amount of donuts available (a non announced bonus feature) so that slowed down the start of the moving but gave me time to get to know my fellow workers. Eventually some church friends showed up and we had a mighty crew ready to tackle the job at hand.
Now, to the topic of this blog, despondency. We were only moving half the stuff in the house as the other half remained with his wife. It was tough to remain upbeat based on the “why” of the need to move. I know both the husband and wife and so this was hard (but more awkward than anything) for me. It was the elephant in the room all day (in all the rooms of both locations – the from and the to). Fortunately many hands made the work easier and even though we were at times left like Indians without a chief, we got the vehicles loaded and and unloaded pretty quickly. Still though, we all knew the situation.
My parents ended their marriage when I was 11. I don’t remember a lot about that time but I imagine now how hard it must have been on each of them. As I recall, it was us (Mom, my younger brother and I) that moved as Dad stayed in the house initially. It was exciting for me since we were in a new (to us) house that we were renting from a relative and all my stuff came with me. Having to divide up my belongings as this couple had to do (with some decisions having to be handled on moving day, in front of us movers) is something I cannot fathom. Even now as I look around my house I can’t think of what would be mine to take if I were ever in that situation. It is not pleasant to think about.
This morning our pastor spoke about Psalm 88. He said that it would likely be the only time in our life that we would see this as the passage in a sermon. It is a truly depressing psalm. It deals with the psalmist’s despondency and does not offer even a gleam of hope at the end of the psalm. I appreciate a pastor that does not shy away from the tough passages. His ultimate point was that it is ok (at times) to be despondent. There are times in life when all is bleak and no religion’s followers are immune to it. It is what it is and there is no need to deny it. I am not saying that this is how this couple felt, I am simply saying that it is how I imagine myself feeling should I find myself in the same lot.
After the moving was complete (three trips back and forth) I did not feel much sense of accomplishment. Everything was just in piles and boxes (or piles of boxes) and (other than the bed and a dresser or two) most things were not where they needed to be. My work / church friend had a lot of work to do before the day was through in order to have some sense of normalcy in his apartment. I will see him in the hallways at work. I do not know if I will see him at church. It will be awkward for a while as I am not one to know what to say and do in these situations.
Thinking back, my life has been great. I have had a pretty good run of happiness. I don’t have things that I can point to that were particularly difficult times in my life. I cannot relate to those who are going through difficult times. I do not have any thoughts from experience to share. I guess I should just be quiet and help when needed, even if it is on a Saturday and even if a free lunch (or a donut) is not involved.
Jon
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