Bad Jokes

For some reason the other day we were trading bad jokes.  By bad jokes I mean jokes that are just not funny.  I think it started before Sunday school class 2 weeks ago but that is not important (unless later I want to blame it on our pastor, the king of bad jokes, puns, etc).  Anyway, I added my dad’s favorite bad joke…

Q: What do you call a dog with no legs?
A: It doesn’t matter, he won’t come to you anyway.

See what I mean by a bad joke now?  Anyway, my son loves bad jokes so I asked Mr. Google and he was able to provide us a few.  I mentioned a few blogs ago that over the summer the son and I built a computer.  We are using it as our home theater for the most part and (to keep the costs low) we decided to go with Ubuntu (linux) for the operating system.  One cool thing about Ununtu is the ability to find almost any program that you would ever need and install it quickly.  One program I downloaded was a speech synthesizer.  I decided to “tell” the bad jokes to the son using this program and this (for some reason) made some of them almost funny (but not quite).

Q: Why do melons have fancy weddings?
A: Because they cantaloupe.

Speaking of cantaloupes, the wife planted a small garden this year.  One thing she planted was (3) cantaloupe vines.  The started off slow but have really taken over a section of the front yard.  We have pulled about a 1/2 dozen cantaloupes out so far (some about the size of a grapefruit) and they are pretty good.  I am guesstimating that we have about 10 more out there in various stages of ripeness.  It is hard to get an accurate count as they tend to hide under the vines leaves.

Once they start turning from solid green to having the tan “netting” on them, they are getting close.  They are ready to be picked basically when you mess with them and the just fall of the vine.  I have always really liked cantaloupe and was very excited as I watched our vines take off and produce some fruit.  I don’t know what it is but there is something about eating things that come right from your front yard.  We do have some tomatoes that are coming in nicely as well…

Sorry for the slight out of focus, we do not own a very high quality digital camera.  We have picked about a dozen tomatoes so far and even had one today on our lunch sandwiches.  Over the weekend the wife made some zucchini bread from the zucchini growing in the back yard (the green beans back there were choked out by them and the cucumbers – we will plan better next year).  OK one more for the road…

Q: How are a Texas tornado and a Tennessee divorce the same?
A: Either way, somebody's gonna lose a trailer.

Jon