Blog Number 257

Greetings and welcome to today's random thought.

Last night after the kids went to bed, the wife looked at me and said those three words husbands everywhere like to here.  "Get our laxatives."  Let me explain.  I mentioned last week that I was weaning myself off of caffeine (again).  Or rather that the wife was weaning me off of coffee in order to start a week long detox.  As you can see by the picture below, it is a kit that you buy.

This kit was enough for 2 detoxes (what is the plural of detox?).  Anyway, you take 3 fiber pills 30 minutes before breakfast (the big container), 1 milk thistle pill 2 hours after breakfast, 1 milk thistle pill 2 hours after lunch, 3, 4, or 5 (depending on what day you are on) fiber pills 30 minutes before dinner and a cleansing laxative pill before bedtime.  Also, you have to drink 96 oz of water spread throughout the day.

Now, I mentioned that you cannot have caffeine on this week long event but you also cannot have processed sugar or red meat.  Given that 96 oz of water is roughly 93 more oz than I usually drink per day and add in all else that I have to give up along with having to plan my eating / pill taking and you can guess that this has not been a fun week for me.  Fortunately though, since we started on Saturday, I only have 3 days left (including today).  After 4 days I cannot tell a real difference.  I do not feel especially cleansed.  Also, I am sick of drinking so much water (and having to use the restroom at an equally increased frequency).  It is nice to be off of coffee (again) though I guess.

Let me take this last paragraph to personally and publicly thank my wife (once again) for keeping me healthy.  I should live to a ripe old age and I can see myself at age 80 sitting down to breakfast with her, taking a pile of pills and chewing through my oat bran wondering if I would not have had more fun eating what I want and being dead at 55.  Fortunately for me, I don't have the choice of eating unhealthy stuff for if I do, there are more cleansing kits waiting for me (or [gulp] who knows what else).

Thanks for reading my Random Thoughts.

Jon