Blog Number 101

Greetings and welcome to today's random thought.

Well since up until 3 months ago I was a Hoosier, yesterday was my first ever time to "fall back" due to daylight saving time.  This would also be the first time my cat had to fall back.  He didn't.  He was trying to get us up at 4:30 instead of 5:30.  Not really a problem as I had decided that having this extra hour would be a great time to head down to the workout room and add a little exercise to this diet I am on.  So for I am down 8 pounds and with Thanksgiving and Christmas lurking I need all the head start I can get.  There was another person in the workout room but that is a blog for another day.

Since Halloween is so close everything everywhere reflects this.  The daughter and I were out tonight to the grocery store to get some milk (organic), water (filtered) and bread (whole grain).  Immediately upon entering the store we encountered some scary balloons.  The daughter is very observant of these things, pointing out every little scary thing she sees.  I am not sure if she remembers a lot from this time last year so I am sure that to her, things are just getting more scary for no apparent reason.  The wife and I don't discuss Halloween really.  It is not that we are against or for it really, we just don't celebrate it.  Hence, I don't even think the daughter knows what Halloween is.  This makes for awkward conversations in lines at places like (oh, I don't know) grocery stores.  A grandmother behind us was buying 6 or 7 bags of Hershey's Miniatures and asked my daughter if she was looking forward to Halloween.  She has no idea what this nice lady is talking about and could produce only a blank stare.  The lady in front of us was buying some pumpkin carving gifts.  "Are you carving a pumpkin?", she asked?  Blank stare.  The checkout lady then asked what she was going to dress up as - blank stare.

As uncomfortable as this is for her to go through, it cannot be worse than "the look."  "The look" is what people give me after quizzing my children and finding they know nothing about Halloween.  It is a look that conveys that they assume I am some sort of religious kook or something.  I have found that saying nothing is really the best defense.  I have tried the "we don't celebrate Halloween" approach but people then feel like I think they are some sort of heathen for observing it.  I don't know what to say to them that will stop "the look" from continuing.  Oh well, it will be over soon.

The church we are attending is having a fall festival on 10/31.  I have never been into the "fake" Halloween thing.  If you show up with kids somewhere on 10/31 and they give out candy, then that is Halloween, not some sort of fall festival.  Our church is giving away 700,000 pieces of candy tomorrow.  Seven Hundred Freakin' Thousand pieces!  Insane!  I don't really want to go but I am sure I will be suckered into attending somehow.

I still haven't decided what I will tell people though - whether I went to a Halloween party or a fall festival.

Thanks for reading my Random Thoughts.

Jon

Blog Number 100

Greetings and welcome to today's random thought.

The daughter is quite hooked on anything having to do with the Disney Princesses.  Now I know that a lot of little girls are really into these gals but mine might be a little overboard.  She has a DVD that came with a plastic mat that is about 3 foot in diameter.  She puts the DVD in and it tells her where to step on the map to do various dances that they do in the movies that involved the princesses.  She watches it about every day.  The DVD also came with a wand (of course, what princess would not keep her wand handy).  Many of the dances make use of the wand as well.

Her infatuation does not stop there however, it seeps into everyday life.  Take her prayers for instance.  When she prays over her food, she also prays that "Mommy and Daddy's dreams all come true."  I looked and that prayer is nowhere in the Bible per se.

Last night I was trying to catch up on some work email so I had my work laptop up and going and was dutifully sitting in front of it.  It was the wife's turn to bathe the daughter but as she came out of the bathroom in her pajamas, she made a beeline for her wand.  She then walked over to where I was working, waved the wand around me and said, "Bippity, Boppity, Boo.  Now get off the puter!"

Too cute.  In this case, her wish did come true.  What do you know, the wand actually works!

Thanks for reading my Random Thoughts.

Jon

Blog Number 99

Greetings and welcome to today's random thought.

My daughter is really into books lately.  My wife has taught her to read and although she it not quite past the Bob Books, she is doing pretty good for a 4 year old.  She really likes any book about animals.  During the football game yesterday I was looking through a particularly detailed books on cats.  I had to point out the pumas, leopards, ocelots and panthers (and many, many more).

Today the wife and daughter made another trip to the library and came home with "Antarctic Antics: A Book Of Penguin Poems" by Judy Sierra.  The wife suggested I read one particular poem.  Here it is...

It's been one whole hour since I ate.
Why is my mother always late?
While you and Mom procrastinate.
I might become a featherweight.
You know what I'd appreciate?
Cough it up, Dad.  Regurgitate.

The poem is quite simple.  All the end words rhyme like a good poem should.  But seriously, how did this get into the book?  Did they need one more page or two to meet some sort of minimum criteria for book length?  This also begs the question, "Were there poems that did NOT make the criteria for the book?"  If we saw the ones left out of the book would we find the following...?

I wonder what it would be like to be a species,
That did not take the time to eat their own feces?

I'm telling you, I should write a book of poems myself.

Thanks for reading my Random Thoughts.

Jon

Blog Number 98

Greetings and welcome to today's random thought.

I had a particularly hectic day at work.  Fridays are all about the escalations and today was no different.  Well, I take that back, today my team leader took the afternoon off.  Oh, and he asked me to back him up.  Oh, and my manager was on vacation.  Oh, and his manager was on vacation.  This meant that all escalations for the afternoon had to be dealt with by me.  I have done this before and typically I have found that if you sound angry and speak like you are important, people will believe you.  Some of my teammates will ask me to call a supplier and use my "angry, important" voice.  This works with amazing results.  I feel a little guilty pretending to be important, but speaking calmly and softly does not work on Friday afternoons when the weekend is looming.  So anyway, that was my day.

I got home around 5:40 and noticed right off the bat that dinner was not started.  The wife knew at about 5:20 that I was heading home and I was promised spaghetti and meatballs for dinner so I found it odd that there was not at least some water boiling.  After the normal greeting reserved for a father / husband who has been gone all day, the wife then asked me if I was sure that I wanted spaghetti for dinner.  For those of you guys out there that are not married, let me roughly translate this for you from marriage-speak - "We are going out to dinner."  Now that is a rough translation but the syntax is correct.

We had not had pizza in a while so we headed down the road to Brooklyn's Pizzeria.  We had been there once before and it was really good so it was an easy choice.  The place was a little crowded and there were only a few tables left so we headed to the counter to place our order.  After we ordered, we were handed a little plastic number to put at the end of our table.  By the time we were done, there were no tables left.  I did notice though that several tables were taken by people without numbers so they obviously snagged them while someone else who was with them was waiting in line to order.  This seemed a little unfair but in a few minutes a group left and we got 2 tables for 2 by the register.  This area is a little busy but at least we were sitting down.

Right above my table was a sign indicating the sizes of pizzas that they offered.  Most pizza places have these.  However most shops have the words "small", "medium", "large", "extra large", etc. on the sign.  This one did not have sizes but rather measurements (12", 14", 16", and 18").  Hello?  Anyone else see the utter pointlessness of this?  If your pizza sizes don't have the names "small", etc., and are rather indicated by actual measurement, what is the point of having them visible on the wall?  Can you not visualize how big a 14" pizza is without a picture?  14" is 14" no matter what you are ordering.

Anyway, the owner is this older dude that seemed to know all the regulars there and called them by their first names.  He came over toward the end of the meal and asked me if the son was good or bad.  He needed some bad boys to wash some dishes and was wandering around recruiting (or so he said).  The son almost believed him for a second.  He talked to us for a few minutes and gave each of the kids a quarter to put in the gumball machines.

All in all it was not a bad time despite the crowdedness and how my day had went at work.  I was just sitting there though by the register waiting for someone to ask how big the 14" pizza was.

Thanks for reading my Random Thoughts.

Jon

Blog Number 97

Greetings and welcome to today's random thought.

Wednesday nights we take the kids to AWANA.  This starts at 6:30 and so we need to leave at around 6:20.  I don't usually get home from work until around 5:30.  Hence, Wednesday evenings at our house are a little hectic.  Tonight was no different.

I actually did not get home until about 5:50 so that left precious little time for dinner.  The wife had fried up some chicken breasts, baked some potatoes and steamed some corn (am I making you hungry?).  There was only one problem.  The chicken breast was not boneless nor was it skinless.

I prefer my chicken with no bone and no skin (the way God intended it to be).  Whenever I am eating any meat that is still attached to the bone, I feel like some sort of Neanderthal man.  I do not know why this is, but it is.  Now truth be told, my wife did not buy this chicken.  It was purchased by her mother when she was here on a visit and it was on sale (for like $1 / lb.).  Be that as it may, I still don't like it.

So here I am, pressed for time, trying to avoid my primal instincts to grunt while pulling the flesh from the chicken carcass.  My son (who is very much like me) struggles with this as well.  This blog cannot convey the range of facial expressions he had during dinner.  I really feel for the kid.

I survived.  We all got enough to eat and the kids got to AWANA on time.  Unfortunately, we still have (4) more bone in, skin on, chicken breasts in the fridge (grunt, grunt).

Thanks for reading my Random Thoughts.

Jon

Blog Number 96

Greetings and welcome to today's random thought.

I think I have given up on the idea of blogging every day, no matter what.  Maybe the newness has wore off.  Maybe I have writer's block.  Maybe I have just run out of ideas.  Maybe I will change my mind tomorrow.

Proverbs 18:24a says, "A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly..."  This verse is nowhere proved more to be true than by my daughter.  She is just about as friendly as you can get.

Today was grocery day for the wife and daughter.  Since I get paid twice a month, the wife has to stagger her grocery shopping days every other week so that there are exactly 4 grocery days per month.  I think that this week was really supposed to be a Sunday grocery day but given that the stores are so busy on Sunday's, she would rather put it off one more day.  This makes Sunday dinner and Monday breakfast to be slim pickin’s.  However, she is more than willing to have us sacrifice so that she does not have to shop on Sunday.  I have pointed out to her on occasion that we should not have to suffer (with whatever food is left) so she could avoid suffering (not shopping on Sunday).  This type of complaint typically is met with deaf ears.

Anyway, back to Proverbs 18:24.  Although we have taught my daughter not to talk to strangers, we do allow her some leeway when she is with us.  I usually ask her about her day when I get home.  Today was no different and she proceeded to tell me about a lady she met today.  She started by stating the obvious, "I met a lady with just one leg."  "Really," I said.  She then told me that this lady's leg was sick so they had to take it off.  My wife filled in the details.  Evidently she saw this lady in a wheelchair that was obviously missing a leg and in a very truthful and curious manner, asked her what happened to her leg.  The lady politely explained what had happened at which point my daughter looked long and hard at her legs and then stated to the lady, "I have two legs."  The lady said that she was glad that my daughter had two legs.

This happened with my son as well when he was around 5.  He saw someone in a wheelchair and inquired as to why the person had to be in a wheelchair.  They politely explained at which time my son said, "So, you get to sit down all the time?"  The person had evidently not thought of it that way and had a nice chuckle.  The wheelchair must have been an electric one as he then asked about the buttons on the chair.  This person explained that they made the wheelchair go.  This then started a discussion about how fast it could go and how neat that must be.  When my son left this person, their face was beaming.  This had truly made their day.

Fast forward to the wife and daughter coming home today with groceries.  There was another person walking toward the apartment building.  My daughter said hello to him and he smiled at her and walked on at which time my daughter said to my wife,  "He did not say hello to me."  The man overheard this and turned around and came back and apologized and then said hello.

Now I know that this does not work as well if you are (oh, say) 37.  But I think a lesson can be learned here.  Show yourself friendly.  You would be surprised of the effects.

Thanks for reading my Random Thoughts.

Jon

Blog Number 95

Greetings and welcome to today's random thought.

Our friends from around Austin, TX, were coming up today but because it is about a 4 hour drive they were not due in until slightly after noon.  I knew that both of our kids would be eager for their arrival and I remember being that age and how time just drug on when you were watching the clock in anticipation.  Because of this, around 11 I corralled both kids into the Buick and headed toward Starbucks for hot chocolate.  I say "hot" chocolate but really it is more like warm chocolate.  If you order any kids drink, they keep the temperature down.  I would guess it is mostly for safety reasons but part of me thinks it is so they don't get sued for burning some pour kids tongue.

I ordered coffee and added a little half-n-half to it.  I am cutting most sugar out of my diet in order to lose a little weight and I am not a fan of any artificial sweeteners.  A few years ago I cut most sugar out of my diet and lost about 50 lbs. over 6 or 8 months.  Since then I have put about 35 of it back on.  I knew what I weighed but it wasn't until I was looking at some pictures from Christmas 2003 that I realized how much heavier I looked.  I started my "diet" on Thursday and am already down 2 lbs. in 2 days.  If I can keep up this pace (which is not likely, nor is it healthy to lose weight this quickly), I will be down to my target weight by Thanksgiving.

Because the "hot" chocolates were not that hot and since my coffee was both hot and not sweet, the kids finished their drinks before I finished mine.  The kids sat quietly while I sipped my coffee and I even convinced the 8 year old to take a sip of my coffee.  I don't think he has ever had coffee before but if he had, it more than likely had a lot of sugar in it.  Either way, he agreed to try a sip.  In my opinion, the coffee had cooled down enough for him so he tipped the cup up and took a swig.

The look on his face was priceless.  It was obvious that he did not much care for the taste (this is Starbucks coffee with no sugar mind you, probably an acquired taste).  But the look on his face was more complicated than that.  His face said much more than just, "This is awful."  I have thought about his expression off an on during the day and the best way I can describe it is this, "This is awful, and you are drinking it?  On purpose?"  He must think I am crazy.  I stopped about half way through the cup.  Drinking coffee without sugar is going to take some getting used to.  Maybe he is right, maybe I am crazy.

Thanks for reading my Random Thoughts.

Jon

Blog Number 94

Greetings and welcome to today's random thought.

Sorry about not blogging yesterday, I was not feeling well.  Of course I could have blogged about not feeling well, but I didn't feel like it.  While at a stoplight on the way to work this morning,  I looked in my rearview mirror and was people watching.  Now the wife will tell you that I am a people watcher.  I am more than that actually, I am a people commenter.  This is what gets me out of going places with the wife (like the grocery store), her fear that my "people commenting" might be overheard by (oh, I don't know) people.  I am of the mindset that some things that are odd just have to be pointed out, no matter who's feelings may get hurt.  Anyway, I looked in my rear view mirror and saw a mother and father obviously heading to work and their small child in the backseat.  Both parents were eating breakfast, one had an apple but I could not tell what the other was eating.  But there they were, just having breakfast together in their car.

That made me think of my family (not that we eat a lot in the car).  It made me feel thankful that we sit down each night together (as a family) and have dinner together.  I have no idea if this family eats other meals together like this or at an actual table.  That is one thing that I have sort of vowed to do, never have a family life so busy that we don't have at least one meal a day together.

OK, enough about that.  Today being Friday the 13th I thought I would broaden your vocabulary a little.  Now you have probably heard of Triskaidekaphobia (the fear of the number 13) but have you ever hear of Hexakosioihexekontahexaphobia?  This is the fear of the number 666.  Now I have a healthy respect for the number 666 but I really cannot say that I fear it.  Today also marks the first time in 476 years that all the numbers in a date of a Friday the 13th total 13 (10/13/2006 - 1+0+1+3+2+0+0+6=13).  That has not happened since 1/13/1520 (according to this article).

More that likely though you are reading this entry on some other day than today, so take heart, you survived!

Thanks for reading my Random Thoughts.

Jon

Blog Number 93

Greetings and welcome to today's random thought.

As I begin this blog, bath duty is looming.  Since our guests left it is back to the normal every other day bath duty (sigh).

The wife and I have an ongoing contest on one of our favorite computer games, Mahjongg.  The game that comes with Ubuntu lets you pick different tile sets and also different tile layouts.  Each layout has a different degree of difficulty.  If you don't see a match you can ask for a hint.  Also, if you have no legal moves left, you can have the computer shuffle the tiles around.  The whole point is to clear the board in as little time as possible.  You get penalized by adding time to your clock for the hints and the shuffles.  If you clear the board and have one of the best times, you get to enter your name on the "Best Times" list.

Now, you would think that if you read this list you would simply see either my wife's or my name and then the time.  Our list is more of a taunting / bragging list.  Here are the current entries...

1. TAKE THAT BABY!!!! - 2m 58s
2. Me me me - 3m 11s
3. me - 3m 20s
4. Yes, The Man Did It! - 3m 24s
5. The Woman Did It! - 3m 26s
6. almost! - 3m 26s

Now I am sad to say that only #4 is mine.  All the others are times the wife has put up.  In my defense, she plays about 10 games for every 1 that I play.  I have not yet attempted to hack the high score log and manually enter lower scores.  I am sure it can be done.  I know this only because I envision the programmer who wrote the game probably had a wife like mine.  I imagine their scores look like this...

1. You call yourself a programmer? - 1m 45s
2. So, you created this game and yet I can beat you - 1m 57s
3. Ho hum, another low time - 2m 12s
4. Honey, I got this time blindfolded - 2m 14s

So I guess it could be worse.  I have a feeling though if I drop out of the top 10, Mahjongg will mysteriously disappear from the games list on our computer.

Thanks for reading my Random Thoughts.

Jon

Blog Number 92

Greetings and welcome to today's random thought.

If your head starts to hurt anytime during this blog feel free to move onto CNN's Offbeat News section for some lighter fare.  Yesterday's blog was my 100th entry.  Now I did not make a big deal about it (for reasons that will soon become apparent).

In my (humble) opinion, our society makes too big of a deal about anything ending in a 0.  We think that turning 30, 40, 50, etc., is a big deal.  This also works for anniversaries  The anniversary / birthday industry really pushes this idea as well.  We are also this way about anything ending in 5.  I have a hypothesis on why this is so.  Now I have no proof of this but I am sure if you ask Mr. Google you would find some people that agree with me.  I think it is because we have 5 fingers on each hand (or 10 total).  Our whole society is base 10 "based" on this fact.

As a kid, I remember reading Ripley's Believe It Or Not.  One article stated that certain tribes (in Africa I think) averaged 6 fingers per hand.  Even then I wondered if 10 meant anything special to them (like our 8 or 9 did).  I mean who really celebrates their 27th (the 3rd 9) of anything?  So, would they celebrate the 30th of anything since 36 would be 3 twelve's and hence be their "30"?  I spend a lot of time pondering these things and always have.

Thanks for reading my Random Thoughts.

Jon

Blog Number 91

Greetings and welcome to today's random thought.

You will have to pardon this entry and anything I might say.  I just returned from watching "Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby" so I cannot be held responsible for my random thoughts tonight.

So I left work early this afternoon so I could get home in time for a parent / teacher conference.  Up until this year we have homeschooled our 8 year old.  OK, I say "we" but really my wife has done most (ok almost all) the actual work.  Consequently, I have never attended a parent / teacher conference.  OK well technically, every night when the wife and I would talk it would be (again, technically) a parent / teacher conference.  Heck, to be truly technical, if the wife started talking to herself, you could legitimately say that it was a parent / teacher conference.  But I digress, today I went to my first parent / teacher conference where the "teacher" was not my wife.

Now that we have that settled (it is settled right?), let's get on with the blog.  We went through the normal stuff, your son is doing this and that, yada yada yada.  I wasn't really paying attention.  Just kidding.  I actually had a pretty good time.  The teacher is a nice enough lady and she and my wife have several things in common.  Toward the end of the meeting, we talked about our grade school memories.  My son is in third grade and I admitted to his teacher that I did not even remember my third grade teacher.  I remember my second grade teacher.  I remember my fourth grade teacher.  I even remember a substitute teacher that I had in the fourth grade.  But for the life of me, I don't remember anything about third grade.  I assured her that I meant no disrespect by this admission.

The teacher just sat there silent for a minute and then admitted that she could not remember her third grade teacher either.

Thanks for reading my Random Thoughts.

Jon

Blog Number 90

Greetings and welcome to today's random thought.

Since we have our two visitors this week, getting ready in the morning takes some planning.  It also takes some speed so that everyone can have hot water in their shower.  I ended up going 2nd and sped through at near record speed.  I also opted out of shaving for the 2nd straight day (thereby avoiding death again).  I was on the computer after my shower and noticed that someone else was in the shower.  We have 2 bathrooms in our apartment and the person going 3rd was in the kids bathroom.

While on the computer I saw my 4 year old daughter head to the kitchen.  I didn't think anything of it really.  She emerged from the kitchen with a butter knife and headed toward her bedroom.  This should have raised a red flag in my parental head but I was busy checking out what was on Woot! for the day so I was a little distracted.  A few seconds later I hear the 4 year old talking to whoever was in the shower.  Now I know the bathroom door was locked.  It was then that I put 2 and 2 together.  My sweet, innocent, 4 year old daughter had broke into the bathroom.  She had picked the lock with a butter knife!

My head was in a whirl!  How could she have learned this technique?  I know that we have a few educational channels but I can't imagine this ever being the subject matter.  I don't think I could even open a locked bathroom door with a butter knife.  I then looked at the wife and explained that the 4 year old had done this deed.  My wife just laughed.  I asked the wife how she could have come by this tidbit of knowledge.  Avoiding eye contact, she pleaded the 5th.

I wonder what else the wife it teaching the kids while I am at work?  At least I know now that locking my bathroom door will not guarantee any privacy.  I will have to hide the butter knives first.

Thanks for reading my Random Thoughts.

Jon

Blog Number 89

Greetings and welcome to today's random thought.

Well I was able to avoid death today.  Since it is Saturday and I do not shave on Saturdays, the wife could not attempt to end my life with Cruex (those of you who are confused will have to read yesterday's blog).  On the next several Saturdays, the son has soccer games and today was no different.  The mother-in-law and sister-in-law were able to attend as well.  This evening though the wife went out with them for dinner and a movie so I got bath duty.  Also, after the bath, we played 3 games of TriOnimoes (the 4 year old won each game).

This afternoon however, the rest of the clan went to a pumpkin patch and was was left all by my lonesome self.  I had no real desire to travel to the patch with the kids and they would have an equally good time with or without me so I took the opportunity to head to another Half Price Bookstore in hopes of finding more discounted CDs.  This store's selection was quite paltry compared to the first one that I visited so I was heading home a lot quicker than I originally intended to.  When I got back to the apartment I noticed a moving van backed up to my building.  I peeked inside and asked the 2 ladies who were in there if they needed any help.  The answer I was looking for should have gone something like this, "No, thanks.  We got it."  This however was NOT the response given.  All they said was a simple, "Yes."  So now I was stuck as there is no good way that I know of that you can withdraw your offer.

Fortunately for me, the van was about 75% emptied.  Also fortunate for me was the fact that she was moving into the a first floor apartment.  There were several boxes, a dresser, a mattress, a box springs and a few odds and ends so I jumped right in.  After a few introductions, I was helping her brother move the mattress and box springs.  He looked about like I imagined I looked after I had emptied my U-Haul a few months ago, tired and ready to be done.  But he was grateful for the help.  I remember when I pulled into the parking lot with my moving van.  All the other tenants kept their heads down and avoided direct eye contact.  I also remember how I felt when getting the cold shoulder and that is one of the reasons I volunteered my services.  That and the fact that the van was so empty (hey I can't help it I wasn't there when they arrived!).

Anyway, after everything was unloaded, I headed up to my apartment to fetch my toolbox so we could get the bed put together.  After that was done I said my goodbyes and let them know they were welcome to head up to my apartment if they needed anything.  Then I headed back upstairs and relaxed on the couch in front of the baseball playoffs.

All in all it was a pretty good Saturday.  I avoided death and got to help someone out, not a bad combination.

Thanks for reading my Random Thoughts.

Jon

Blog Number 88

Greetings and welcome to today's random thought.

This morning my wife tried to kill me.  Each weekday morning we have the same routine.  Around 5:30 she nudges me and indicates that it is time for me to get up and make the coffee.  The alarm is set for 5:35 but we rarely need it since the cat usually wakes us up before then.  After the coffee is made, we sit in front of the computer and watch a TV show that we have downloaded from the internet with our coffee.  Once that is over, I go into the bathroom to shave and shower and by the time I come out the kids are up and I grab some breakfast to go and kiss the family goodbye.

OK, now to the attempted murder portion of the blog.  I keep my shaving supplies below the bathroom sink in a basket.  Typically I will have taken my glasses off before reaching down there to grab my shaving gel and my razor.  Unbeknownst to me, the wife had Bogarted my shaving gel can to use in the shower.  With my glasses off I have about 20/100 vision with my left eye.  At that level of sight I can only make out shapes and colors so all I know is that I am looking for a orange-ish colored cylinder that is supposed to be shaving gel.  Since the gel was not there but in the shower, my poor eyes only saw the red-ish can of Cruex (hey, I had some issues a while back!).

Cruex contains Miconazole Nitrate.  I later read the fine print on the can (after I put my glasses back on) and it specifically says, "DO NOT USE in or near the mouth or eyes."  They go on to inform you that you need to call the poison hotline if ingested.

I was able to get to work OK despite this near death experience and I have since then forgiven my wife.  But if these blogs suddenly stop happening, you will know why.

Thanks for reading my Random Thoughts.

Jon

Blog Number 87

Greetings and welcome to today's random thought.

I received a few comments on the new layout.  They all were pretty similar.  They went a little like this...

"You changed something?  Hmm, sorry, didn't notice."

I will admit that the main reason for upgrading to the premium Xanga package was to get rid of the Google ads at the top of the page.  If you look at my sister-in-law's site, you will see what I mean.  Look at the top of the page and notice that there are ads.  Sometimes there is just one ad, other times there are as many as four.  Google has this thing called adsense where it looks at the content of the web page and then posts appropriate ads.  For instance, my first blog entry was about a cashier who shorted me $0.15 when I bought some coffee.  That day, the Google ads were for accounting software, coffee, and cash register supplies.  Makes perfect (ad)sense.  Herein is the main reason that I shelled out the $4 for the premium site.  You can just guess what kind of ads were there when I made THIS POST about naked mermaids riding bareback on stallions.  Nuff said (and you're welcome).

So the mother-in-law and sister-in-law are still here (day 2 of "no bath duty" – woo hoo).  As I arrived home everyone was heading out to the park.  This was fine for me since I had a little bit of a headache.  I ended up taking about a 2 hour nap on the couch.  As I was thinking about what to blog about tonight, I remembered a deep discussion a co-worker and I had about 6 years ago about naps.  This lady I used to work with would get very sleepy in the early afternoon and she thought that if our company would allow everyone to take a 1/2 hour nap each day, then everyone would be more productive.  I on the other had suggested that each employee be made to play chess for 1/2 hour each afternoon and that would make us better workers (due to increase in analytical thinking skills).  Also, napping at work would require a lot of space not to mention cots, pillows and maybe blankets whereas chess would only require a few chess sets (we could use the existing tables in the break room).  Well the company did not take either of our suggestions (shocking, eh?).

I still think it is a good idea (making everyone play chess) but as I get older, I see her point about naps.  Plus I know that if it were taken to the employees for a vote, chess would get about 1 vote.

Thanks for reading my Random Thoughts.

Jon

Blog Number 86

Greetings and welcome to today's random thought.

Well the mother-in-law and sister-in-law arrived this afternoon for a week long visit.  To my wife and I this means one thing, no more bath duty for us for a week!  We even gave each other a high five tonight in celebration.  The sister-in-law drew the short straw tonight.  The daughter has been in super happy mode ever since they arrived at the airport.  Evidently "out of town grandma/aunt visit" is some sort of crack for preschoolers.

We went out to eat at Bennigan's for dinner.  I stepped up to the greeter and notified that we needed a table for 6.  He asked how many kid's menus we would need.  Now it was apparent to me that there were 2 kids in the party.  I answered that I needed zero kid's menus.  He kind of paused like he was not sure how to proceed.  I assured him that no kid's menus were needed and he cautiously took us to our table.  Our waiter then came to our table and I ordered water for my wife, kids and I.  This always gets the "Oh, great" look from the server.  Ordering water evidently signifies to the waiter that we are cheapskates and this will undoubtedly be reflected in his tip.  Combine our water order with the fact that the kids had no kid's menus and this is like an alarm to the waiter.

Now, I am not a cheapskate (really) but the portion sizes that most restaurants serve nowadays just beg that sensible people share a plate.  Also, after an hour at a restaurant, all you really have is a full stomach no matter what you ordered.  The wife and I share a plate all the time when we go out.  We order a more expensive platter and share.  It is not our fault that we cannot consume enough food for 3 people each (some of the things on the menus could feed an army)!  Bennigan's has these new cheeseburgers that they serve on pita bread.  I ordered a BBQ Bacon for the wife and a Peppercorn Bleu variety for myself.  After they arrived, I cut them up and passed them out to the kids.  Everyone was full and as a bonus, Wednesday specials include any burger for $4.99 each.  So before tax and tip, we got out for $10.  The daughter decided she wanted what grandma was having so the son consumed a little more burger to make up for it.  I do reward waiters and waitresses with good tips for good service.  By not spending $2 each for drinks and $10 for kids meals, I have much more available to me to tip (assuming the service was good).

In the end, the mother-in-law paid for dinner.  If I had know that ahead of time I might have ordered the steak.

Thanks for reading my Random Thoughts.

Jon

Blog Number 85

Greetings and welcome to today's random thought.

In case you have not noticed, I change the layout of my blog site.  For $4 / month, you can remove the Google ads that used to be at the top of the page and you can also customize your layout.  I started playing around a little earlier today with the layout (something you can do without shelling out the $4) but when it came time to submitting the new design and going "live" with it Xanga then told me that I had to upgrade.  I thought it a little unfair that they let me play around (getting me hooked) and then forced me to upgrade.  But (as you can plainly see), their plan worked and my PayPal account is $4 lower (sigh).  Let me know what you think.

One thing we had to do when moving to Texas was switch banks.  Our bank in Indiana has branches only in Indiana (which is one heck of a commute to do your banking).  I signed up for the credit union that my company is associated with and planned on closing out the old account.  Ah but as you faithful readers know, nothing in my life is that simple.  For one thing, opening a checking account does NOT mean you get any checks.  When I asked, they said I could go online and order checks.  I went to the credit union's website and the only link referencing checks was RE-ordering checks.  I crossed my fingers and clicked anyway and sure enough, since I had no previous order, I could not re-order.  I really did not even want checks since they have an online bill pay feature that is free so I just planned on not ordering checks.

In order to close the Indiana bank account, I had to change all my auto-pay bills to reference my new Texas account.  That went pretty well except for my life insurance payment.  It seems that I had to fill out 2 pieces of paper AND supply a voided check.  Once again irony enters my life.  So I now have to order checks in order to be able to not pay with a check.  I ended up using Walmart Checks.  I got my box of 240 checks in the mail the other day and dutifully tore off check 1001, voided it, and mailed it to the insurance company.

Who knows when #1002 will be used.

Thanks for reading my Random Thoughts.

Jon

Blog Number 84

Greetings and welcome to today's random thought.

I recently finished re-reading "The Death of Ivan Ilyich" by Leo Tolstoy.  I read this in college about 18 years ago for a literature class.  I remember liking it very much and when I visited the local library recently, I checked it out.  The book is very depressing and looks at one man's death and focuses toward the end on his pain and suffering and his realization that he lived his life in mostly a wrong way (hey I said it was depressing).

I tend to read books just a few pages at each setting so it is not uncommon for me to take a month or two to finish a book.  This story is only 60 or so pages long so it took me only about 10 days overall.  I took it with me to work last week so I would have it to read at lunch.  As I was heading home for the night I stopped off at the restroom and laid the book on the sink while I headed toward the urinal.  Another man entered shortly after I did and noticed the book.  He then started a deep theological discussion while at the urinal next to me.

OK, the "deep theological discussion" only took less than a minute (how long can you take at a urinal really?).  The man had an accent that I could not quite place (somewhere in Europe perhaps).  Anyway, he was shocked that someone was actually reading Tolstoy.  I don't know why he was shocked exactly.  Was is because no one reads Tolstoy or that an American was reading Tolstoy?
A few jobs ago I worked in the laboratory at a foundry.  Toward the end of my tenure there, they hired a metallurgist who was originally from India.  He seemed a little proud overall and carried himself as if he was the most intelligent man there.  I don't think he did this on purpose, maybe I just wasn't used to his culture (or he to mine).  At any rate, one day he was trying to educate me by using a reference to another short story by Tolstoy.  The shock on his face as I told him the story verbatim was priceless.  Here was this $6.50 / hr lab dude that actually heard of Tolstoy (let alone had read anything by him).

This was the same look I got from the guy at the urinal.  It may be coincidental that the only two times I have seem this kind of reaction was from people that were not from this country originally.  Or it could be the fact that every time I bring up Leo Tolstoy to another American, they say, "Leo who?"

Thanks for reading my Random Thoughts.

Jon

Blog Number 83

Greetings and welcome to today's random thought.

Well I have missed my 2nd day blogging.  It is not my fault though.  My AT&T DSL was down from early yesterday morning until around 3 PM today.  When I called in to the help desk, the lady on the other end of the line seemed quite relieved that I was not upset.  Several times I would answer with a "That's OK" or "No Problem" and she thanked me with relief in her voice.  She must have had a bad day.  Odd that my simple words would relieve her stress even if it was a little bit.  So anyway, I have now missed 2 days blogging out of about 80 or so.

The other day I was thinking about naked mermaids riding bareback on white stallions.  Now, now, give me a minute here to explain,  Jeesh, you guys jump to the wrong conclusions so quickly!  Faithful reader, you should know by now that by the 3rd paragraph or so that I will make sense of it all.  You see, my daughter is a big fan of the Disney princesses.  She is also a fan of horses (as noted in a recent blog).  One of the princesses she has is Ariel from "The Little Mermaid."  She had de-clothed Ariel and mounted her on a white horse that my mother had recently purchased for her.  After she showed this to me, I had trouble explaining why I was laughing so hard.  She simply could not understand what I found so amusing.

I also mentioned in another recent blog that the wife and I were attended some Sunday night classes at our church about marriage enrichment.  One thing that popped up tonight was (from time to time) asking your spouse what he/she was thinking about.  My wife has learned long ago to avoid this question like the plague.  I only hope that none of my coworkers ask me this question tomorrow at work.

Thanks for reading my Random Thoughts.

Jon