Saturday, July 26, 2014

Why Do You Want To Join Our Team?

Let me start with a statement that I almost find hard to believe: I have not paid for a haircut in about 5 years.  This is a true statement in the sense that I have not paid any money to an individual to cut my hair (Great Clips, etc.).  I have simply either let my hair grow (sometimes for a year at a time) or shaved it using clippers that I had purchased in the past (here is the first self haircut blog).  I suppose you could make a point that I paid for the clippers but I paid for them over 5 years ago.  Now, the wife did buy a better set to use on the dogs and I have used that set from time to time.  No matter.

Recently I have cut my hair shorter and shorter.  I went from a “4” (1/2”) blade guard to a “3” and worked my way down to a “1” (1/8”).  The “1” was a bit short for my taste and eventually the “1” broke so I simply used a “2” on my hair once a month.  A few weeks ago though I went with a “0” (no blade guard at all).  Now, that is a bit of a stretch as the Wahl trimmer that I use does have a built in guard and it has 2 heights.  I started with the longest height (definitely shorter than a “1”).  Then I began to think about the next step.

I talked with several guys that I work with who happen to cut their hair very short or even shave their head.  I would stop by their cubicle and ask if they had a moment for a non work related question.  The first person I spoke to used a trimmer with a built in guard on the lowest setting.  I was curious as to how much work it was going to be to keep my hair looking OK. Once a month had been my norm but he indicated that he needed to trim his hair every 4 days or so otherwise it began to look bad (some hairs do grow at different speeds I guess).  I thought about this for a few days and then put the guard at its lowest setting and cut my hair as short as it had ever been (I think I had hair when I was born so to the best of my knowledge, this is a true statement).

For the next few days my head felt strange.  The wind felt very different and I found myself stroking my head all over uncontrollably.  I got used to it though.  I then stopped by the cubicle of a co-worker who began shaving his head sometime in the past few years.  I asked about the time commitment and he indicated that he shaved his whole head every day and it took 8 to 10 minutes (including beard) per day.  I asked how much he spend in razors and he did not have an exact number but did admit that he did consider that but no matter what he spent, it was still cheaper than paying someone else to do it.  After that talk, I began to consider shaving my head, if only once, just to see what it felt and looked like.  But there was another piece of information that both co-workers shared with me.

As I spoke with each person, they had this subtle look and even attitude (probably not the correct word) as they were giving me advice.  You see, both of these people decided to cut their hair very short only after they started losing their hair.  They arrived at this hair style as a “least worst” solution given their limited choices.  As they would each talk to me I would notice them look at the top of my head and my obviously dense, thick hair up there.  It was as if they were confused as to why I would consider their hair style when I had other options.  They were asking me, “Why do you want to join our team when you can be on the other team?”  They each seem to suggest that, if given the choice, they would not have the haircut that they had chosen but would rather have longer hair if they had a head of hair like mine.  If they were in my shoes, they would not play on their team.

I was sharing this thought with another co-worker (a younger one with more hair).  He did seem to understand and after I showed him a picture of me from 2006, he suggested I let my hair grow a few months, maybe even until Christmas, and then actually pay for a haircut and come back to the team that not only has hair but also pays for its upkeep.

I am not sure what I am going to do really.  I did decide against shaving my head (even once, just to see what it looked and felt like) but I am not sure about just letting it grown months on end.  It is very short right now (maybe 1/8”) so it will take some time to get it long enough that it even needs to be brushed or combed (probably 6 weeks).  I will have to keep you posted.

Jon

Friday, July 25, 2014

Venti, Dark, Room

Well another month has passed with no blog entry from me.  Apologies.

A few months back my company ran a “Wellness Challenge”.  They do this every year and I usually participate.  You can set up teams, measure your health (via weight lost, minutes exercised or steps walked), and earn points that can be spent on prizes.  This year they really focused on steps walked though so I put on my pedometer each morning and really tried to take as many steps as possible.

I would find longer routes to do various routines.  I even went to an upstairs bathroom via a route that netted me about 500 extra steps round trip.  I began walking more at home at night (which the dogs much enjoyed).  I even changed how I got coffee.

The free coffee that is almost undrinkable is only 70 steps away from my cubicle.  The coffee in the cafeteria downstairs is 250 steps (give or take depending if I walk down or ride down the escalator).  They serve Starbucks brand coffee and when I want coffee, that is where I normally go.  However, in my effort to increase my steps I began to walk to the nearest Starbucks which is just over 1/2 mile away.  The route I took to get coffee was now almost 2,000 steps so I would walk it most days (weather permitting).  I even got a co-worker to join me a time or two.  A few times early on I even walked a bit further to the Dunkin Donuts (but their coffee is not to my liking).

The Wellness Challenge lasted (8) weeks so I made 30+ trips to Starbucks.  I still make the trip most days even though the challenge has been over for a few weeks.  Other than trying iced coffee a time or two, my order was always the same, a venti coffee.  I have not visited Starbucks that much in my life and when I do it is usually with the wife.  I normally let her order for me.  As with ordering at restaurants, I let her order 2 things that sounded good to her, let her try each, and then have whichever one she liked least.  So, I have not developed a feel for the Starbucks language skills needed to place an order like all the normal patrons do.

I stood in line the first few weeks feeling like a foreigner in a foreign land while those in front me of me in line let their very complicated sounding orders roll off their tongues while the cashiers reacted with effortlessness jotting of the key words or symbols on the sides of cups (“Triple, Venti, Half Sweet, Non-Fat, Caramel Macchiato” anyone?).  Sometimes the cashier would ask to confirm an order first before the person could even speak.  I assume these people were regulars and ordered the same thing each time.

I quickly wanted to be one of these people.  I wondered how many days or weeks of coming in and ordering the same thing would net me a place among these people.  I was hoping for that “Norm!” feeling like on the TV show “Cheers”.

At first, I just ordered a “Venti Coffee”.  Sometimes the person would ask me what kind of coffee I wanted.  They offered (3) blends each day and when asked I would just indicate that I wanted the darkest roast.  After a while I started ordering a “Venti Dark Coffee”.  I also noticed that most times they would ask if I wanted room for cream (I did).  Occasionally though they would not ask this so I changed my order to  “Venti, Dark Coffee with Room for Cream”.  Once I got my order perfectly worded (and even a bit complicated sounding) I ordered it this way every day, day in and day out for (4) weeks.

I am still waiting for anyone to remember me and my order.  I began to get frustrated about not getting recognized in this way.  I began to formulate hypothesis about why I was not being remembered.  Maybe I needed to order a drink that required some preparation?  My drink was too easy perhaps?  After all, it was just coffee.  They did not even need to write my name down and then yell it out when it was finished.  Maybe that was it, maybe they needed to know my name!  Maybe I need to find something else to order that required some assembly (“Venti Iced Skinny Hazelnut Macchiato, Sugar-Free Syrup, Extra Shot, Light Ice, No Whip” perhaps?).

I think I will continue my morning walks but I think I will stop visiting Starbucks.  It will save me $2.54 per day (the price did go up $0.09 during my visits).  The same thing is only $2.09 downstairs in the cafeteria.  They don’t remember me there either (and I can avoid the Pizza Nazi).  The wife is suggesting we cut back on our caffeine anyway.  I wonder if they will even miss me?

Jon