Blog Number 54

Greetings and welcome to today's random thought.

n a sad note tonight, I am no longer the KBounce World Champion. I took over the highest score on 6/3/06 and just yesterday on 8/30/06 someone blew away my score. I am not going to attempt to regain my title. The game takes hours, yea days, to play. I am still listed as a previous high score owner, but that is an empty feeling. I hope I have not lost anyone's respect here (bonus points are given for ever even having heard of this game).

The building I now work in is much larger than the one I worked in while in Kokomo, much much larger. In fact, you could fit the building I was working in inside the cafeteria of this new building. I have been getting a little brave and wandering around a little, trying different ways from getting from the parking garage to my cube and back. I have discovered quite a few offices / cubes of people that I know only by phone conversations and emails. It is kind of fun to do this now, however during the first few days that was not the case. There were times I was lost. Then there were times that I could literally see my cubicle (or cubes near it) but for the life of me I could not figure out how to get from where I was back to my cube. I secretly wished I had one of those BatMan grappling hooks so I could just take the straightest path. I guess I will need to leave a bread crumb trail if I want to wander around again.

There was a lady that was trying to carry a bunch of boxes of files from the cube behind me and I offered to help carry them to wherever she was going. She appreciated the help. We moved through a maze of cubes, down some stairs and then through a door that she had to use her key card to get through. Once I set the box down I only had one request, that she walk me back since I had no idea where I was at.

Yesterday I referenced the movie Krull. Well continuing with the movie theme tonight, there is a scene in Elf where Buddy is in a men's room stall. He was used to elf sized toilets his whole life. He stood up on the stall and looked down into the next stall and said, "These toilets are ginormous!" That pretty much sums up how I feel in this building.

Thanks for reading my Random Thoughts.

Jon

OK, Work With Me On This One

Greetings and welcome to today's random thought.

Today I would like to discuss how searching for my nail clippers is like a 1983 science fiction film. I would not be offended if you stop reading now but I have a feeling you have got to be wondering how I will pull this off. Well, read on.

This will make a lot more sense if you have ever seen the movie "Krull" but for those of you who have never seen it, here is a brief overview. A prince and a fellowship of companions set out to rescue his bride from a fortress of alien invaders who have arrived on their home planet. From the sky will come the Black Fortress. From the Fortress will come the Slayers to devour the planet of Krull. Then shall a girl of ancient name become queen...she shall choose a king...and together they shall rule the planet. And their son shall rule the galaxy. The problem for the hero is that the aliens live in this black fortress / castle like thing that changes location every 24 hours. The new location is only known to the people in the fortress and they ain't sharing their choice of the new location. The princess is captured and the prince has to go to the The Widow of the Web to seek out where the fortress will next appear. The Widow sacrifices her life to tell the prince where it will be and he goes on to attempt to rescue her.

OK (work with me here), looking for my nail clippers is a lot like looking for the black fortress. In this case, I am the prince and the nail clippers are the princess (since I am looking for them) and the location of the nail clippers is the black fortress and the powers that be who decide where the clippers should be is my wife. Though she has never seen the movie, I tease her about this. Whenever I say, "I am seeking the location of the black fortress" she knows exactly what I want. Silly me, I feel that the clippers should be kept in the same place over and over, day after day, night after night, should the need for their use arise. To her, well, the fortress must relocate daily.

Now that you have read this and know a little more of how my mind works, all the other blog entries make a little more sense, don't they?

Thanks for reading my Random Thoughts.

Jon

Guys, My Wife Actually Makes Me Use This

Greetings and welcome to today's random thought.

So I have my backup list of blog topics. Those that I can maybe drone on about for 3 paragraphs and maybe, with a pithy comment, salvage a day's blog. Other times inspiration hits me and the words flow from my fingers effortlessly. Now, if you can guess which of the 2 categories this one fits in, well then I will be impressed.

Now, I love my wife but there are things that I have to endure that, well, I shouldn't have to. Case in point, my toothpaste. I could just probably name the toothpaste and end the blog. Let me try it...
Tom's of Maine, Natural Antiplaque Tartar Control plus Whitening Toothpaste, Fennel flavored.

OK, maybe I will say a few more words. Now I am sure Tom (of Tom's of Maine) had good intentions when he thought of this product, but (and I will end with this final thought) the taste leaves a little to be desired. I realized that the taste was worse than I thought when I was brushing my teeth one evening. Evidently I was making quite a few faces (caused by the flavoring) for as I finished brushing, I noticed both my children staring at me in the mirror. When your children find that you brushing your teeth is entertaining, it may be time to rethink a few things.

Thanks for reading my Random Thoughts.

Jon

What Class Am I In Now?

Greetings and welcome to today's random thought.

Well since I have moved from Kokomo, IN to Allen, TX I have noticed a few differences between the cities (besides the ungodly heat here). One such difference is the phenomenal lack of old pick up trucks here in Allen. Kokomo is crawling with them. I have yet to see one here in Allen. This may be due to the state's emission laws (that Indiana does not have). In fact, I have yet to see any beat up truck or car any time in the 3 weeks I have been here (trust me, I have looked).

Another thing I have noticed is that every person that I have met (while shopping, eating out, going to church) appears to make significantly more money than I do (this is totally based on the cars that they drive and the house / neighborhood that they live in). I think I figured out why this is. The average income in Kokomo is <$40K and the average for Allen is pushing $80K.

In Kokomo, I fit in pretty well. In Allen, well I am white trash. By moving here, my wife and I literally LOWERED the average income for the city! We have discussed this fact and tried to convince ourselves otherwise (we were not very convincing). So to my fellow Allen residents, I apologize in advance.

At least I left my pick up truck in Indiana where it belongs.

Thanks for reading my Random Thoughts.

Jon

Everybody, Time To Wake Up

Greetings and welcome to today's random thought.

Well if I do the math right, today's blog is my 50th. Who would have thought that I had so much to say.

As you may recall, when we lived in Indiana we had a dog (Pongo). Since puppyhood, the dog slept in our room. He started out sleeping in a cage and then graduated to a pillow / blanket. He did all right for the most part but every month or so we would be awakened by him with gagging noises. Now there are lots of sounds that wake you up: the sounds of birds chirping, your alarm going off, one of your kids calling out for you, etc. But this has got to be one of the most worstest sounds to wake up to since you don't immediately know what the sound is and once you do recognize the sound, you have precious little time to do anything about it (and usually precious little light as well). For as much joy Pongo brought my family (excluding me of course), this is how I will most remember him.

When we moved to Texas, Pongo was one of the casualties but our cat, Tiger, somehow made the trip manifest. Tiger has the freedom to roam the house / apartment. Being a cat he really has no household obligations so he naps a lot during the day (consequently he is up a lot at night). By about 5 AM he gets really bored and decides that it is time to wake up the humans. He does this by scratching around in his litter box. He scratches until we get up, no matter how long it takes, sometimes for 5+ minutes. If we do not get up quick enough and he has been at his scratching for a while, the litter box takes on a different topography than it should and should the actual need to use the litter box hit Tiger, there is no litter left to damper the sound of him, um, relieving himself. This really wakes me quickly up since the sound of this resembles him relieving himself on any of our floors.

I may have to endure this for a few more weeks before I can tell which way I like better for waking up. I will tell you this, I have not been late for anything since I have moved here.

Thanks for reading my Random Thoughts.

Jon

Money, With An Attitude

Greetings and welcome to today's random thought.

Anyone who knows me knows that I am really hard to buy for when it comes to birthday or Christmas gifts. Well today I received 2 more birthday gifts. I received a book (The Five People You Meet In Heaven) and a gift certificate to Starbucks (one of my wife's favorite spots).

Books are pretty good gifts although if you are a faithful reader of this blog you will recall that I don't finish most books that I start. There is extra pressure to finish the book when it is a gift. I will have to let you know how it goes with this title.

Now at the risk of offending the person who gave me the gift certificate, I think gift certificates are questionable gifts. I have often said it is like giving money with an attitude. Basically when you give this as a gift you are saying, "Here is some money. But I am going to tell you where you have to spend it!" As you may have guessed, I get a lot of gift certificates every year (especially at Christmas time).

Another pet peeve of mine is giving a gift that you are expected to share with your wife / family. Now the Starbucks card I got was probably not meant to be shared in this manner, however based on the wife's facial expression when she saw that I had received it, I think she intends that it be shared.

Thanks to each person who gave me a gift this week. However, the wife is writing one of the Thank You cards for sure!

Thanks for reading my Random Thoughts.

Jon

And the irony continues

Greetings and welcome to today's random thought.

A few days ago I blogged about my outrageous AT&T Phone bill (I have paid it by the way. I can't lose internet! How would I blog?). Anyway, the last person I spoke with when I called in about my bill was the "dry line" DSL guy. As you may recall, this kind of DSL requires no dial tone (no actual phone service). At the end of the conversation, he offered to sell me long distance service. Ironic, eh?

As I was paying my phone / DSL bill (online), I signed up for paperless billing. There were a lot of terms and conditions but in essence I was telling them to stop sending my bill in the normal (snail) mail form and only notify me via email.

We went out to eat tonight to celebrate my birthday and on the way past the front gate we stopped by and got the mail. There was only one letter and it was from AT&T. It was a (paper) letter informing me that they had received my (online) request to stop receiving paper bills. And the irony continues.

Thanks for reading my Random Thoughts.

Jon